Unforgiven
by grainipiot
Summary: His own blood, his own brother, lying lifeless, bathed by moon light. Blood Moon AU, fluff/angst/smut and a lot of feels
1. Chapter 1

His own blood, his own brother, lying lifeless, bathed by moon light. _Monster._ Soiled hands, forever. No redemption. _Unforgiven_.

First, he didn't notice, too shocked. Then a sudden pain, like all his body was burning from the inside. He fell to his knees, nausea and pain mixing. Hands clasped over his heart. It was pounding so fast, he thought he was dying. _Too much pain, too much blood_. All he could feel was pain, bones on fire. Hands now clutched, white knuckles in the crimson grass. He tried to resist. Then it became unbearable, a scream pierced through him then he collapsed, unconcious.

He didn't remember much, he just ran. Ran like he could flee from the curse. _Too late, it's in my veins._

And he kept running, searching for a place where he would be at peace but it didn't exist.

The worst was the call. A dark hunger coiling in his chest, increasing as time passed. At first, he didn't know how to stop it, no food or water could. And it drove him nearly to the point of madness.

When he came to his senses, he found himself clutching at a warm body, limp in his arms, teeth – _no, fangs_ \- puncturing the flesh of the neck and savoring the warm blood like ambrosia.

He pushed away the body, watching it fall on the ground like a puppet. He was seized with horror at the sight and with disgust for his act. Another life taken by his 'hand'. And he craved for it, against his will. It felt so good but _wrong_. He needed it, thirst deeply rooted in his being.

In panick, he abandoned the corpse, though there was still blood to take. He ran, again, steps heavy with guilt.

A mask to hide himself, this monstruous thing. _Fraticide._ Hide the disgrace. Hide at all cost. Ice blue eyes, like staring at your soul. Hair as red as the blood he shed. _Creature._ Sword now stained, _it won't go away._ He lost track of time, sometimes an hour felt as long as a day.

 _Where am I ? Still in Ionia, I guess._

The landscape was familiar yet he was sure that he never came here.

 _How much time since... ?_

Months, maybe a year. Or two. Or three. His wandering only marked by the several drained bodies he left, a macabre trail.

And oh, it haunted him so much, each life taken for him to survive. He always tried to make it quick, to prevent his infortunate victims from suffering. But the insidious hunger was still here, only sated for a little time then it would come back and whisper dark ideas in his ear. _More...But will it ever be enough ?_

His few pursuers were the only one that didn't gave him regrets when he had to kill them, after all, they were hunting their own death.

And here he was, lost in the country he protected. His steps brought him to a village. _Or what is left of it._ No one seemed to live here for a while, old houses barely standing, just ruins. The ronin continued, looking for any sign of a living person. At the same time, he hoped finding no presence here but the ache deep inside urged him to sate his thirst. _If someone is here, he is dead_. He felt guilty in anticipation.

Something caught his attention, a flash of steel in the corner of his vision and all he could do was to draw his sword as protection. The clash resonated in the village and through his body, powerful. No wonder what would have happened if he didn't saw it coming. But right now, Yasuo stared, at the man and the blade that intended to cut him, so shocked that he forgot the hunger.

Said man was dressed simply, the typical clothing of an ionian but his strong grip on his sword, the strenght he displayed while he tried to break the intruder's defense proved that he was a fighter, the same kind than him.

 _His eyes..._

Memories came back, distant, like it belonged to someone else. The same green eyes, staring back at him without faltering. _Fierce._ Then the gaze widened in recognition and he lowered his sword, scrutinizing him.

« Take off your mask » it was an command, clear voice heard a long time ago, and the ronin complied, too confused to refuse.

It still hurt to reveal his face, even to a man he already met. _Disgrace_ , it whispered in his head.

« I wasn't mistaken... It's you. The samurai during the war, isn't it ? »

 _He was there too. Master Yi._

The other swordman took a few steps, reducing the distance between them with a quizzical look.

« What happened to you ? »


	2. Chapter 2

Yes, he remembered, fragments of memory.

The war. Hundreds of corpses, rotting in the fields.

The day he left the village, to protect his lands and its inhabitants, ignoring if he would see them again.

Each life he took for each noxian slayed, blade stained with blood. _Our valleys splattered with crimson, maybe the nature will grow stronger after this massacre._ His actions always left him a bitter taste. _But they deserved it, started this. No remorse_.

And this man cutting his way through the battlefield, determination in his eyes and as fast as the wind. Yasuo. _Young impetuous Yasuo, so confident he believed his sword could make a difference in this war._

Even a wound didn't teach him a lesson and keep him from fighting.

« It was foolish to face so many ennemies » said calmly the swordman, attending to the injury after having forced him to retreat. « You could have died »

« My duty is to push back the invasion, I have to risk my life. I can handle it. » smug tone but sincere gratitude in his gaze.

« You will protect no one if you die here, even if your honor is safe »

« I can also take care of myself. »

« Good. Now, prove it by staying alive » Yi didn't feel much older than him but it still sounded like a scolding. _It's like talking to myself_ , he sighed.

Yasuo knew he was right and he could reply nothing to this. After all, the other man just helped him.

« Here you go. You should be careful with your wound but I know you'll run again to your death. » huffed tone.

« Thank you » almost a whisper

Yi looked back at him, half surprised then answered with a smile. « We're all in hell, it's better to help each other »

This sight was as burned in his memory, the swordman turning away to fullfill his dear duty, hiding a faint red on his cheek. _Gone in an instant, like the wind_.

It was painful to see him now, mask fallen to reveal stunning yet tired blue eyes. _Eyes that saw too many things, horror, death._ His hair also had changed, as dark as before but a different shade of red. But definitly the same man and blade.

Yi took a few steps toward him, watching him like it would answer all his questions. He didn't know what to feel : maybe relief, from seeing the man alive and unhurt but also concern and... a bit of fear.

It was an evil aura that led him to Yasuo and initially convinced him to attack. Whatever the source would have been, it couldn't possibly be of any good. _Something deeply vile._ When he faced and attacked the masked man, it was some kind of reflex, instinct screaming to execute such a 'wrong' being. To protect himself.

Yasuo avoided his gaze, somehow self-concious, it was difficult to stand under the judgement of another swordman, one he already knew. _Shameful_.

The worst was the return of the hunger, wilder than ever as the only thought of another man so close. It has been too long since the last time. _Too long_.

He tried to keep his eyes locked anywhere, the call too strong and he feared that the other would notice and- and what ? Drive him away ? Hunt him down for his crimes ? _He is a good man, he really could._

His dark nature whispered profanities, how it would feel so good just to surrender to his impulse and sink his fangs in tender flesh. The taste of rich blood. _Too long_. And even the warmth of a really alive body. Drink him dry, feed of his very soul.

He didn't realized how his gaze was now clouded, staring at the uncovered neck, captivated. _His heart beat. Can hear it. No no no. It's wrong !_ How his pulse would flutter under his tongue, skin losing its pink as life would seep away. _Stop !_

Without noticing, he took a few steps forward. The Wuju Master was quite confused by the unabashed look and shivered internally when he detected a starved and desperate hint in it. _A beast and its prey._ Still, he wanted to see where that was leading to. _Will he try to kill me ?_

Yasuo's hand reached for him, shaking like he was unsure of his own will but something alarmed Yi, a glint of white, sharp and merciless. _Fangs ?_ He spurred into action and slapped away the hand, stepping back, surprise clearly present on his face.

The ronin sort of snapped out of whatever trance he was in, incredulous. At least, he was shocked as the other man. He shied away, both to protect Yi from himself and to brace for the cruel reaction expected. _He knows, he knows, he knows. Too late..._

But it didn't come. Just silence while the Wuju Master tried to understand what he just saw and what it could mean. _And why him ?_

He was ready for any kind of reaction, revenge, disgust, maybe even fear ? But none came. Only a questionning gaze.

« What was... that ? »

Yasuo didn't answer, turning his back and fleeing in the shadows of the wood. Away from him. _He saw me. He saw me as I am._


	3. Chapter 3

_I should have followed him. To know._

His lack of reaction left the Wuju master bitter, even a few days later. The encounter was brief but it got him troubled enough to pick his attention.

 _Did he really intended to kill me ? Bite me ?_

He felt the same presence around him, lurking from the woods, and the unsettling gaze heavy on his shoulders. _He is still here_. Yi didn't try to confront him, this surely would only scare away the man but his questions needed an answer. He also noticed the times when he wasn't observed, for a certain amount of time, hours, half a day then he would come back. Once, he almost believed that Yasuo left definitely after one day passed but he was proved wrong again.

Then one afternoon it happened. A few steps in the grass, difficult to hear, but also the peculiar aura announced the ronin, silently joining the Wuju Master while he meditated. _At last_. They didn't talk but it was the first step in the good direction.

When he saw that the other swordman didn't move or made any objection, he felt so relieved.

He still didn't understand the strange attraction to the Wuju master, the reason he came back each time he left to search some fresh blood. Even if his thirst was calmer, the ronin felt the urge to go back to the village. By now, he had learned a bit of the routine of the other man and he hoped he could just join him, even an instant. _What a curious feeling_.

In a way, it made him happy to have company, even in silence, even masked, to be tolerated by someone as respectful as Master Yi.

It quickly became a new habit for the two of them, meditating outside and surrounded by the noises of nature, birds. _So much peace._ The ronin basked into the latter's presence, somehow it relaxed him just to be near and he grew more comfortable.

One time it started raining so instead of going back home alone, Yi took the other man to shelter in the small house he occupied. In a hurry to avoid being drenched, he leaded Yasuo in without really asking if he wanted to. Once safe, he released the hand he was still holding since he brought the other man here, a little embarrassed then he busied himself with making tea, to avoid the eye contact. Though, he could feel the curious gaze watching each of his moves, wandering in the room and on the furnitures.

The Wuju master joined him and handed a cup of tea to the other man, sitting near. It took him 15 long seconds looking at the uneasy swordman then it clicked. _Ah_.

« Hum, I'm sorry. I forgot about your mask. You don't have to take it off. » he blamed himself, _really stupid_.

« It's not your fault » without hesitation, he put off his mask. « I don't mind » it was indeed a lie, he felt as naked than the last time but it was also easier, like a breath he was holding for a long time. Yasuo studied the other's reaction and instead of eventual disgust, he found there surprise. _He already saw me like that_.

« Should I... ? »

« No, no. Stay like this. It's just the first time I hear you since the war » It was true, he hadn't talked at all since then. Yi wasn't expecting his voice to be this _deep_ , just like the man, the same but changed into something darker. He would deny the light fluster that followed, how this voice sounded so much like the younger man he met years ago but tinted with an almost seductive tone. _The charms of the devil,_ that thought made him shiver.

« It's true » said in a whisper. He couldn't remember the last time he talked to someone. _Or even stayed near someone without trying to kill them_. He took a sip of tea, bracing himself for the questions he knew were coming. After all, the silence was broken and this was the perfect occasion to ask.

« Did you really wanted to kill me ? » the Wuju master saw him twitch at the question, his eyes definitely not looking at him. _Maybe he regrets_. He knew a bit the man before, he could have changed not only in body but in mind too, _who knows ?_ The latter looked like he searched his words, it was painful to see him in such a disarray.

« I... » self loathing could be heard in his voice « It's complicated. I mean- I didn't for sure wanted to kill you but... » he let out a breath and made eye contact in a way so shy it made the other man even more confused. « Your blood- the call was too strong, I couldn't control myself. I'm so sorry ! » his gaze pleading him to understand what he couldn't voice.

Yi's eyes widened, this wasn't expected at all. _My blood ?_ _This explains the starved look he gave_. And the gods be damned, he would always remember that look, raw thirst glistening. And also a second after he shook him out of it, the clear distress that replaced the hunger. _Scared of himself_ , he realized.

« To drain me dry ? That's what you wanted ? » his words were sharp and he knew it but he needed answers. Red colored Yasuo's face and it could have been cute in another context. _Yes, he regrets it_.

« No » voice so small compared to the bluster of his youth. « I needed it but didn't want it »

« What I can see is that you didn't do it so no need to be scared. But is there a link with... all this ? » he made a large gesture to the ronin. « What happened to you ? »

His question was met by silence at first. « I don't know, I just know I was turned into _this_. » while he said it, his hands clutched without thinking the cup he was holding.

 _There is something_. There was a last thing the Wuju master needed to make clear : « And will you try again to bite me ? » He asked anyway, though he was sure that he wouldn't dare to.

« No. I swear I'm not gonna hurt you. » this time he looked right at him, no faltering.

His words felt so true.


	4. Chapter 4

« You keep visiting me. Though I don't mind at all, don't you have somewhere to go ? » asked Master Yi when the other man took his leave. It was strange to try and keep him here a bit more, they would meet anyway the next day, following their new habit but after all that was said, he hardly could let the ronin go.

« No » he wasn't looking at him when answering as he faced the woods, a few steps ahead of the house.

« The war is over for years, why aren't you back to your village ? » he still felt the problem, the 'something' kept under silence and it was so much frustrating not to know. _Why would a warrior be so far of his place ? There are no more enemies to fight_. He knew something was up and he would discover what. « The reason you're here, it's because of what happened to you ? »

« …. » again this heavy silence, still turned form the other swordman « I have nowhere to go, as I am now. » _Disgrace. Monster. No more home would ever welcome you_.

« No home ? » his voice betrayed slightly his worry, just a tad of sadness.

« Haven't you seen what I look like ? No one would tolerate a creature like me ». this time he made eye contact, the blue glow even more distinct but he couldn't hide the desperation. _Murderer. Fratricide. Will never be safe again._ He smiled, the kind of sad grin used to reassure but it had the opposite effect.

« And me ? »

« What ? » Yasuo sounded quite confused. _Unforgiven_.

« I know I don't have much here but I accept you » as he announced that, the other seemed more puzzled than ever. Yi tried to make it clearer but it was difficult « You can stay here, if you want. »

The ronin took the time necessary to comprehend the offer because _who would knowingly shelter a bloodthirsty creature ?_

« You-You don't understand. You saw me ! I could kill you ! »

« But didn't you swear that you'd never hurt me ? I know you will not and even if it doesn't look like it, I know how to defend myself. »

« I know it ! I just don't want to risk your life. »

« Yasuo- » as he spoke, he reached for the man but a dark growl stopped him in his attempt and then the latter disappeared.

 _As fast as before._

Next day, he wasn't here. Master Yi didn't see him join the meditation nor the time of tea, the absence so much noticeable. If the woods seemed calm, it wasn't the case in the swordman heart, worry creeping slowly but surely. _I scared him away_ , he sighed.

And his concern increased with time, enough to get him trouble to sleep. _What happened to him ?_ Always the same question. _A kind of corruption ?_ It was the more plausible and yet it seemed so unrealistic that this man, the most honorable he met, could turn evil and flee his home. _But it makes sense, he would never harm peoples he knows so he had to run away_. The question remained the same. _What happened ?_

When he woke up, he knew Yasuo was back. His faint aura was near, a reminder of its owner, an ethereal presence yet a bit malicious. Still drowsy, the Wuju master made its way outside, greeted by the sight of the other man peacefully lying in the grass. As relief washed over him, he took a few cautious steps in his direction. _He's not wearing his mask.._.

« Good morning ! » said the ronin without moving, head tilted to look at him.

« Good morning to you. May I ask you where you went ? » as he sit next to the taller man.

« Hum, I cannot survive without blood. So... » he rose as he spoke, enough to sit properly.

« -you killed someone and took their blood till you're sated, that's it ? » again, he prefered to be clear, even if it was too harsh for the other man. _There is no use in hidding the truth with pretty words_.

As expected, it made the ronin wince and avert his gaze : « Yes. Not that I take any kind of enjoyment in it. » The little voice whispering again, _monster_.

« Of course no. » Difficult was the conversation, how to get answers without being too severe yet, he understood the demon, how much guilt was consuming him. _I know this too, my hands also are stained by blood_. Self-loathing was the only thing showing on the latter's face, a really human feeling in opposition to the corrupted nature. « Your guilt is a heavy burden but that's at least a thing we have in common. The origin of the blood on our hands may be different but it looks the same. »

Yasuo dared to look at him, a bit touched by the implicit confession. _Innocents or invaders, it will always be red once it's shed_. It sounded true and yet the guilt was still here. Though, to know that he wasn't alone bearing that weight gave him a twinge to the heart, the Wuju master looked also like he saw too much during the war. _Young face, tired eyes, soiled hands, all the same_.

Still rummaging in his thoughts, he didn't see coming the warm hand that cupped his jaw, so careful it could have been mistaken for tenderness. The same that wielded the sword supposed to cut him, the same hand that slapped him out of trance, the same that leaded him to this home _. Don't think about that !_ Between his mind running fast and his lack of understanding, he froze, staring blankly at the shorter man.

Yi kept his hand on him, thumb ghosting over the swordman's lips. His face didn't betray anything of his current thoughts as he asked : « Can you show me ? »

It was tempting for the ronin to lean into the touch, maybe the first one he experienced, as chaste as it was, instead he complied without really asking why and let the man see his fangs. The way he was observed, two green eyes staring at him with so much intent, trying to get answers all that brought red to his cheek and completely distracted him from their previous talk. Yasuo didn't dare to move and even if he could, he wouldn't have budged at all, taken off guard.

A white glint, fangs so sharp, no wonder how easy it could puncture flesh. This very thought made Master Yi shudder, _what could have transformed his body to this point ? This is the result of powerful magic_. While he continued his small observation, he felt under his touch that the ronin grew restless, exposed as he was. He withdrew, a part of him already regretting the short contact.

The taller man, now completely aware of what happened, felt the fleeting touch linger then disappear, leaving him a bit disappointed.

« Thank you. For letting me. »


	5. Chapter 5

This action, a contact not even supposed to mean anything awoke something in the ronin, something so difficult to describe, a strange kind of yearning. _No, it's different from the hunger_. The wanting was also different, as much needed but in a way that made his heart flutter. And it was hard to say what he needed. _Not blood. But what ?_ Like his fractured soul longed for another one, healthier, complete, to heal the wounds.

He wanted so much to chase that warmth, the touch, everything the shorter man would give to him. As he daydreamed of a tight embrace, he questionned this peculiar attraction to the man and the way it soothed him to stay by his side. The longer he sat next to him, stronger was the urge to reach for him, keep him close, _safe_. _The gods be damned, I'm already too deep into this_. Though, it sounded so unnatural to call this link love or even affection. _Am I still allowed to love ?_ The idea ran in his head, a bit too fast, while he observed the Wuju master, stuck in a state of embarrassment. Catching himself staring, Yasuo averted his gaze, concious of the red that tinted his face too. _Yeah, definitly falling for him_.

 _Why did I do that ?_

Master Yi couldn't miss the blush on the other's face and quickly came to understand how much it was inappropriate. _No wonder why he felt uncomfortable_. And yet the touch felt like burned on his fingerprints as he clenched his fist away.

He stood up and with hurried footsteps went to the small house, muttering : « I'll make some tea »

Because he didn't know what to say and facing the swordman after such a childish display was a challenge. _Better take a little break before I make a fool of myself further_.

He thought about it again, watching his hand like it would help him remember the soft skin, a bit chilly compared to his and the subtle move against his palm, an acceptance.

A soft chuffling followed him in the room, Yasuo now used to join him in these quiet moments and Yi didn't even have to turn around to hear him settle down.

« Is it too late for your offer ? » he asked casually when he was given a cup.

« What ? » since the demon had already said no before, he wasn't expecting him to accept and forgot it. « Oh, yes. You are still welcome under my roof. » Looking at him, he found a kind of determination in his eyes, resolute. « What explains this change of heart ? »

« Well, if I went out looking for blood, it was to avoid any... 'temptation'. I know I'm still dangerous but it's easier to control myself this way. Hurting you is the last thing I want to happen. » _But I cannot miss the chance to stay close_. He sounded as sure as he could, a hint of worry in his voice.

« As you wish. Don't fret about me, I perfectly know you will not do such things. » _Still scared of himself. I don't think it will go away_. It was saddening to see a man so confident years ago frightened of losing his control to the point of mistrust. « I trust you ».

The impact of these simple words was effective, if not unhoped-for. For the ronin, it was a real relief but also a stab of guilt. _Don't deserve it._ « This blind trust could get you killed. ».

« Listen, I'm fully aware of what you are, what you look like and what you might cause if you wanted to. I maybe don't know all you have done but whatever ? Since your arrival, you had plenty of occasion to kill me and yet you didn't. Have more faith in yourself ! »

The ronin couldn't say anything after such a speech, really surprised, the other man had a point. « You shouldn't bother for someone like me. » voice so low, a whisper.

« These times, I got a bit lonely. It's nice to have someone like you here so I don't mind at all. »

And the Wuju master grinned, in a way that warmed the other man's heart so much. _A sunshine.._.

The idea of welcoming another person thrilled internaly Yi. Indeed, he at last managed to keep him to stay and make another step in helping the swordman. _Yes, loneliness is terrible,_ he sighed.

After spending the rest of the day in meditation then chatting then meditation, instead of leaving as always, they went back home together and the domesticity of it was so pleasant for both.

His own room wasn't that spacious but it still could have one more bed. _Thanks the gods_. Yasuo observed the room like it was some sacred place he shouldn't have entered, even if it was furnished simply. His gaze fell on the blade, in a corner, as sharp as before and kept here with all the respect it deserved.

« Thank you. For the bed. » the swordman said as he undressed, staying only in his pants and the remains of his old confidence of a young man aware of his assets. _He's watching._ The light shudder ran up his spine, to know that he caught the other man's attention and feeling the burning gaze wandering over his body was both exciting and sweet. It amazed him to know he had an effect on him.

Master Yi didn't miss anything and almost forgot the latter's words, captivated when he took off his hair tie, allowing long strands of a dark red to cascade over his shoulders and down his back. A deep matching blush colored his cheeks when the ronin turned slightly to exchange a glance, making the shorter man turn away as quick. _Well done, blushing like a teenager_.

« It's nothing, really. Good night »

« Good night to you ! »

It was nice, thought the Wuju master, not to hear the usual silence, replaced by a soft breathing, the two men drifting slowly to sleep.

But after what looked like 2 hours, he was awaken by muffled noises. At first he thought that the ronin was also awake but in fact far from it. Yi rose and came to see, alarmed by the ragged breathing and the words that didn't make sense yet. The man was indeed asleep but restless, shifting again and again in the sheets. _A nightmare_. And his voice, even deeper than before, sounded so much like the demon he was despite himself. _Chased in his sleep. It looks so painful_...

He tried to wake him up but the latter merely stirred, too far and it was enough for the Wuju master to feel concerned.

« Yasuo » at first a quiet tone then louder when it didn't seem effective, grasping his shoulder and giving a gentle shake.

 _How could dreams impact this much a person ? It's nearly torture_. The fear, distress of the swordman was so strong he could feel it, sweat trailing down his face.

The ronin suddenly rose after a more vigorous shake, shouting : « Yone ! »

It reassured the shorter man to see him awake but he could tell something was off, just from the gasped name and wide eyes. He didn't notice the hand on his shoulder, staring with aversion at his own hands as panick washed over him. _It's worse._ It was like he wasn't there at all, Yasuo didn't hear him nor see him, just seized by horror.

 _He's dead and it's your fault. All these innocent peoples are dead and it's your fault. No redemption. No peace. Only blood on your hands._

He rubbed his hands, to keep it clean but the weight of guilt and imagined red stains wouldn't go away. A small hopeless sound made its way out, result of the breaking he was going through.

Breathing even less regular, he muttered : « It won't go away... »

The Wuju master was puzzled by his words : « What won't go away ? » and realization hit him hard like a stab. For anyone, it would be easy to make the difference but Yasuo was not only numb with sleep but also shock so it would explain the confusion. His own hair, long locks of a dark crimson, disheveled and falling over his shoulders and arms in a terrifying shade similar to blood. _Soaked in blood_.

It was urgent to get the ronin out of this crisis, as soon as possible. And since he wouldn't face him, Yi forced eye contact, hands keeping him from looking away. Though, he didn't resist and it allowed the swordman to see fully the fear reflected in his eyes.

« Yasuo ! » the latter went still « You're fine. Everything is fine. Calm down. » And this time, he recognized him. Yi could have sworn that the evil aura faded a little, leaving hurt and distress instead. « You're safe. »

« Yi » a name said in a breath, like it helped him make the difference between reality and his nightmares, feel human even an instant. _Safe ?_

This need of an anchor, a base to keep him away from the dark whispers, made itself known and without really thinking he embraced the Wuju master, stiffening in surprise. The closeness, warmth of another body was something the ronin experienced each time he drained another innocent from their life but this time didn't feel the same, he craved the contact and not the blood. His instinct urged him to press even closer instead of biting. _Safe._

The shorter man at first didn't dare to move but the increasing trembling of the broader frame he was trapped against made him hug back gingerly. Feeling his pounding heart quieten down was a victory but the latter didn't let him go, clutching him like his life depended of it. Yi sorta froze when Yasuo nuzzled against his neck, still the small fear even he trusted the other's words, but relaxed once it was clear he wouldn't harm him, face red after he realized the possible meaning of this unconcious gesture. His own heart started beating faster, another traitorious evidence that maybe he was becoming a bit too much fond of the demon. _Maybe, maybe. But what if... ?_

And here he was, uselessly overthinking while the ronin drifted back to sleep in his arms, lulled by Yi's hand caressing his back.


	6. Chapter 6

Next morning was far more peaceful, a ray of sunlight filtered by the window, waking the ronin. Not even bothering to open his eyes, he knew he had slept a lot more than usual but it was indeed welcome. He relished this moment and the tight embrace, to be held so dearly gave him a tranquility he hadn't find since his childhood.

Though, his mind still in a haze took a little time to register the position he actually was in and he almost jerked away in shock. _Yi ? What happened ?_ He could feel the claws of the nightmare from this night but the limit with his memories was a blur, a mix of pain, screams then quiet, when all stopped somehow. _It was him_. This eventually explained why he slept longer and without more trouble.

But he couldn't get over the fact he was curled up comfortably against the swordman and how it felt like he found his place. _Calm down, it's just a hug. But still.._. He thought that since he was already fucked, why not staying here and cuddle till the other man wakes up. _Damnit. He's going to kick me out of his room._ And yet he realized he didn't care that much, it was really worth it. So he reciprocated the embrace, close enough to taste the pale skin, leave a mark but it was a step he wasn't mad enough to take. _Though I wouldn't mind dying for this_. But it would also mean breaking his trust and this will never happen. The demon, still debating in his mind, didn't try to get more sleep, far too busy basking in the calm aura, at the rhythm of the slow breathing.

 _Oh, I fell asleep_. The Wuju Master just woke up, bit by bit but he couldn't miss the warm body really, really close to him. Memories from the night came back so he wasn't surprised this much to find himself in Yasuo's bed. Yet, he felt so embarrassed for enjoying the tight embrace the ronin visibly accepted in his sleep. _You're taking advantage of him !_ So he tried reluctantly to get out of the other's arms without disturbing his rest but he was met at first by a half-panicked noise and some resistance, the grasp locked around him.

« Not yet, please. » the demon expected the shorter man to argue and refuse but nothing came, just the chuffling noise when he made himself comfortable back on the bed. « Thank you »

Some time passed without any of them going back to sleep, Yi caressing idly the other man's hair while thinking. As much as he liked silence, they had to talk about what happened this night. _And this name_. But he knew it wouldn't be easy, the topic was surely linked to previous events and what he was already trying to discover about the ronin.

« Yasuo ? »

A low hum answered him, he had his attention. « What do you remember ? From this night. »

As expected, the latter didn't say anything immediately, maybe looking for his memories. Then at last : « Honestly ? I don't know. It's... not really clear... »

« Anything. Just tell me. »

« Obviously, I had a nightmare. »

« It happens often ? »

« Yes. Since the... » a slight tremor shook his voice before he stopped his words.

 _Here comes the problem._ « Since what ? When you got turned ? »

Yasuo nodded but didn't give more informations, keeping locked the embrace.

« Please. Talk to me. You're hurting yourself the same way than this night. » Yi tried to make him look up and what he found in his eyes was truly heartbreaking, a real inner conflict.

« I-I can't tell you. You already know enough. »

« All this is past, why can't you say what happened ? »

« Because if I do, you will chase me away ! »

This revealed a deep wound, still fresh and open and it left the Wuju master quite surprised. _Fear of rejection ?_ But at the same time, he could hardly suppress the feelings seizing his heart and a instinct of protection that came up. « I would never do this. Never. No matter what you did or said. » this reflex made him keep Yasuo even closer, without really thinking about it.

« I don't want you to hate me... » his voice definitely broke after this, barely a whisper in the more than tight embrace.

 _How could I ?_ « Listen, I'll not judge someone on past actions. What I see is that you regret what you did. » _And your guilt is killing you from the inside._ « Now, breathe. Just like that »

These words were as much for the ronin than for himself, both needed it. Yasuo complied, blinking away the few tears and relaxed under the touch, warm hand working the points of tension in his back.

He released a contented sigh that made Yi smile in return, happy for the small distraction he managed. Then he got an idea.

« Hey, Yasuo. What about a duel after we get up ? »

His eyes met an interested gaze, curious. « A duel ? »

« Yes. After all, I already saw you fight and I always wondered who would win. Also, training is really important for any kind of fighter. »

The spark it lit in his eyes was indeed satisfying to see. « Sounds good. I'm in ! »

« I'm glad to see so much enthousiasm. Hope you're as strong as your reputation says. »


	7. Chapter 7

Yi had thought that they would wait a little but it wasn't counting Yasuo's cheer impatience to prove himself, something close to the zeal of a youngster. After a quick breakfast, they chose to go outside, a large area of grass ahead of the house. Yasuo gazed at the Wuju master's sword, both impressed and nervous _the last time he used it, it was supposed to kill me_. This blade wasn't a good reminder for him, even less for his evil part, the one hissing at the mere sight of the weapon. _The purpose of his blade had always been good._

Still, he was so happy to have this opportunity to cross swords with such a good warrior. During the war, he had a glimpse of Yi's skill but it was nothing compared to a real fight.

« Ready ? »

That was all it needed to start, a clash of steel resonnating in the village. From an external point of view, it would easily seem like dance, at the rhythm of the blows.

There was no real mistakes, each one waiting for a good occasion to win the fight but they could only appreciate how much their skills were as equal. It has been a long time since they got a worthy opponent.

Then, it happened, a small opening in the ronin's defence, just enough for Yi to take advantage of it and put him down, preventing him of getting up with his blade just under his chin.

« Dead » his previously serious face left place to a smile « Not bad at all, I have no problem understanding how you made it alive after the war. »

Yasuo didn't know what to think of the clear display of dominance, his own hurt ego against the inner shiver for being under the other man. Yes, he lost, it hadn't happened for years but it wasn't really humiliating, in the same way of a student bested by his master. _I might learn a few things from him_.

Yi offered him a hand to stand, which he accepted, thankful. « That was really tied. Want to try another one ? » the smirk was only to push the demon to accept again the challenge and he wasn't disappointed by the eager nod.

He already lost when he was younger, even if he knew himself more skilled than most of the warriors of his school. But this time was the very first were he was outmatched by someone quicker than him. All their duels ended the same way, another defeat for him but each time for a different reason, not fast enough, defence too weak. But it didn't discourage him and the ronin tried his best again and again.

Master Yi didn't hold back, by principle and after all, there was no need to go easy on the other man who proved his strenght in no time. It was also satisfying for him to see that he wasn't rusty and was perfectly able to kick someone's ass.

By the 5th duel, Yasuo ended up knocked down on the grass again, accepting his defeat with a sigh but still grinning. « Ok, I got it. You win. »

« You fought good. I think we can both take a break. »

He placed his blade down and sat near the demon, at last relaxing after this quite intensive training while the latter stayed where he was. They didn't do much, enjoying the quiet moment at watching the few clouds drifting in the sky. The Wuju Master reached to carress idly the ronin's hair, who welcomed happily the attention after the at-first surprise. _Like a cat_ , the thought made him smile.

« Yi ? »

« Mmmh ? »

« What happened to the village ? It's in ruins except your house. » he send a puzzled gaze to him and noticed the sadness that struck him.

« Noxus. » like this simple word was an answer in itself and yes it truly was for Yasuo. « I wasn't here when they attacked the village, I was away, fighting. » _Why did you go to war ? Why did you left us ?_

The ronin was definitly listening, feeling the pain in the voice relating the not so surprising story.

 _We didn't want to fight this war !_

« When I came back, once the war over, the village wasn't as destroyed as you can see it now. » words seemed to get stuck in him, difficult to hear.

 _You abandoned us ! Just to shed more blood and feel like a war hero !_

« I don't know what they did exactly, what kind of weapon they used but the fews that were still alive became crazy, some sort of poisonous nightmare in their veins, to the point where they couldn't recognize me and died in the most atrocious way »

 _EVERYONE IS DEAD BUT YOU_

« Being the only one who left to fight, I was also the only one alive after the massacre. » when he thought he would break and let it out, Yi found himself in Yasuo's arms without even noticing him move.

They didn't talk at all, one because he couldn't trust his own voice, the other because he didn't know which words use to express his compassion and shared pain with the man he embraced.

Actions said more than words.


	8. Chapter 8

Master Yi was thankful for the ronin's action and even more for the silence, though he shouldn't have. _I don't deserve this_. He considered he was the one supposed to help the other and give him comfort. _Our burdens are different, he needs someone to share it_.

When night came, he could truly feel the weight of his guilt lifted, temporary maybe but still a relief much appreciated.

For the second time, Yasuo followed him to his room with the same unsure step, even if he knew he was welcome here.

« Just one thing. Would you like me to sleep with you ? I mean, if it helps calming your nightmares. » he hated how this ask came out, really awkward and feared the answer.

The demon paused, a surprised expression on his face as he didn't know what to answer to this peculiar offer. « Yes ? » he was trying not to think of what this sentence would signify, if their relationship was something else and in other circumstances. _Just stop thinking_. Because for once this kind of thought wasn't from his corrupted nature but the still human part of him and it saddened him to see that it didn't change from his youth.

So he sent this thoughts away and managed a proper answer : « How could I say no ? You're not wrong, last night it was indeed helpful. But don't feel like you have to. »

« If I can do something so you have a good rest, I'll do it. It's not bother. » he gestured toward the bed, an invitation.

« Thank you » he said and he meant it as much as each previous time, while he settled down and started to undress for the night.

This time, Yi averted his gaze an instant, not sure he would resist to the open sight of the half naked swordman.

It's once they got both under the blanket that it hit him. _This was a mistake_. From such a close distance, the Wuju master couldn't miss anything, the slow breathing rhythm, the scar on his nose, the warmth of another body. _Why did I face him ?_ Changing side would be rude so he just stayed this way, forcing himself to relax for something he hadn't been prepared to. _Foolish_.

What he ignored was the almost identical state of mind of the demon, asking himself how he could feel both relaxed and hyper-aware of their position. _I should have think twice_. He really enjoyed being right here but at the same time, it was too much. This time, no nightmare to distract him from the presence.

By his strange senses, he knew the other man wasn't asleep and still trying to. So he took a (badly) calculated risk and hugged him, an arm traveling to the swordman's waist then staying in is back to coax him closer.

It was a bold move but the other didn't seem to reject him nor showed any sign of discomfort.

Blank. Yi's brain just shut down for a small moment when found himself again pressed to the ronin's chest. What went through his mind next wasn't clear, a mix of utter shock and relief. But soon enough the cuddle soothed him, enough to hope for some rest. He even returned it, chuffling closer the demon and it felt like a victorious reward for the latter.

Yasuo was glad to be useful to the man who gave him so much, to return the safety offered. _This night gonna be good._

He kept him close to his heart. _Safe._


	9. Chapter 9

« Yasuo »

Right now, he didn't know where he was, or maybe still in bed. Any way, he felt good, like it couldn't be allowed, a languid warmth flowing by waves through his body.

« Yasuo... »

He looked up and it was like he could only see the man above, whose voice couldn't be mistaken. The ronin realized that this familiar presence had been here for a while, he just didn't notice before. His eyes drank the sight with a rare thirst : the Wuju master, straddling him like he was meant to be here, his clothing just loose enough to catch a glimpse of the sculpted chest. And his gaze, _his eyes..._ Looking straight at him and yet such a fond gaze that only fueled the fire in him.

« Yi... ? » The name turned into a moan when the latter rolled his hips, a delicious friction against his crotch. _How this is happening ?_ He was confused beyond words, far too tempted to surrender without resistance.

Like reading his mind, the swordman resumed the languorous pace and answered : « Why are you so afraid to take something that's given freely to you ? Stop thinking too much. » His eyes never left the demon's as he grinded down on his hardening cock, already too far gone to repress his urges.

After all, why would he resist to it ? What was the point ? His own body couldn't take more, following the best he could the pace, _it's been too long_.

Yi took his hand previously on his waist and led it to his own arousal, still maintaining eye contact. The ronin couldn't miss the erection under his touch and stroke him lightly unconsciouly, smitten.

« See ? You want this as much as I. » the shade of red coloring his cheek betrayed his want. « Stop denying yourself. » and he punctuated his sentence with an openly loud moan.

This was the last straw, Yasuo gave into his need and bucked under the man, seeking the warmth, the acceptance.

Except, it stopped. Sleep abandonned him and all came back, memories and awareness. His eyes flew open with the realisation of his situation and the not forgotten burn of shame. During the night the other man rolled on his other side, keeping his back to the demon's chest and it seemed to have an unlucky effect on Yasuo's craving for contact. From an external point of view, it would seem like a peaceful spooning but in fact far from it.

And though he knew he really fucked up this time, his body wouldn't stop grinding against his bedmate. He was desperate for a good release but the last remains of his reason screamed the contrary. So he unlocked the embrace and in a hurry got out of the bed, hoping that the Wuju master didn't wake up. _He's gonna kill me if he finds out_. He managed a sneaky exit to get some fresh air.

It's only once he was gone that the latter dared to move and let out the breath he was holding.

Just a few hours after falling asleep, Yi was already awake and quite unhappy about it. _Well, at least, one of us is getting some rest_. His thoughts wouldn't make him the favor to stay quiet, still rummaging the last things he learned about his guest.

Though he wans't anymore facing him, he felt the ronin shuffling slowly toward him, lacing his arms around his torso, literaly snuggled up to him in a way too precious to forget. _Cute_.

That's when he noticed the hardness now pressed to his ass, with no misunderstanding possible. _Oh_. And at his surprise, it didn't bother him that much. _It happens_. But his cock gave an interested twitch anyway, a bit too pleased by the incident. _No, don't think about things like this_.

If it was difficult before for him to get some sleep, now it was totaly impossible, with the ronin bucking against him in who-knows-what kind of wet dream. And he couldn't move. At all. The more the latter got into it and chased the friction, the more difficult it was for the Wuju master to keep himself from making any noise. Yi would never have guessed how much it turned him on, the impact of the devilish man behind him got upon him without even knowing it.

Then his grasp on sanity almost gave up when his own name was whimpered near his ear, a muffled noise that made heat pool lower in his body. _Did he really...?_ It was the best thing he heard for a long time but at the same time it raised a new question. _He wants me ?_

He ached for touch but he refused to indulge his need, not here, not when the man he desired was helplessly seeking relief from him. _By the gods, what kind of torture is this ?_

The pace set by the ronin grew erratic and with it the noises both made, soft sighs and hushed groans. But before the latter could reach his end, he froze. Yi's blood ran cold, really aware that he was now awake. Not even an instant after, Yasuo got to his feet, breaking the contact and it broke a little the Wuju master's heart. With great difficulty, he remained still, trying to seem like sleeping to avoid more troubles.

He could relax once the swordman was gone, still not over what just happened. His body too, since he was still hard and aching for attention. So he gave up, taking himself in hand and hoped that the latter wouldn't come back soon. Yi wanted his thoughts to stop following the demon but he failed sweetly.


	10. Chapter 10

The fresh air of the night felt like a benediction on his skin, a shock compared to the flames burning within him. Yasuo was quite reluctant to go, his body yearning a long waited release but he would never take advantage of Yi. _I have to go away for now_.

Not a single glance to the quiet night, the sleepy landscape under the stars, even though he was able to see in the dark. He just wanted to put as much distance with the other man as possible, till he calmed down. His steps brought him to the edge of the woods so he settled down, recovering his breath while he went back on the incident of the night. _What was I thinking ?_

 _It's a miracle he didn't wake up._

But the gods weren't so merciful, his arousal catching up with his body and reminding the previous pleasure found in the not so unlucky situation. The ronin thought he was really cursed, not even human and still a slave to the most unnecessary instincts. So here he was, sitting against what must have been the foundations of a house, pitifully turned on by the most honorable man he knew.

The pressure on his crotch quickly became unbearable and he seeked a bit of relief by cupping his erection through his clothing. The wanton moan it elicited wasn't expected at all, the demon realizing how sensitive he was. _When was the last time ?_

No matter how much he tried to keep his thoughts away from his host, he failed miserably, coming back to the memories, real or not, each touch given by the Wuju master. _There is no turning back_. Taking his aching member in hand, he whimpered from the chilly shock upon his hot skin. Yasuo left his mind wander, supplying a continuation to his dream without any hope to stop it. To imagine the swordman on his knees, pleasuring him with his mouth, two fingers deep inside the ronin, working him with care and accuracy. And he would have this praising gaze, looking at him like Yi always did, like he trusted him, to the point of intimacy.

He was beyond shame, the promise of climax was stronger than his inhibitions now reduced to ashes. _Forgive me Yi_. He stroke his cock harder, his hand slicked with precum gliding at the rhythm of the fantasized attention. The demon knew he was a mess but for a short moment he let his body do as it pleased and give into his human needs.

« Ah- ! » without any care for his surroundings, he moaned as he pushed even lower his pants, just enough to trail his non busied hand to his entrance. A single circling made his gasp, only punctuation among his groans and heavy breath in the literaly dead silent village. Yasuo didn't even thought about muffling his noises, too far gone.

He reached his peak when at last he slipped in a dry digit, the sudden pain mixing with pleasure in a strange cocktail that sent him over the edge. He cried out Yi's name, once again, for this man hadn't left his thoughts during the whole thing.

It's only a few minutes later, once silence was back and with it the noises of night and a very far owl, that he recovered from this much needed orgasm. _The first in …. what, years ?_ Till then, he thought the hunger for blood had totaly replaced his carnal desires but it seemed that the curse wouldn't let him in peace and prefered to fuck him literaly. With time also came the shame, gone temporary but coming back with a vengeance, as unpleasant as his semence soiling his hand.

The ronin felt guilty for lusting after the other swordman, even if he was aware that the latter may reciprocate such desires for him, given the staring when he thought he wasn't looking. But again, he wasn't sure of nothing, it would be too risky to make an offer to the Wuju Master.

There was another matter, Yasuo's feelings were something he wasn't sure how to handle, increasing as time passed at the side of the other man. I _n the better case, he may indeed want me but would never love me. It's impossible._

He sighed, wiping his hand clean then considered his options at the moment. He wanted so much just to go back to Yi's room without him noticing then try to sleep but it didn't seem a good idea. _Fuck it, I'm going back_. So he did, being as sneaky as possible.

In the room, he saw that his bedmate had changed of side in his sleep, facing the ronin when he crawled back under the blanket. Waiting for sleep to claim him, he could watch the latter without trouble of getting caught, eyes following his jaw, the light stubble then, lost in the momentum, his hand hovered over his cheek, not daring to touch.

His gaze lingered a bit too much on the Wuju master's lips, enough to light the urge to kiss him. _No, it wouldn't be right_. Anyway, he leaned and instead gave a light peck on the cheek, something sweet that the latter would never hear about nor remember. _A last sacrilege for this night_.

Yasuo found rest rather quickly, with a heavy burden upon his soul but soothed nervertheless by the familiar presence, warm to his side.


	11. Chapter 11

_Did he know I was awake ?_

No, this didn't seem right. The last minutes played again and again in the Wuju master's head and arousal wouldn't let his mind in peace. His own name being said so close to him had more effect over him than the whole situation but also the fact that the ronin nearly got off on him, as indecent it may be. An even more embarrassing thought came, wondering what would have happened if the demon didn't wake up or if he did wake and decided to continue despite everything. _If shame could kill a man, I'd be dead and burried_.

It was too late for him. Yi stroked his erection harder, chasing a quick end before the other swordman could come back. It was maddening how easy it was to reach climax, how his own body reacted so eagerly to the smallest touch, all this because of the previous teasing he endured. As last remain of reason, he kept his left hand over his mouth to prevent any loud moan from betraying his situation, though this task was difficult as hell.

 _Imagine... if there was no clothes between us_. Then the ronin would have fucked him, without any doubt, a determined pace sufficent to reduce him into a needy mess. Yes, the Wuju master would have liked that, even if admitting it darkened the flush already painting his face and shoulders. _One more sin will not hurt, I'm already condemned_.

Orgasm came too soon but that was all he asked, staying the more quiet he could as climax shook his frame by powerful waves. His only regret at the moment was not being with the demon, wanting nothing more than human contact. Though it wasn't quite comfortable since he spilled in his pants, the after glow made it difficult to care, sleep numbing his mind.

The rest of the night wasn't better than the begin, the man stuck in a state between sleep and awake that made the difference with dreams and reality even more confusing. By some time, Yi was half aware of Yasuo's presence just in front of him, surely he had got on his right side meanwhile. R elief washed over him and all seemed like he would at least get some good rest. He sensed a fleeting touch upon his skin, which he didn't mind at the moment, it was extremely soothing. Then lips, warm against his cheek, a gesture so loving that it made feelings bloom in his chest as he drifted back to sleep.

Morning came and with it some birds songs as sun peeked through the trees. Once again, the Wuju master found himself in the other's arms, face almost completely pressed to the ronin's chest and kept here by a quite loose embrace. He shifted a bit to go for a nap but froze at the realization that he had to get cleaned up. _Oh shit I forgot_. As he tried to get out of the bed without troubling Yasuo's rest, he swore again at the uncomfortable sensation of his dried shame. He put back the blanket on his sleepy guest than walked away for a shower.

In a strange way, as disgusting he felt, it also reminded him of the whole night, the 'incident' with the demon. _It wasn't a dream_. Now his mind was calm, he couldn't get over the fact that he had responded with such eagerness to the man's both irresistible and unconcious display. _Did he really say my name ?_ He wasn't sure, everything was a blur. He asked himself why care about that, why give it so much importance. _I don't know.._. Maybe just because he felt wanted, in a way that he never experienced before.

As water washed away the evidences of the night, Yi thought about the last touch given by the swordman, _the kiss_. For this particular thing, he wasn't sure at all if it really happened, since he was still in Morpheus's arms. But anyway it felt burned on his flesh and however it was real or not, he would cherish it forever. He blinked at this development, _this is a bit too far for 'just a friend'_. The familiar feeling warming his chest wasn't new, he felt it often and the nights he shared with the Unforgiven, it nearly burned him from the inside. _It's love, isn't it ?_ This seemed far beyond simple lust, for the first man he encountered since the war. _No, he's much more than that_. The Wuju master couldn't deny that the increasing beat of his heart was for the demon.

But would he do something about it ? No. _Yasuo's needs someone to share his burden, to heal his wounds, not some useless feelings_.

Now cleaned up, he dressed with fresh clothes and looked in his room, to see if his guest was awake. He wasn't, Yasuo was still deep asleep so Yi decided to leave him alone for now and went to make himself breakfast.

At his great surprise, the ronin joined him in the kitchen a few times later, while he was cooking. He hadn't yet have the time to turn and look at him, the latter embraced him from behind, resting his chin on Yi's shoulder.

« Mmmmh » his voice was still rough, a deep grumble « Sorry, did I wake you up ? » at this non-distance, Yasuo could really appreciate how short the latter was compared to him. _Oh no it's cute_.

After all he thought about when he was in the shower, this made the Wuju master go blank for a small second before he remembered the ask. « No, don't worry. I was already awake and I had something to do. Did you sleep well ? » he was curious to hear what the swordman had to say about the night.

« Hum yes, it was nice » his voice betrayed a something, hidden under the carpet and that was all the latter needed to know. Yi turned, twisting the embrace, to look at the man and indeed there was a faint pink coloring his cheek.

 _Not the only one_.


	12. Chapter 12

The days that followed, the 'incident' was completely forgotten or to the least, avoided. The usual chatting filled the place conveniently enough not to talk about it. The only thing that changed was the supplementary care of the ronin when it was time to go to sleep, keeping his back toYi in a faint hope that it would prevent anything in the night. Though he didn't voice it, the latter understood his move and the reason behind it but after all this, he remained a bit sad.

But he also saw that no matter how hard Yasuo tried to keep a reasonable contact without sacrificing his own craving for closeness, they would always end up tangled together in a tender embrace when morning came. It was why the Wuju master didn't worry too much about it, because on the end both would get what they deeply wanted and cuddle in the quiet noises of the nature waking up.

A few times Yasuo left rather quickly draped in his own shame, blaming himself for being so sensitive to the mere touch of another man. He was truly grateful for Yi not bringing up this subject or even asking what was the matter. In these times, Yasuo would stay outside to calm in the fresh air or take a shower, willing his pent-up yearning away in the icy water.

Anyway, Yi knew his struggle, or at least thought he knew what was up to the ronin. But what he took for raw sexual desire was also hiding a more personal longing that wouldn't be confessed by fear of rejection.

And among these nights, there were the ones Yi hated, when the demon was out to hunt some fresh blood. Besides the idea of making Ionia one corpse richer every time, it stung to be alone again, a stark contrast which proved his growing need of Yasuo's presence. Torn between his solitude and his worry for the man, he got less sleep and it provided him more time to imagine the worst to happen. _What if he got caught ?_ This specific fear of what would happen in his absence wasn't young, it never left him since he went to war and till then, it always hurted him.

Enough to get him out of bed one night, scared for Yasuo's life to the point of insomnia. He wanted to go out get him home, to be sure and several times he took his blade with the clear aim to find him and make sure he was safe. But each time he handed it, the same thought came back : _I'm supposed to trust him. He won't die. He will come back_. So he just sat on the small terrace and waited in the deafening quietness of the forest.

This night, Yasuo came back to the village with his heart heavy with guilt and his body restaured again as always but was met by a peculiar sight in this pitch black night. He was aware that Yi never found sleep easily when he was gone – he saw the tiredness not even concealed – but it was indeed a surprise to find the latter asleep on the terrace, like he had tried to wait his return. The demon was about to get him to bed but he woke up the man and found a worn out gaze filled with relief. When at last Yasuo got both of them under the blanket, he was in the incapacity of turning his back to Yi, who was pressed to him, keeping their hands entwined as anchor.

A last whisper in the dark : « Thank you. »


	13. Chapter 13

To leave one night like a thief wasn't for the demon's liking. To flee the village like the criminal he was, only to sate his thirst, it annoyed him. For each night he abandonned Yi to solitude, his heart ached more.

He would have prefered to go during the day but he was less likely to find troubles at night. Now it was so easy to slip into the darkness with only clue of his passage a quiet breeze. But he always kept an eye for his possible pursuers. _It's been a quite long time since the last fool_.

Despite himself, each drop of blood he could get was sweeter than the previous and the craving never stopped, only put to sleep for days. And the pool of his regrets was never left wanting, one day got its own burden, its own soul taken, its own drained body on the ground.

The return to the village would seem easier with the relieved feeling warming his chest but it twisted his insides when he thought of the new bloodshed. There was nothing to be proud of and he feared that one day the Wuju master would chase him away for this.

To present himself under the emerald eyes, soiled and corrupted as he was, would always leave him afraid of the judgement but each time it had turned instead into a soft gaze, like there was still hope for him. That was why he always came back, for the thin hope he had, this frail spark he couldn't maintain alone. _I need him_.

The night he came back to the unsuspected sight of his host sleeping on the hard wood of the terrace, he had no issues to get rest, his heart warmed by the unsuccesful attempt. _Someone waiting for me. Without a doubt Yi is the only one that would_.

Yasuo took extra care that he found some well deserved rest, not even daring to turn away from the embrace.

Yi was still sleeping when the ronin left their shared bed. By now, he could say that after his hunts, he would always be the first awake. It wasn't a matter. Though he didn't know yet what he could do while waiting. Bored, he came back to the room as quiet as possible looking for the few books kept there. Yasuo picked one and stayed there to read.

For a time, there was nothing but silence as a ray of sun peeked through the window. Sometimes Yi made a noise in his sleep, not loud but each time Yasuo looked up and let his gaze linger here a bit. The impression he got from this little scene, this peaceful morning, was really close to his childhood, when nothing mattered except family. _My new home. For now_. No he shouldn't think of what was next, what could happen. Yasuo prefered to enjoy this time here as much as he could. The mere idea of leaving tasted sour, now that he had found a sweeter life. Sighing at his thoughts wandering a bit far, he focused back on the book.

Blood. On his hands. Too much. The remnants of life slipping away from the body he held close. _No no no..._ Wide eyes clouded by death, stilling forever.

Not long before he was left with a corpse in his arms. The last victim of the poison. The last one.

It took them 3 days to die. More than most of the people of the village, if that wasn't unlucky.

It was funny, wasn't it ? How this brave soul came back from the fights only to be met by another carnage. Not one he caused, of course. He had his deal already of macabre sights but this one was the least expected.

So tragic. Instead of cheer smiles and relieved looks, he was welcomed by a dead home and corrupted smell.

The small hope to find spared lifes was crushed without mercy. There were a few ones, still breathing the foul air but soon enough it was clear there was no remedy to their condition.

Poison running in their veins, the spark of life was still here but definitly fading bit by bit. But the worst damage wasn't inflicted to the body but to the mind, a blur turning the sense of reality to dust. Where one would remember and see family, friend, they saw the ennemy, rationnal thoughts twisted by their slow agony.

 _« GET AWAY FROM ME »_

He did try to soothe the ache, to help, to heal, anything but couldn't, kept at distance. The only time he could reach for them was too late, strenght reduced to nothing, they weren't even able to push him away, cursing him with their last breath.

How funny. Who was the real ennemy then ?

They died. One after the other. Till he was the only one left in a village ruled by silence. Blood on his hands. Not his, of course. Their blood. The blood of his village. _Blood. Always. Too much._

The air was barely bearable. Still on his knees, not feeling at all, he stayed here.

Then came his own sort of poison : his thoughts. The ones deep ingrained. _Noxus. It's because of them. Their fault_.

No one else would have done it.

 _Noxus_

A stupid invasion. Thousands of deads. Not only ionian, noxian blood also soaked these lands.

 _Noxus..._

Here it was. Hatred. It burned him, more than his loyalty to Ionia. Oh yes the hatred. It consumed him, fueled by the dispair of the fresh loss. Hatred for this nation that took its pleasure in a bloodbath.

 _They will pay for this_

Something else was at work, the insidious pain. An open wound to his heart, too raw to even try to close it.

He couldn't hold it back anymore. What was the point to hide his pain now that there was no one to hide it from. He felt sick, of the air, the blood, the silence, everything. In a second, he stood and ran.

He ran. So ironic. He, who was so fast to run to the war, the quickest warrior, couldn't get back soon enough to the village. He was too late and didn't know it till he went back home.

He wasn't even sure why he ran, where he was going. Maybe he was after Noxus, the guilty. He kept running, in the woods. Till he lost his breath, muscles sore, steps more difficult. He just wanted to stop feeling, to avoid the searing pain, the emptiness spreading to his soul.

His legs gave up, as he flinched and fell. In a helpless resort, he casted his thoughts away and focused on the hatred. It seemed easier. Staring at his hands, still painted with crimson. _Noxus_. The pain dulled a bit by the flames. _It's their fault. They deserve to die_.

Something grabbed his shoulder. Someone.

 _Kill_.

 _Again ?_

This time, Yasuo stopped reading. He hadn't counted but now he was fully listening. Yi had made another sound in his sleep and it caught his attention.

 _Something is wrong_.

Yi was breathing fast, more than one in a quiet rest. He shifted on his side, back turned to Yasuo who noticed the latter gripping the blanket. That was enough to worry. _Nightmares ?_

He came closer to the bed. « Yi ? » at first a whisper then again but louder.

From here he could see how the latter was clutching the sheets, mumbling in short distress.

 _That's enough_.

It pained Yasuo to see him like this so he reached for him. A single touch, hand on his shoulder to give a light shake. In one second, he got an afterthought, when he was pinned down by a half-awake Yi, a hand to his throat. _Help_. _This is how I die_.

In his panick, Yasuo brought his hands to Yi's to prevent any damage but in fact it was useless. He didn't move at all, his grasp more than weak on the ronin's throat. Yasuo hadn't missed the stare and surely he wouldn't forget it. So much venom, directed right at him. He didn't dare to breath under such gaze, innerly fearing for his own safety. _I did something wrong ?_

But while he freaked out, the stare changed and it turned more confused and tired. On top of that, Yasuo felt the other trembling, frame over him shaking oh so slightly. Yi's breathing evened, trying to find a bit of control back.

Despite the difficult situation, Yasuo couldn't deny how it turned him on to be right here, clearly dominated. _He could kill me. Fuck_.

« Are you OK ? » he still tried, not expecting an answer.

It made Yi drawing back his hand, in a gesture similar to a burn, and he completely moved away, taking some distance. This was a stark contrast to their previous position and Yasuo blinked before registering all that.

The other looked restless, seemingly not over the night yet as he averted purposely his gaze.

Yasuo rose : « You don't want to talk about it ? » he reached again, this time more carefuly.

Yi shook his head to the negative but accepted nevertheless the touch. Taking this for a yes, Yasuo came closer to offer the possibility of a hug.

But Yi prefered to take his hand in a shy grasp, intertwined. Then he leaned in Yasuo's space, just a bit, and rested his head against his shoulder. _Fine fine fine. This is fine_. It felt a little different from their last embraces but still the same craving for contact. If not for his increasing pulse.

In a small reflex, he squeezed back Yi's hand and the light laugh that followed made him wish for more. _If only_.


	14. Chapter 14

_Hurt. Kept behind a thick veil of hate_.

Yasuo played again and again the memory of that morning in his head. For sure, he liked the fuzzy warmth settling in his chest when he thought of the small affection showed after. But he couldn't forget that gaze.

The nightmare must have been terrible. Something serious, without a doubt linked to Yi's past. As much as the reflex was spectacular, it also revealed the violence the latter experienced. _All is a matter of equivalence_. For a man seeking reasons before actions, it was more than unnatural to jump directly on the more extreme answer, attack.

Yasuo considered all this but he wouldn't try to get an explanation. After all, himself refused to tell more about his own tragedies. He sighed.

 _A deadly gaze_. This was supposed to be the last thing he saw before he died, if he was Yi's ennemy. Enough to run a shiver down his whole frame.

After this incident, the usual banter came back as quick. Yasuo would have expected some time to pass, allowing Yi to get over this event but it seemed that he didn't need it. A bit too much, if it was possible. Once again, he avoided completely the subject, with quite ease. Back to his calm self, nothing to worry about.

As they were sitting in the kitchen, sharing dinner, Yasuo felt a bit this silence. The unsaid. It stung to know that Yi suffered, maybe was still suffering but he wouldn't even acknowledge it. But it was also Yasuo's fault. He wouldn't push further the other man about this matter.

Then he noticed.

A presence. Not in the house but outside. In the village. It was really faint but impossible to miss.

« Someone is there. » he said it, maybe he thought out loud.

« Really ? » Yi's ask was quick, taking him seriously. Just a few seconds ago he saw Yasuo still, like in concentration.

« Yes. Outside. » he was sure. There was another person, alive, he could tell. « But you said you were the only one living here ? »

There was some tension in the air. _Not safe_.

« No one is supposed to come here. Everyone is already dead. » Yi's tone proved the urgence of the situation.

Despite everything, that last sentence fell heavily in Yasuo's heart. But they had to move. The stranger wasn't yet a threat but they should be ready.

Yi stood and went to his room, taking his blade without a second-thought. He was followed immediatly by the ronin, looking for his own weapon. _Just in case_. He paused an instant and reached for his mask, though it was odd to wear it now that he was used not to. When Yasuo went to go back and see outside, he stopped again as he turned to Yi. The latter had been watching him and he didn't stop once found out. No words but a curious gaze, a sort of pain with melancholy.

From his point of view, Yi saw the glance, cold as ice as some result of the mask. It scared him a little. Now he faced the demon and not the man anymore.

Yasuo broke the instant, opening the door to step outside and find the intruder.

His steps were followed by Yi, who took the lead without leaving much choice to Yasuo. Alert, blade ready. Looking at him, it reminded the ronin of something else. _Ha. The last intruder was me._ He felt a bit sorry for the other person.

With cautious but sure steps, the duo made its way in the village. Yasuo's senses urged him further in one direction.

Then they found someone. A man, the first thing both could tell. And immediatly the latter noticed the two warriors, hand going to his blade.

There was a few second where the three of them just stared at each other, assessing the situation.

 _A samurai. Not from the island_ , Yi deduced. It was rather uncommon to meet outsiders, especially here. The village was kept safe in the mountains for a reason. _How did he find this place ?_

His armor reminded him of Yasuo's, a clue he didn't miss. He sighed mentaly. _Not so well hidden if strangers can stumble on the village._

Something passed through the features of the intruder then his stance changed to defence. He drew his blade, defiant. _This will not end well_.

« Yasuo » it wasn't a shout but the heavy silence of the place made it louder than intended.

Yi heard Yasuo take a step, reaching him. Hand still on his own weapon, ready to fight back. _So he recognized him. Even with the mask ?_

« I'm here to make you pay for your crimes. Be ready and face it if you still have an ounce of honor left. » his stare showed a rare kind of disgust. Then he turned slightly to Yi : « Back off, you have nothing to do with this. »

The ways of justice in Ionia were various but it was never good to interfere. Yi didn't want to comply though. Even if he wasn't one for disrespecting laws, his first thought would be to protect his guest. The heart got its own reasons.

But in the end he didn't have to make a quick decision when Yasuo spoke up : « I didn't kill Elder Souma ! When will you stop chasing me ? »

 _That's new._

Yi didn't budge an inch, making a clear show of his determination to stay between Yasuo and his pursuer. At the same time he was at loss. Several informations arrived at once, without him knowing a bit of it. _What to do ?_ Yi opted for the only reasonable thing, wait and see. But if there was any sort of fight starting, he wouldn't hesitate to get involved and spill blood. _If he dares to harm Yasuo..._

Out there, the tension increased. The samurai laughed in feigned amusement : « They told me you wouldn't cooperate, under the lie of innocence. » then he went serious again, words tinted with venom : « Stop denying it ! If you weren't guilty then why would you have fled ? Only cowards refuses to face their trial. »

Yasuo made another step, intimidating : « I didn't kill him ! For staying after his death I would only have been taken down and stripped of my honor ! »

« You have no honor ! You murdered your own master ! Only a matter of time before you joined Noxus. »

It escalated quickly. Yi saw Yasuo's self-control crumble slowly but surely. _That's what the other wants_. Nothing made sense for him now but he had to keep in check the ronin. _If he's the one attacking first he will give a reason to fight back_.

He grasped Yasuo's shoulder : « Keep calm. Replying with steel would only prove him right. » the light shaking under his hand wasn't a good sign. At all.

« You're interfering in a matter beyond you. For the last time, if you don't stay aside, you will be charged with complicity. » the intruder's tone seemed more neutral when adressed to Yi, just disdain.

Yi kept Yasuo in his reach, making sure he wouldn't do something foolish. « If I may, you're the one that disrupted the peace of these lands, in a more than hostile way. You talk of justice but you don't even let Yasuo a chance to defend himself from these accusations. For someone following orders, you seem really eager to see blood pour today. Lackey. » the last insult thrown without much more than a cold tone and a sigh. _Two can play this game_.

Maybe the samurai expected another answer, more agreeable. Maybe the ice in those words burned a bit his patience. In either case, he paused and tilted slightly his head : « So you take his side. Tell me, what lies did he drowned you in for you to make this poor choice ? He presented himself as a martyr, didn't he ? Or he completely avoided mentioning his past ? »

« He told me enough. The rest of the decision is common sense. » Yi didn't like the turn taken by it. Talking back to this man was wearing. _A man armored with honor but speaking like a snake._ Yi felt the turmoil within Yasuo, dangerous.

The latter spoke again to the accused : « So he doesn't know. » a disbelieving laugh echoed one instant, as he pointed at Yi with his blade. « That's exactly what I said, you're a coward fleeing the truth ! »

« I am not ! » Yasuo raised his voice again, now with renewed anger. He pulled a bit on Yi's grasp, in an attempt to go forward.

« Yasuo, stop. » Yi still wanted to keep a bit of control over the situation but he knew all could go wrong at the smallest slip.

« What part did you 'forget' to tell ? The dozens of innocents folks you killed across Ionia ? Or worse, the fact that you fed yourself of them ? As the disgusting blood-sucker you are. »

« Shut up ! » Yasuo struggled under Yi's touch, trembling, clutching his weapon. He just burned to cut that man, so badly.

« What ? I struck a nerve ? You thought you could hide but everyone can see the corruption radiating from you. You're just a monster ! »

He snapped. In one second Yi's hand was grabbing thin air, not quick enough to keep that demon at bay. A blood stained blade was drawn, determination guiding its aim.

Fast was the wind, willing to cut down the damned man. Yasuo didn't made a sound, just silent hatred. Hoping that the samurai wouldn't be able to protect himself from the deadly blow.

The familiar clash of swords resonated in the quiet village.

But instead of facing directly his opponent, Yasuo found Yi. Having stepped in the unavoidable fight, he was the one directly confronting the intruder, blade to blade.

Yasuo's heart missed a beat. No, he didn't miss his target. Yi had stopped Yasuo's blade bare hand. _No…._ Right now, all he could see was the hand painfully clutching steel, without falter. Blood dripped gently down to the elbow. Staining his sleeve.

Blood. _Oh gods. Yi's blood_.


	15. Chapter 15

_What..._

He stared wide eyed at the sacrilege he caused. Red. It stained his vision, impossible to miss. The previous anger was forgotten for now, leaving place to inner panick. _I'm hurting him !_

Then it clicked. The hunger, awaken by the sight of a fresh wound. Still concious, Yasuo felt the dark nature clawing bit by bit his control. Wanted to have a taste, just once. _NO_. All this time driving this thought away, now it seemed so easy to do. _I refuse_.

Gaze stuck on his reddened blade, he tried to fight back his instinct. _Stop looking_. But he couldn't.

Yi's left hand didn't let go the steel. But taking it away by force would only harm him further, what Yasuo wanted to prevent at all cost.

He felt ill, too much blood. Frozen on the spot, air seemed to disapear.

Yasuo looked up. The two others were in direct confrontation, swords crossed. The samurai tried to push back and break away of this but Yi kept him there with enough pressure.

The demon's pause didn't go unoticed, even if his mask made him difficult to read.

« So you let the others do your battles, now ? I thought you prefered to take all the glory for yourself ! » the latter's tone was now near the edge of hysteria.

It got the reaction waited, though he couldn't see it. Not only did Yasuo felt his blood boil again from the persistent outrage, but the corrupted thoughts whispered right in his ear.

 _Just a taste. Take him ! Why not deal definitely with the samurai ? He would be more useful once dead._ _Fresh blood… No need to harm our host_.

« You know nothing of me ! » he turned immediatly his face to the damned man with a murderous gaze. But Yasuo couldn't do more, stuck between the sharp hatred for this intruder and the refusal to worsen the wound he caused. « I never wanted the glory, I just wanted to prove myself ! »

Yi kept his attention on the warrior, making sure he wouldn't try something more dangerous. The latter struggled against such strenght, while still trying to rile the demon.

« The only things you proved yourself to be was a murderer, a deserter... » he paused before throwing a last insult in a cold tone. « … and a fratricide. » the blow he couldn't land physically hurted where he expected.

For a few eery seconds, there was nothing. Not a single reaction from Yasuo except his stillness.

Yi, not having focused much on the 'conversation', felt instead the increased tension. But he did hear the last one. _Fratricide_. It echoed in the village, like a ghost.

The enemy stayed silent all the same, curious of this more than disappointing reaction, where he wanted an outburst of violence. A slip of control, an occasion to deepen the injury.

He kept staring at the blank mask. Then Yasuo brought his left hand to take it off, a very slow gesture. Face revealed, he let the mask fall on the ground, not a second without breaking eye contact with the samurai.

Yasuo saw bit by bit the expression of this man turn into a frown, into fear, into horror. The glow of his eyes had nothing human, inhabited by fury and blood lust. Infamy itself.

The stranger let a word out, barely a whisper : « A creature. »

Then everything crashed down like glass.

Yi registered too late that Yasuo had dropped his sword, leaving it to him. But before Yi realised it, he was pushed off the fight, firmly enough to make him lose his balance and fall down.

 _Too fast_.

Yasuo was confronting the intruder, pinning down the hand yielding the weapon. The latter's eyes, wide of surprise, never left the demon as he completely overpowered him.

« You... » there was still a few remains of his previous venom, disgust for the monster under his gaze. « They were right, your very existence is a mistake- »

Stopped by his own shriek. At last giving into his urge, Yasuo harshly bared the samurai's neck and sank his fangs into tender flesh.

All this before Yi's eyes. Even if he wished he couldn't miss anything of this horrifying sight. He saw the man fighting back, trying to force the demon away. But he was too weak.

The worst was the sounds of the feast, the scream turning into a cry. It was impossible to forget. All of it radiated evil, something beyond the laws of mankind. Yi felt nauseous. Exactly like when he first tried to get ride this abomination showing up in the village, not so long ago.

It was horrible. Knowing the man he adored was indeed capable of unthinkable acts. Natural instinct dicted to slay him. _No, it's Yasuo. Don't forget_. The macabre sight repulsed him. There was also a searing pain, to see Yasuo reduced to this, despite all his efforts to fight back the hunger.

 _Monster_. It did seem like the truth. Yi hated himself admitting it. _Remember. You love him_. He had to face this. This was a side of Yasuo. He had to accept it. _This is what he is. But also much more_.

Then the struggling stopped. The samurai's body went limp in Yasuo's deadly embrace. He fell to the ground, with as much grace as a broken puppet. There was no more noises.

Yi's heart was seized by fear when the demon turned away of this massacre, looking at the last living perso here. He froze under the icy gaze, on the ground. Nothing went through it, no emotions. Blood soaked his chin profusely. This was the demon. The human part had left.

How terrible it was, to fear someone cherished so dearly. Yi saw him step closer and closer. But he didn't move. Couldn't move. _N_ o….

Till Yasuo kneeled just in front of him, joining him in the grass. No violence, no attempt to bite him, nothing. Just a neutral face, maybe except a kind of curiosity.

« I will not hurt you. Promise. » the voice was way deeper than usual, smooth and it surprised Yi more than he thought. Well, it even turned him on. Just a bit.

The demon made a slow gesture toward his weapon. That was when Yi noticed he hadn't stop clutching it all this time. Now he felt the kiss of steel digging into his left hand.

Gently, Yasuo craddled the injured hand and brought it to his own lips. Then he lapped the blood dripping of the open wound.

If before Yi was paralyzed by fear, now nothing made sense. He sat here, not even trying to figure what was happening, while the demon gave himself the mission to lick his hand clean. Chasing each single drop of blood with great care. He should be disgusted after the confrontation but right now, he just watched, entranced.

He didn't even register the pain, as it faded away. When Yasuo opened his eyes to look at him, there was something else than blankness. Though it was still the dark one and not the man. How difficult.

Once his work finished, he let go of Yi's hand, just after leaving a kiss to the palm. « Hmmm, delightful. »

As on reflex, Yi yanked his hand off, keeping it close to his chest. _What was that ?_

But no time to question this unrealistic development. Yasuo's gaze changed, a flicker of the glow. And then, recognition. Or what seemed to be it. Confusion. A panicked glance around them, falling on the corpse, not far. Fear, as the gaze returned on Yi.

Then Yasuo stood. And ran.


	16. Chapter 16

_It's over_

Yi knew. The least person in this country who needed to know.

 _I can't stay._

Better run away before Yi order him to.

 _He knows, he knows, he knows…._

His semblance of peace shattered. Because of him.

 _I ruined it._

As fast as he could, Yasuo ran.

First, the samurai looking for troubles, then the hunger resurfacing. It seemed like fate would never stop chastising him. This has been a close one : to lose control, even for a short time, was worth fearing now that he saw all the risks included.

 _I almost killed Yi._

Yasuo didn't know what stopped him. Why the corruption spared Yi's life. Why it refused more blood. But an answer wouldn't change nothing. It was too late.

 _He saw me. The real me_.

This couldn't be undone. Yi had a clear sight of what he was. Though Yasuo wasn't in control in this moment, silenced spectator of his own barbary, he saw the horror in Yi's eyes just after draining the samurai. Horror he caused.

 _He will never be safe if I stay here._

That was why he fled. To avoid the worst thing. Despite the wrench going through his heart with the distance. But after all, Yi was now aware of his crimes so he wouldn't have any reason to keep him here. To shelter a man who slew his own kind, family, flesh and blood. Yasuo thought bitterly that it made it easier.

He wanted to cry so badly. All this was his fault.

Then he was stopped, tackled down neatly.

It wasn't like the last time he fled. This time, Yi had followed.

He pinned down Yasuo, maintaining him here with his own weight and blocked one of his arms.

Yasuo's surprise turned into frustration, trying to get out of this but it ended impossible without a violent fight. One he wanted to avoid.

Face to the ground, he realised how stupid he was. Of course, how could he flee the fastest man of Ionia ? Now he was cornered, getting back his breath, bracing himself for whatever kind of torture was next.

« Where do you think you're going ? » for a man who saw death incarnate not even an hour ago, Yi's tone was calm, neutral. Or maybe that was just a façade.

« I don't know ! Let me go ! » panick was clear in his words. He wasn't ready for a conversation, not now, not tomorrow, never.

Yi insisted, words more firm : « Where are you running to ? »

« Anywhere but here ! I swear I'm leaving. Just let me go. Please…. » his voice weakened on the end.

No other question came right after, just silence. Yasuo had abandoned any hope for an escape.

« So you really want to leave the village. » this wasn't even an ask, no answer expected, just an observation. What changed was the sad turn it took, Yasuo could hear it.

Anyway, he felt the need to explain himself : « I have to… »

« Why ? »

« Why ? Are you blind ? Haven't you seen what I did ? » he wasn't even loosing his calm, he lost it a very long time ago. It only left him with incredulity.

« I am not blind and you know it. I saw all you did and you know it. I saw you kill this man, drink his blood and you know it. Just answer me ! Why do you have to go ? » now there was a hint of anger, patience coming to an end but that was understandable after such troubles they went through.

Yasuo had practically never heard the latter in this state and it was another reason to stress. The speech sank in. But there was no answer he could formulate after a while.

« As long as I stay, you will be in danger. » voice so small now. « I don't want to hurt you... »

Yi considered it and let go of his arm. Though he kept Yasuo right were he was.

« You will hurt me if you really run away. » he admitted.

Repressed emotions built up, making it hard to talk : « But I'm a criminal. I killed people. I can't stay... »

This made Yi sigh from exasperation : « We already had this conversation. I know you have blood on your hands but that changes nothing. You can stay at the village. »

One last reason, the heavier : « I… I killed my own brother. » the sentence was followed by a sob.

That was the hardest to confess. A crime so vile that corrupted him from the inside. Not the first sin, but the less forgivable.

Yi stayed in a respectful silence, giving him time. Shortly after, he noticed the ragged breathing, and sobs shaking uncontrollably Yasuo's shoulders.

« Yasuo…. » sadness tinted the name.

This was how it felt to let down a burden, to share its weight. Yi shifted off the other man then made both of them sit, facing each other. It was heart-breaking to see him weep, so much he couldn't help the tight embrace to comfort him. Yasuo reciprocated instantly, coming the closest possible.

« I'm sorry I didn't find out sooner what troubled you. » as he spoke, he tried to soothe Yasuo, a hand on his back. « As I said, you will always be welcome here. No matter what you did. The regrets plaguing you were enough punishment. »

Yasuo still tried to argue : « I don't deserve this. I'm a monster. »

As reaction, Yi only tightened even more the hug. This was so exhausting for him also. To hear so much self-loathing.

« You're not a monster unless you decide to act like one. A man isn't defined by his actions but by his choices. And your choice had been taken from you. »

Another wave of tears took Yasuo, definitely shattering innerly, little by little, word by word.

Yi calmed him through it, his shoulder now damp and stained with blood but he didn't mind the least.

« Yasuo, be honest please. Do you want to leave ? Not what you think you have to do for my sake but what you want. Be selfish »

It took some time for Yasuo to collect his words : « No. » barely a whisper not far from Yi's ear. « I want to stay here with you. »

« Then it's all good. You can stay however long you prefer. Was it so difficult ? » his tone was lighter, relieved to keep his guest.

Yasuo wasn't crying no more, he had his load for the day. But he didn't let go, just parting enough to look at Yi.

« I still don't understand how you can tolerate me. You're fucking insane. » his eyes, still red from the tears, met Yi's an instant before he averted them. The ghost of a smile appeared.

Yi laughed, a genuine one : « I'm not insane. I'm just desperately in love. »

Not even a fraction of second after, Yasuo met his gaze again, this time full of disbelief : « What ? » He wasn't even sure if his head invented that or if he heard voices.

The surprise clearly written on Yasuo's face as he stared at Yi brought a dark flush to the latter's face. He looked away, suddenly uncomfortable. _That was so stupid !_

« This changes nothing ! I just wanted you to know that you weren't as unwanted that you thought. Sorry, it was awkward. »

Yi moved on, standing quickly to brush away this unfortunate confession. « Let's go home, shall we ? »

He thought that made also a good distraction from the previous 'developments'. _What a great idea, to confess right after someone died in an atrocious way_. Nothing made sense, everything happened at the same time, too much.

« Wait ! »

Yasuo followed him, a bit put off by the sudden leave. And the confession. Of course. It was still bouncing in his head. Catching up, he took Yi's right hand, holding it. Yasuo was quite confused right now too. Emotions mixed up, insecurity, fear for Yi's life, the previous hate for the samurai. But contact was always a good thing, helping him to focus.

Though, Yi accepted to hold hands, still walking a bit ahead. If not for the red coloring his ears, he would seem unbothered.

« Yi ? » the tone was almost back to normal, just curious.

« Yes ? » at the opposite, Yi's voice was a bit strained, reserved.

« Huh, what do you mean by 'love' ? Is it like in a family ? between friends ? …. a couple ? »

The sole reaction this question got was an intensified blush : « Sorry, I thought it was clear. I meant 'love' of the same kind between lovers. »

Yasuo had felt an instant that Yi let go of his hand so he squeezed a little, to keep him. After that, the latter sighed and resumed the touch.


	17. Chapter 17

_Loved_

That was something Yasuo wouldn't have hoped anymore. Impossible and yet it was the case.

 _Loved_

After such strong and opposite emotions today, everything left except this flutter. A rare joy, warming his heart. One he had found only in his family when he was a kid. Yasuo didn't develop this thought further, thinking about Yone was still painful.

So he focused on this new confirmation instead.

 _He loves me_

Again it brought a burst of affection, a fuzzy feeling. So intense, he wanted to scream. And to hug him. Tightly. With as much strenght it would take to make the latter understand the reciprocation.

To hold his hand was not enough but also too much. It meant everything, now that Yi's feelings were clear. This knowledge lightened a lot of things. The question now is 'since when ?'.

The gods be praised, Yasuo loved that man too. So much it hurted. Because for now he hadn't said anything of his own feelings. Refused to.

He kept his gaze, gentle without knowing it, on Yi as they went back home.

 _This heart beats only for him_

Yasuo was torn between two choices. He could tell Yi about what he felt for him and once this step made, they could enjoy this mutual love. But at the same time, it felt wrong. To feel loved like this. Without condition. After all he did.

If Yi wasn't told yet of this, it was first because of the surprise effect but on a second level because Yasuo refused.

 _It's not a lie. Just omission. I don't want to inflict this to him._

At the same time, the idea of sharing more than their usual – and already important - 'contacts' was very appealing. Again, there was an opposition between his desires and his obsession for security. His and Yi's. Or maybe he was just a coward.

 _It's cruel_

Yasuo already blamed himself for not telling. Right now, he prefered to keep this locked down.

Yi's pace slowed, making Yasuo reach him without thinking. Here they were, where the incident occurred.

No noises, even nature was quiet for now.

Right where Yasuo had let him down, there was the body of the samurai. Nothing had moved, the grass still red under the corpse, from the remaining blood. A cursed aura could be felt in that small area.

All that was a harsh reminder. Yasuo grew uneasy at the sight of his perpetration.

A vision flashed. Yi's body to the ground, instead of that man. It disappeared instantly. But the fear implanted remained. _All but this_. His own mind was a real prison sometimes. And it wasn't a courtesy of the dark one.

Yi felt the tremor coursing his body. Yasuo's hand was squeezed, making sure he was still here.

« We will take care of the body later. For now, let's get you clean. »

Yasuo nodded, trying to put his gaze anywhere else. Still following Yi, they came to a stop.

« Ah. »

Yes, all this time he forgot his own saber here. Still lying on the grass, not far from Yi's blade. The stupidity of it fell upon him : he wouldn't have gone very far without his weapon. Abandon his blade or come back and face Yi ? That would have been a real dilemma.

Then another sudden observation came : there was blood on it. Memories rushed. _Oh no_. Without waiting any second, Yasuo cradled again Yi's left hand to assess the wound. He couldn't escape the memory of the demon taking his sweet time 'cleaning up' the injury. The taste of blood lingered a bit on his tongue, Yasuo hated that he appreciated it like fine wine.

Yi let him do, again. But immediatly both noticed something was wrong. Or rather good. Where the skin had been deeply cut by sharp steel, there was just a neat scar. Not fully healed, in the same state than after taking off a bandage, but a great deal better than what it was supposed to look.

Yasuo was dumbfounded, at least as much as the other man. _How ?_ Yi felt like an idiot for not registering sooner the lack of pain. He had just forgotten about it. Here was the reason why.

« It never did that before so I can safely assume that it's your doing. What are you capable of ? »

It sounded a little like an accusation so Yasuo panicked : « Me ? I don't know, I never did something like that before. » he paused when an explanation seemed to come by itself. « Erm on the other hand, I know I can regenerate myself, till some point. You know, like cuts, sword wounds and this kind of stuff. »

The look given by Yi was a new one, full of interest for a trivial thing : « You never told me your body could heal itself. A good compensation to your sad condition. But I don't want to hear how you learned about your regeneration. Now, let's go, we have stayed more than recomended here. »

They took their blades then went to the house. It was strange to feel the evil tension fade away as they did.

Once in, Yi gave a defeated sigh when he saw what was left of their meal : « Will have to deal with this too. » Thinking about it, they left everything like this without thinking that a lot could happen outside, once the intruder found out. _It feels already like another ancient time_.

How much time ? An hour maybe ? And it felt like an eternity. So much had changed since.

Yasuo put their weapons down then busied himself with taking off the last remnant of blood on his blade, as soon as possible. As he did, the hunger didn't reacted in any way, calmed down for a long time.

While he put away things to find again a bit of order, Yi went back to his questions : « So, you can regenerate. I'm curious, are there any limits to this ability ? »

He didn't look up when answering but he wasn't bothered giving that kind of information : « Honestly, I don't know. Haven't tried yet to cut an arm or legs off. But I don't think it would work. It's just a boosted healing, like really fast. »

« Don't ever joke about cutting off an arm. Please. »

« I didn't say I would try ! I'm not that stupid ! » with an seemingly outraged tone.

« Good to hear. Now, put the sword away. » Yi said as he handed him a damp fabric to clean his face.

« Thanks. » So Yasuo proceeded. « Where are you going ? » he asked when Yi went to leave.

« Just to my room. I have to change clothes. » as he indicated the blood staining his shoulder but also his sleave.

« Oh, right. I'm sorry. » he had the politeness to go red at this.

« It's not your fault. I'll be back shortly. »

During this time, Yasuo tried to take the blood off his face and neck. His thoughts wandered freely, and seemed to focus on what Yi was doing. Just changing clothes. Now that Yasuo thought about it, he never saw his host naked, or even just in trousers. Here he blushed even more, eyeing the door of the room. _Stop stop stop_. It would be unlucky to get aroused right now, just on imagined sight.

Then it suddenly opened as Yi joined Yasuo, clothing fresh.

Sitting by his side, he gave a small chuckle after staring at Yasuo's face : « You missed a few spots. »

Yi took the fabric then went to finish the uncomplete task. It was done rather quickly but it took both of them more time to register the closeness and position. The way he was cupping Yasuo's jaw reminded them another similar moment.

 _Ah. When I showed him my fangs_. The tension was the same but this time Yasuo understood. The previous time, he wanted to kiss Yi, to thank the slight tenderness given. Now, it was clear that it was also on the latter's mind. Even more because he knew his feelings.

While he panicked innerly, Yi was leaning closer, keeping the eye contact without shying away. That was it. Yasuo's heart pounded, not ready yet for that even if he craved it for a long time.

But before Yi could claim his lips, Yasuo spoke : « Yi….. I don't- » _deserve…._

So it was over. Yi took a second to comprehend then parted away, getting to his feet. So fast, Yasuo couldn't react.

« Well, it seems that I forgot myself. I apologize, it was really incorrect. » nothing transpired in his tone, the greatest neutrality but also a good way to hide emotions.

Then he truly left, shutting the door of the room.

Yasuo stayed there, not over what happened, what could have happened. He had been so close to one of his wishes but it immediatly turned to ashes.

 _I fucked up._


	18. Chapter 18

_Ahhhhhhh shit..._

Yasuo had thought that today still had a bright side but nom he definitely made it worse. He berated himself for doing the exact opposite of what he wanted. The most direct and clear way to reject Yi.

This was precisely the type of situation he got stuck in without any help – _yes sir I create my own mess_. The type that would make him wish for a quick death, if he wasn't bound by honor already.

After all Yasuo had to go through this day, the need to cry bubbled up again, only to be repressed this time. _No, already done today_. It wouldn't help at all. But it didn't go away.

A samurai from his town chasing him till here. _This fucker was really motivated to see me die._

It was already quite unlucky. But having him claim out and loud Yasuo's crimes, that was enough. _I didn't need this. Yi didn't need to hear this neither._

This only made Yasuo's life worse. Revealed and called out, as the monster he was, under Yi's gaze.

Then the loss of control and the killing. That feeling of not being able to intervene in his own doing. _Never again_.

Being watched with such dread by someone held so close to one's heart. Having them witness one's true nature. Knowing they can't flee because the terror is too strong. Seeing one's reflection in wide eyes. The fear of an enemy is far less disturbing than the fear of a loved one.

It made Yasuo's heart sink, just at the memory.

But after all, Yi still accepted him. He saw everything there was to see of Yasuo. And ran after him.

Yi saw him and ran after him when he fled. The concept in itself was unbelievable. Not to deliver him justice but safety instead.

A helping hand holden out to him.

 _Salvation_

And yet he refused it.

Well, not exactly. Yasuo did return with him, _home_. But right then, when he was offered what both wanted, he couldn't resolve himself to take it. And it felt like he didn't repay Yi. The man gave him everything, a roof, peace, affection and now his heart.

 _And I fucking rejected him_.

There was no mistaking about the one responsible for the flash of hurt in Yi's eyes, just before he masked himself with blank politeness.

Blaming panick would be a poor choice, Yasuo was not the kind of man ignoring his wrongs. He was perfectly aware of it.

Here he was, helpless, his gaze still on the shut door. His body rhythm was back to normal, after such a short intense moment. But his mind, not so much.

Yasuo was sure that his host wouldn't go out of the room any time soon. It was – to his record – the first time he upset Yi and it went quite far. He wanted to apologize. For this. For himself. And confess right away.

But respecting Yi's boundaries came first. Though he wasn't sure if there would be an occasion soon.

 _Ah. I guess tonight I'm sleeping in the living room_.

He would have laughed of it if he wasn't fighting already his self inflicted sadness.

It was time to move.

Yasuo still decided to go to the door but didn't dare to go further.

« Yi ? » as quiet as possible, just enough to be heard on the other side. As afraid that death itself would open suddenly the door and smack the curse out of him.

On the other hand, it reminded Yasuo of the few times when during his childhood he went to see his mom in her room, for whatever reason. To apologize after a bad prank, to seek help when Yone wasn't here, anything, a bit of the attention he craved.

Knocking, peeking through the ajar door. Then he would always be welcome in here.

This kind of memory always made him feel like he just hit a wall of brick. It was so foreign, memories of another person and yet his.

All the same, it was safety he seeked from this room. And right now he wasn't allowed in.

« I'll heading out, to deal with the corpse. Erm, I'm not leaving leaving, you know. I will come back once it's done. »

Silence answered him but at the same time, Yasuo didn't expect anything.

« I'm sorry. »

So he just did what he said and went out to take care of his mess. Soul still heavy with regrets.

 _He doesn't want_.

Yi replayed again and again this moment. The twinge never left his heart, a reminder of the refusal.

He had left in a hurry but that was all he could manage at the time before slumping on the bed, though it was a bit overreacting. But he really didn't felt like it. The small courage he gathered to at last make a move, something that he tought would be returned, for nothing.

He didn't want to be mad at Yasuo. It wasn't his fault. If he didn't feel the same way Yi did toward him, that would be all. Anybody is allowed to reciprocate or not. that's the principle of free will and choice.

And yet Yi felt empty, exhausted. Staring at the ceiling, rummaging the last memories.

 _I was mistaken_.

He blamed himself for that one. For not reading good enough in their exchanges, Yasuo's behaviour with him.

Yi wanted to think about something else, tears starting to blur his vision. But he wouldn't give into it. _I have been through worse_. But the rejection remained fresh, stinging. _Sulking like a child, bravo_.

At some point he heard Yasuo call for him from the other side. He payed attention, curious though hurt. Innerly he thanked the other man for noting he wasn't trying to run away again. _He will come back_.

Silence did, also, put aside the chirping of birds in the woods nearby. When enough time seemed to have gone, Yi decided to get out too. If he didn't before Yasuo came back, he would be trapped again in his room.

 _Then I would have to face him_.

 _Well, at least this fucker will have a grave I can spit on_.

The man had indeed tried to kill him and managed to get him in trouble with Yi but he remained a samurai. It burned Yasuo to let his body rot nearby the Noxus border. But they were both men of honor so he took the corpse to one of the few villages of the small island and left him to be found by the population.

It certainly wouldn't be good for him and his hunts but it was a guaranty that the samurai would be buried with minimum respect.

 _Respect he doesn't deserve. Cunt_.

Yasuo hated that man fiercely, with good reasons. Had he never explored the village, Yi wouldn't have been injured. But the samurai did one thing useful : giving free blood, with any possible regret in taking it.

 _More useful in death than in life. Next time go search the true culprit_.

Yasuo kept raging against this warrior while he came back home. It sure took him a lot of time to reach a village, Yi's own really was situated as far as possible of any other human life. _Hidden place in the mountains_.

Sun was going down when at last he made it, on the end of the afternoon. Right now, Yasuo just wanted a bit of rest, and to check on Yi.

He was glad to be back, knowing he was home here. Stepping into the house, he noticed the absence. No human life nearby.

 _Ah_

The door of the room was open. No one inside.

 _Yi is gone_


	19. Chapter 19

Yasuo stayed at the door of the room, contemplating the absence, quite puzzled.

 _He's not here…._

He didn't panick, there was no reason to. But the doubt remained in the back of his mind, creeping slowly.

 _No, he left his blade. Not gone too far._

Indeed, the proud weapon was back to its dedicated place, in the room. Everything was in order, cleaned. The only thing missing was the host.

 _I need to find him. To be sure nothing happened_.

So Yasuo wandered in the village, looking for Yi. To his chagrin, the place seemed emptier than before, nobody in the area. The village felt even more dead than before.

He kept exploring but beside the house they occupied, there was really no habitable construction. A pang of sadness, to see this place which must have been so lively before.

No sign of a living person yet. Yasuo grew worried.

 _Maybe he's avoiding me_.

This thought burned a bit, reminding his failure to convey his feelings. Again, it scared him to have upset Yi to this point. _What if he doesn't come back ?_ Yasuo couldn't avoid this possibility, even if it was unlikely.

Worry turned quickly to fear. He was alone again. But there was also the pain of having inflicted such rejection to Yi.

Then he sensed it as he reached the edge of the wood. Human presence. Just a fleeting aura only Yasuo could pick out. Since nobody was living here except the two of them, he deduced he at last found Yi.

Relief replaced worry. Yasuo followed that faint trail through the woods. He was curious about where this would lead. But also he got a bit nervous at the idea of facing Yi. What would he say ? He didn't know yet.

The presence was a bit stronger, distance closed little by little. During this quest, Yasuo came across a small path, which seemed to come from the village too. He just didn't saw it back then.

All around him, nature was fully awake, leaves rustling in the breeze, a few animals living their life. It was so soothing, just to listen to the environment. If one payed attention, the typical noise of a river or a waterfall could be heard. The path in itself was quite old, proof that it was well used in the past. Yasuo kept walking with a unhurried pace.

Now, he could say without a doubt that it was indeed a waterfall, just near. And his senses indicated that he was heading that way, to the man he was searching. Yasuo's heart felt heavy again. _I found him_.

Taking a deep breath, he made his way to what looked like a clearing in the woods, where the thrumming noises were louder.

Indeed, it was a glade, green grass bathed with the last sunlight of this day. And a bit behind, the waterfall, freely pouring down in a kind of pond then running down as a stream

But no matter how beautiful this place was, Yasuo couldn't care less about it. Because right here he found his beloved. And it left him speechless.

Yi was here.

Right under the waterfall. Sitting on a rock that seemed to be carved, with some harmonious ornamentation. The pond wasn't a natural one, the stones all around were also polished, disposed in a way both aesthetic and practical.

Entranced, Yasuo took a few cautious steps in its direction, like afraid to break the spell.

 _I found him_.

Yi wasn't completely facing the other man but almost, seeming in a deep meditation. Water kept flowing from above, utterly soaking him but there was no discomfort shown.

 _Oh hell_

It took Yasuo a rather long time to register the lack of clothing of the other man. Well, he still had his trousers on but it still had a great impact on his observer. Yasuo felt innerly blessed for witnessing it, at last. _Ahem, pretty sight._

Yi wasn't aware of the other man's presence or if he did, he hid it well. Unable to move yet, Yasuo took an eyeful while he blamed himself for indulging in it. He willed to engrave it in his memory : well-built body, result of a long training. He wasn't as broad as Yasuo, a bit shorter also but it didn't mean he wasn't as strong. Yasuo's stare lingered on his torso, well-defined muscle heaving slowly with each deep breath.

His body was fitted to his fighting style, quick and clean, a man relying on swiftness to strike down his enemies before they could even react.

The way water made his skin glisten oh so slightly was just a tease.

Yasuo could have stayed here forever, if it meant looking at such beauty till the end. The fear to be caught still remained in the back of his mind, playful. But not nearly as important.

But well, he came here for a reason. Now that it was clear that Yi was safe and fine, there was another matter to adress. Yasuo had to apologize.

He braced himself then called the other man to get his attention, through the constant noise :

« Yi. »

It had been some time since the last time he went to the waterfall.

Back in happier days, when he was younger, Yi didn't get often the permission to go there. Mostly because it was the more 'quiet' place of the village, away of the cheerful routine of its people. Kids weren't allowed to go there, only the masters could when they needed a place to focus or meditate.

For him, it still had this image of a private place, only for the adults. What a thrill it was when at last he could go there to meditate. A peaceful place, away of everything, no distractions. The feeling of not being a child anymore.

Now it also was a painful memory. Yi had all rights to go there, no one could stop him. No one, because they were all dead. And he did have the right, after all he was a Wuju master. _The last one_.

Yes, sourness and sadness, such a terrible duo.

The walk to this glade was soothing, a prelude to the peace at the end. Arrived, Yi left the towel he took by anticipation not far from the pond, took off his top then without any wait stepped into the pond.

Water at the level of his waist, chilly but not so much thanks to the end of the day, he reached the carved rock. No matter how many times he came here before and how prepared he was, the shock of water on his skin was always here. It never left. But Yi knew that after a bit of adaptation, it would seem almost warm. _It's in the head_. His father always said that.

Once settled, Yi could relax. The waterfall really was a good way to focus, the cold water seemed to numb every single external sense, nothing could interfere.

So he could at last summarize all that happened and think about what he should do.

 _So much, just in one day._

First, a stranger intruded in the village, something that never happened before. _Mmmh not really, Yasuo ran into the village the same way than the samurai_. Then it was the second time it happened. For a place formerly kept hidden and supposed to remain like it, it was surprising. And it didn't mention Noxus's attack. _Since that moment, our peace was broken_.

 _But back at today_. What Yi would remember of the stranger was his hostility. _He maybe gave some information but he was not here to deliver justice_. His words still ticked him, for trying so hard to bring Yasuo down.

For once, Yi was almost glad to know that the man was dead. Such toxicity and malevolence, at the service of honor. Because the samurai did trigger the demon. He was the one responsible for this. Maybe for reasons he thought were good but he did it.

 _And in all this mess I got myself hurt. Well done_. Though getting injured wasn't something to be proud of, in this case it was in an attempt to protect Yasuo. Great good it did, Yasuo still lost control and killed the man. And then gave Yi one of the biggest scare of his life but whatever.

He would never forget the terror. _Rooted deep in me. Horrible_. But now it felt largely worse to remember that look of pure dread Yasuo had when he took back control over the demon. _Then he fled_.

Seeing his guest run away another time had been quite heartbreaking. And if Yi hadn't followed, Yasuo wouldn't have accepted to come back.

In the end, it had been an useful run. He learned a bit more about Yasuo, though it pained him to see the latter break under such confession. _He killed his brother_. That was the answer he looked since the beginning. An important piece of the puzzle. _Holding too much to one's honor can be terrible sometimes. He didn't deserved such fate_. But Yi wasn't done yet, some information still missed. _Was it when he killed his brother that he got cursed ? Before ? After ?_

He would not get an answer anytime soon.

Then he thought of his own mistake. Well, was it really a bad idea to confess ? Yi had no clue about it. Since then, he thought Yasuo might return some of these feelings. _One doesn't sleep each night with any stranger_. Maybe he shouldn't have rushed things, tried to kiss him. Even now he was ashamed of his badly calculated risk. _It takes one minute for a man to shatter his hopes_.

Still no anger nor remorse against Yasuo. It only made Yi sadder to see that he overstepped a boundary.

 _I hope we could still keep what we had_. He already missed the touch, any kind of contact they shared before.

 _I have to apologize to him_.

« YI ! »

A shout just next to him, so much it almost made him jump. Opening his eyes, he shot a confused look at the source of the call, who could only be Yasuo.

Maybe Yi had been more expressive than intended because the latter had also a quite surprised look. The same than a child having disrupted something important without knowing it.

« Err sorry for that but I had to get your attention. I would have come myself to you but the water is fucking cold, no way I don't lose a limb in that. » voice a bit unsure. « I took the body away. Now, can we go home ? Please ? »

Yi kept his silence but moved to the edge of the pond. During that, he fully felt Yasuo's staring and it made him uneasy. Then when he took the towel and covered himself, the stare had left as quick. _Ah, I see_. The pink hue to Yasuo's face was another clue.

Embarrassed, Yi tightened the towel around him then took the direction of the village.

« Let's go. » an similar blush painted his face.

Footsteps just behind him were enough to know the latter followed, in their shared silence. Then Yasuo made a small move to take Yi's free hand, a shy gesture. Yi felt it, fingers entwining with his so carefully.

With equal gentleness, he took his hand away of Yasuo's grasp. His heart ached.


	20. Chapter 20

There was no words to describe the pain piercing Yasuo's heart right now.

It may have been kind, not even meant to be harsh but it made the refusal worse.

… _.it hurts._

Yasuo didn't try again to touch the latter, afraid of another reaction confirming this. Earlier that day, Yi did accepted to hold hands. But not this time.

 _A taste of my own medecine, I guess_. This thought made him laugh bitterly, full of hate for his actions.

It hurted a lot, more than enough to keep his hands to himself. _So this is how it's gonna be_. It sounded like the end of a time, one where he could stay close to Yi without fear of rejection.

 _I should have told him…._

As result of his inaction, Yi was taking his distance from him.

The return to the house felt even less bearable.

 _Why did I do that ?_

That was it, Yi was now angry against himself. He did want to keep their closeness. _Our intimacy..._ And so why not just brush away Yasuo attempt at contact ? It was a good idea, wasn't it ? No ? The opposite ? This was how bad decisions were made. _Oh I hate myself_.

And it seemed like it worked : Yasuo didn't try again and kept silent all the way back home, even after.

No words exchanged, no reaching, any kind of touch. Gaze averted if he could. _Like strangers…_

So he did as if he was alone and left Yasuo in the living room to go dry himself and take care of the towel.

When the sun was set and arrived the time to prepare dinner, Yi broke the ice : « Are you hungry ? »

« No, already got enough today. Thanks for asking. » Yasuo still looked anywhere but at the latter.

He stayed at his spot, next to the open door giving on the terrace. Needing a distraction, Yasuo settled on sharpening his weapon. A familiar task, to keep himself busy and stop focusing on the pain coiling in his chest.

Not far behind him, Yi was taking his meal, in this uncomfortable silence. Of course his gaze never left Yasuo, following the object of his thoughts. Even before he had shown much more conversation skill than that.

 _Maybe it's for the better. If he doesn't share these 'feelings', then at least let's not bother him more_. But letting go this man was difficult. Not literally, of course. Yi didn't trust himself not to put off the other man.

The song of steel resonnated in the house, without any concurrence. It was only when Yi stood and went to wash the dishes that Yasuo dared to look at him. When he couldn't be seen.

Since there was nothing left to do, Yi started his night routine and went to bed. He left the door of the room opened, not sure that closing it would be a good idea.

Yasuo didn't budge, innerly unsure. Still the same conflict : he wanted to join Yi in the room and just go to sleep. The latter didn't forbid him to do so, the door wasn't shut but despite all this, Yasuo didn't know. That last refusal left a burned mark. Maybe the boundary had been changed and Yi wanted to go back to the beginning.

In his bed, Yi was equally troubled. Yasuo didn't come in to sleep yet. But after what happened, it was to be expected. Not that suddenly Yasuo would want to stop sleeping with him. Literally, gods, not further. But maybe he needed that distance.

But the craving for contact was too strong.

It urged Yi to get up. He made it to the still open door then looked for Yasuo. He was still here, leaning against the wall, facing the terrace. Yi took a deep breath.

« Yasuo ? »

The latter immediatly turned his head in his direction, with a quite surprised expression : « Yes ? »

« You don't have to say yes, I'm not forcing you. But…. come to bed ? With me ? »

The answer wasn't voiced but if he trusted the eager nod and the way Yasuo made it to the room in a second, that would be a yes. He undressed to sleep as quickly as possible then joined Yi, in the same way than a lot of nights before.

Yi still tried not to impose himself more than needed so he kept his back to Yasuo. Had he just started to relax that he was captured in a warm embrace, Yasuo's chest to his back.

 _AH_

That was much more than what Yi expected. Damnit, he just thought about sleeping peacefully with the other man but not that close. Yasuo's hand came to rest against Yi's heart, with a reason to that. Still no words, just a hug. Calm came back, in exterior. Because that wasn't the case at all for Yi, heartbeat going wild.

Yasuo could feel it, the quickened pounding just under his palm.

 _He did it on purpose !_

Yi couldn't believe it, a bit too shaken right now. He got red in the face. _Why do I react like that ?_

Then silence was broken.

« I apologize, Yi. » a whisper but the words were said so close to his ear.

« For what ? » because yes, at this moment Yi didn't know what would require apologies.

« For when you confessed. I'm sorry. »

« You don't need to apologize for my own feelings. I should be the one doing it, for the discomfort I caused you. » said in only one breath. _The talk, here we are_.

« No, you don't understand. » said with tired words.

Indeed, Yi didn't. So he let the other speak.

« I'm sorry… for not telling you I feel the same way than you. I can't say it, it's too hard but trust me, I return your feelings. » on the end of it, his voice was even smaller, slightly strangled by raw emotion. Unconciously, Yasuo tightened the embrace around the man.

Yi at first was dead silent. But the crazy heartbeat proved he heard well, without a doubt. Several time he was about to speak up but nothing came.

Then at last : « Why didn't you tell me ? » he sounded wounded. « Why did you refuse when I tried to…. ? » it threatened to break.

Yi couldn't help this pent-up sadness to take over, to spill in his voice. Despite the joy to know his love was mutual. Was it sadness ? Not really. Maybe frustration then ? But he knew it was useless to feel even so lightly betrayed because starting from now it wouldn't matter.

« Because I was afraid. And I still am. I don't deserve to be loved. »

« Don't. Just don't say that again. » Yi took his composure back, even with such turmoil. « It's not true. And if you don't believe me, watch me do it anyway. »

Yasuo felt the latter squirming in the embrace, trying to look at him. But he refused that, as he kept his face hidden, pressed to the back of Yi's head. Then he realized he was crying again, tears blurring his vision and rolling down.

« I'm too dangerous to love... » his voiced cracked.

« No you're not. If you want, we can work this, find ways for you to keep control. Together. »

Then Yi tried harder to roll on his other side, to face the man hopelessly trying not to be seen. At last he made it when Yasuo gave up. The latter still tried to mask a part of his face with a hand but Yi took it away gently.

When he could make eye contact, Yi felt a strange urge. Right now, Yasuo wasn't beautiful, far from it in this pit of despair, but the pure vulnerability shown was the more human emotion Yi saw in his life. _A monster could never feel this much._

Here was the man he loved, trying his best to hide from the world, shattered but not beyond repair. It was up to Yi to help him through it. To bring the better out of him. And never he wanted something this much.

« Don't look. I'm a real mess. » he laughed through the tears, again in a tone full of self-loathing.

« I will look at you as much as I want. And I will never get tired of the sight. »

Yasuo also was quite weak to praise, had always been. It didn't miss this time, bringing a dark blush to his damp face. « That was just gratuitous. How dare you. »

Yi sensed that the worst had passed. « So, will you allow me to help you ? Love you ? Worship you ? » with each word he leaned closer to Yasuo's face, waiting for a full consent.

Impressive how this formerly talkative youngster could get flustered so easily.

Yasuo managed to answer, with some difficulty : « Yes. Please. »

And it was enough.

« So be it. » Yi's smile could be heard in his voice. He considered briefly Yasuo, still staring at him, so close to claim. A bit overwhelmed by the emotion of the instant, he leaned down and left a kiss on Yasuo's cheek. The memory of a similar kiss in that peculiar night came up.

Yi took care to brush away the fresh tears. At last Yasuo relaxed. Then he shifted closer, to rest his face in the crook of Yi's neck.

« Thank you. »

Both fell fast asleep, lulled by each other's breathing.


	21. Chapter 21

Next morning, Yasuo woke up to the familiar presence by his side. During the night they ended up tangled together in this particular fashion they had. He guessed this was the reason his head rested comfortable on Yi's chest.

The magic in it was that everything changed in their relationship and yet all was the same when it came to their sleeping habit. The warmth of the contact spread to his being.

Slowly but surely waking up, Yasuo stretched before nuzzling against the latter's neck. How easily he could do it wasn't a matter anymore, now that it was stated they loved each other. But he remembered his own hesitation and guilt when nothing was sure. When he thought he was cheating destiny.

But it was over. Now he was allowed. _I want to do so much_. Things he didn't dare before.

To be able to reach for Yi without any reason, except the need of contact.

To use endearments till the latter blushed.

To kiss him everywhere, each available expanse of skin, as many time as he would like.

To shower him with attention.

 _To kiss him…._

Just trying to imagine this was enough to make his heart do funny things. Yasuo had yet to discover how sentimental he could get. _Shit, so sappy_.

He rose a little to look at Yi, still asleep. The very first thought to come hit him as hard as before : _Gods, I love him_. No particular reason to think that right now but everytime he let his gaze fall on the latter, his heart leaped of joy.

 _So it makes me the luckiest man of Runeterra_.

A small urge made Yasuo bring his hand to Yi's face, stroking his cheek in a fond manner. He couldn't explain the need to touch, it was so strange.

He didn't expect to wake Yi, though it seemed logical that his gesture would disturb his sleep. Yasuo just didn't thought about it.

Yi stirred, opening his eyes then lazily turned his gaze to Yasuo. Seeing so much affection directed to him made Yasuo avert his gaze. But the latter managed to get his attention back, taking the hand caressing his cheek to give a peck to the palm.

« Good morning to you, too. »

Yi witnessed the inner burn-out caused by this innocent action. How Yasuo froze, so close to him, in a mild state of shock. _We will not go very far if he keeps doing that_ , he chuckled to himself. By now, Yi knew a little push would be needed sometimes. So he would gladly help.

Since Yasuo hadn't made a move yet, Yi took the initiative and rolled both of them over to swap positions. The latter's gaze widened when he registered he was indeed under Yi. The cheer confusion Yi read on his face made feelings blossom once again in his chest. So warm, so fuzzy, he dived to press a kiss to Yasuo's cheek, his temple, the scar on his nose, everywhere. Yi relished this instant, to give so much, knowing it was welcome.

Under this passionate assault, Yasuo felt his heart melt, aching oh so sweetly. It has been a long time since someone gave him affection so openly. He wanted to reciprocate, to touch too, to make sure it was real. _Make sure he is real_.

Yasuo repeated the first action and rolled them over again. Mirrored surprise painted Yi's face, along with a lovely blush. _So so perfect_. It was Yasuo's turn, seizing his kind revenge to give back an equal treatment. Light kisses were left all over Yi's face, quick and precise, a thorough worship. Yasuo even went lower, tasting the skin of his neck, the collarbone, till his lips met clothing.

A soft sigh made its way out of Yi and it only prompted Yasuo to redouble his efforts. Instead of violence to repay violence like he learned during the war, he could pay back with love and attention. Another idea came to Yasuo's mind and he couldn't let it pass. Keeping up his gentle display, he ran his hands to Yi's sides, stroking. Then he spurred into action and began to tickle him with frightening accuracy.

Yi's reaction was instantaneous, tensing as he tried to stop himself from laughing : « Stop that ! » He couldn't help it, writhing under the other man.

« I didn't know you were ticklish. Good to know. » Yasuo sounded so pleased with the noisy outburst. He didn't stop the torture, maintaining the tension to leave Yi no occasion to recover. _Blessed gods, his noises_.

« I am not ! But you're sure as hell making me ! Stop, please ! » he wheezed. Trying to get a hold on himself and his composure was a lost fight. But if he was forced to use strenght to get out of this, he would.

Yasuo couldn't get over all he got out of Yi, his laugh ringing in his ears like a melody.

« I give you until 3. Then you'll better stop or I put you down. » said with short breath. This was his last attempt before losing it, after that he would have to get rough. « One ! »

 _Okay okay !_

Not even a second later, Yasuo stopped. Not that he was truly afraid but he still didn't want to push Yi further. _Ayyy better not try him_. And he wouldn't risk to get his ass kicked for non compliance.

Yi at last could breathe without trouble. One more time, he switched their positions to straddle Yasuo. Yi took the latter's hands and pinned them to either side of his head, not letting go.

« Good choice. I resent having to use violence to solve a conflict, so thank you. But don't think you're out of the woods yet. »

 _Oooops he's mad_.

The nervous giggle escaping Yasuo wasn't intended. Suddenly, he was scared for himself. Not that he was ticklish but if tried hard enough, he would be rendered helpless. Not unlike what he just did to Yi. _Help_.

But it seemed like Yi opted for something else. He leaned down, just over Yasuo's face, appreciating the impressed gaze meeting his. Under him, the latter held his breath at this short distance, eager mouth hovering over his. There was a claim to be made. Certain of the outcome, Yasuo closed his eyes, not sure he could handle that.

Then the move was made : after considering the flustered man, Yi pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. Not quite what they wanted but enough. _Not ready yet_. As quick, Yi rose to leave him some space, letting go of his hands. Yasuo was just registering the unkiss as he brought a curious hand to the spot touched, like it was still present.

Admiring his handiwork, Yi saw the blush intensified. _Well, not today it seems. We will try another time_.

Aware of his position on top of Yasuo, he moved to his side. A small thought crossed his mind, indecent but present nonetheless. Yi decided it was a bit soon to get out of bed so he lay down next to Yasuo, in need for a cuddle.

It got Yasuo out of his stupor, as he welcomed closer his bedmate.

Innerly, he was screaming.


	22. Chapter 22

Yi knew it would take some time to make Yasuo at ease, till they could both enjoy completely their relationship. There was no need to rush him, since every previous occasion he couldn't make a move. _He still learning. Trying to allow himself happiness_. It would take time to come in term with that.

Days followed, fleeing like leaves caught by a stream and it only proved Yi right.

The good surprise was the slight change in behaviour, a new approach. Even at the beginning, when they just started sharing their daily life, it was past the usual politeness of friendship. Sleeping in the same bed with the pretext of a night without nightmare, it was so motivated it made Yi sigh fondly. Had it been another person, things would have gone different. _But as always, with 'what if-s' so much would be changed_. So to say, their 'usual' was already really far from the standards. And they grew even closer as time passed, still playing at the edge of friendship.

Before, there were casual touch, pecks untold, cuddles in the safety of the dark, unbreakable grasps. All of this kept under silence, neither wanting to point out how unusual it would seem. Then they made sure it would become their usual. Still they didn't acknowledge it, fearing it would put off the other. They just kept relishing the instants, unnamed affection because how knows ? Maybe it would come to an end one day.

Now every single action meant everything. Both knew these small touch were made out of love, out of need. Yi noticed how the frequency of these attentions increased in one go. Indeed Yasuo had always been at his side most of the time, it didn't change. But now there was an almost constant contact. Yi wasn't even sure the other man himself was aware of it. Of how each time he kept reaching for Yi.

A hand on his shoulder, on his back but never below the belt, as curious it may sound. Sometime Yasuo embraced him while they chatted, not even sparing it a thought. Sometime he rested his chin on Yi's shoulder when the latter was busy with some task. _This is peculiarly cute_.

Always a kind of touch was made. Yi didn't mind the least. Seeked it, even so.

With this new displays of affection came also the pet names. These were the real change. Because Yasuo took to heart to express the swirl of feelings brought by each glance in Yi's direction. Before they would never voice it, in case it wasn't mutual. To Yi's great embarrassment, each new name was a new reason to blush, unaccustomed to such easy expression of love.

It seemed like a new game for Yasuo, to see which pet name could get Yi just right, depending on the intensity of the blush. 'Cutie' and 'sunshine' had been close ones but nothing could beat the cheer confusion painting red Yi's face when he was called 'beloved'. This day was also one of the few when Yi would deliberately punch Yasuo. Just another reason to keep going.

But Yi still noted that the other man's first way of expression was through actions. All his emotions were reflected in the contact, the reaching. _No wonder why he keeps blaming himself for his actions, the killing, the massacres_. It hold too much importance for Yasuo.

So Yi made sure every time to accept the touch, show it was welcome. Implicitly, it meant he was accepting Yasuo's love.

Never had Yasuo felt so free. To feel, to tell, to do. At first he was thrilled by all the possibilities and it didn't disappoint him. To be able to touch Yi without any reason. It was so easy now. And it felt right.

Each time he did, the latter would never seem bothered, like it was a part of their life now. _Domesticity_. Yasuo would not call that intimacy, felt like it wasn't quite correct. _We're not here. Yet_. What would it mean ? To get to see each other naked, to shower together, and other nice ideas. But for now it seemed impossible. Even though Yasuo would gladly share their lifes to this point. And no need to talk about sex, this subject was one he avoided at all cost. Because he knew himself too weak to resist to a few wandering thoughts, sweet suggestions fantasized. One day it would leave him physically frustrated. _Maybe he's not interested in this kind of stuff_.

Anyway, the craving for more would never disappear.

At some point their now happy routine was stopped. He saw Yi getting ready to go outside but not with his usual light clothing. A piece of armor, boots and also his blade. Curious, Yasuo watched him do, leaving enough room for him.

« Are you going somewhere ? » he asked, a bit of uncertainty heard.

« Indeed. » the answer itself was calm, as if there was nothing to worry. « I need to go down to one of the towns of the isle, to get some food. »

« Ooooooh ok. »

 _See ? All is good. No problem_.

« While we're talking, is there something specific you need ? Not too extravagant, of course but tell me anyway. »

 _Huhhh ?_

Yasuo paused to think about it shortly. Then an idea came up : « Alcohol ! It's been a long time since my last drink. Is that fine for you ? »

The amused smile he found was something to remember : « I should have expected that. Though, no need to buy some, I already have a bottle of sake somewhere in the house. »

« What ? And you never thought about telling me ? » in an outraged tone, a bit exaggerated for the joke.

A light laugh answered him : « I just didn't think about it, that's all. » Finished, Yi headed to the door, quickly followed by the latter, who took the opportunity to hug him from behind.

« Hey. » whispered so softly as Yi turned his face to Yasuo. « I will be back before the sunset. Promise. »

Yasuo held him tighter, arms around his torso and waist, keeping silent. He felt Yi's hand blindly trying to ruffle his hair. So he left a kiss to his cheek, a bit longer than a simple peck then let him go. « You know where to find me, beautiful. Just go back to me safely. »

A few steps taken, Yi responded : « I will. No need to worry for me. »

Standing at the door to the terrace, Yasuo watched him go.

Then Yi turned again to face him, grinning : « If you find the bottle before I come back, you're allowed to drink it. »

« So you can find me dead drunk on your terrace ? No thanks ! I will wait for you ! »

The laugh coming next was as blessed as fire during winter, so heartwarming, as Yi reached the woods then disappeared of Yasuo's vision.

 _Precious_


	23. Chapter 23

Yi was gone for half an hour and Yasuo was already bored.

 _Damnit. Waiting the sunset will be long_.

There was indeed several inconveniences : he was now alone, with silence as only companion in the quiet village. Used to solitude by his forced exile, it didn't bother him much. But Ui's absence, that was something else. No one to follow and chat with. No one to cuddle. Yasuo was truly pining for him.

 _Lovesick like a fucking teenager_.

Things were this way, he couldn't help that particular trait. Yi never left him indifferent, it was kind of funny to realize. Laying down on the floor of the living room, Yasuo let his thoughts wander a bit. He had time to do so.

 _We didn't kiss yet…._ That was his matter at hands for a few days. Well, it has been even longer since he wanted to but here he was. Yasuo knew perfectly he was the reason it didn't happen yet. Despite the occasions, he just didn't. As simply as that. _Such a cowaaaaaard_. Showing any kind of affection, pet names, hugs, all that was easy to do but _can't ask a fucking kiss ? Hell._

And he was sure at 100 % that Yi wanted it, at least in the same amount of motivation. _He's the one doing the first step everytime_. Yasuo had the decency to blush.

 _Gonna need a lot of courage_. Even now he had no idea why he did nothing. It was maddening. _Or maybe I just need to get a bit drunk and it would wo- AH ! The bottle !_

Yasuo jumped to his feet, with a new quest to kill boredom. Humming to himself, he started the research in the kitchen. After some time, he lost a bit his patience. _Come on_. So he looked around the living room. And again he found nothing. The bathroom would really be the last place in the village to store a bottle so Yasuo considered Yi's room.

This was a sacred place to his eyes, where yes he was allowed but it remained Yi's room. Go looking in his host's things ticked him a bit. But after all, Yi didn't forbid him anything.

In total, it took Yasuo more than an hour to find the alcohol, kept securely in one of the closets of the room. _One victory for today_. On another note, Yasuo got some wild thoughts when during this search he found a small bottle of lube, in the same closet than the sake.

Alcohol sitting prominently on the living room table, Yasuo flopped back on the floor. _I swear I'll never go through his things again_. Right now he was more than embarrassed, red coloring efficiently his cheeks. _Well, at least I can guess he isn't asexual_. Then Yasuo hit himself for having such thoughts. _This knowledge will not help me if I'm too dumb to even make a move_.

A defeated sigh left him. _What can I do now ?_ Yasuo knew that if he stayed again to think, it would come back as quick to his 'find'. And then no way to distract himself from the craving.

Getting to his feet once again, he decided to go out and explore further the village. The last time, when he went looking for Yi, he didn't notice the path to the waterfall. He deduced that maybe other hidden places existed. It would give him a good occupation.

There wasn't much he didn't see before, in fact. A few path seemed to lead further in the mountains, another down the village. Yasuo followed each a little then turned back on his tracks when it was clear it had a destination.

In the village itself, nothing really new to him. There were a few gardens, a place that would have been a pratice ground. All seemed really empty now, abandoned. Since there was no one to take care of it, nature itself took the reins and kept the gardens flowered.

Yasuo discovered something, though. In the background of the village, not easily found, there was a cemetery. It made sense, it was a village after all. But he found it unsettling, to say the least. More than the half of the graves were quite recent, more than the others. And all these seemed to date from the same time, in opposition to very old ones. Yasuo felt a bit sick when the reality fell on him. It was Yi's work. Of course, that was evident. Since all the villagers died, he had to take care of their bodies and funerals. To give them the respect deserved. _How horrible._

Once his exploration over, he went back to the house. Yasuo picked the book he started last time then sat on the terrace for a good read.

Usually, Yi wouldn't go too fast on his way back home, to prevent useless exhaustion. This time he made an exception, the longing too strong. Carrying his purchases, he made his way through the mountains. This was basically routine, a known path used every time. But there was always this thought, a reminder : _what if there was no one home ?_ Just like when he came back from the war. Maybe he would find desolation again. No, he chased away the suggestion.

Once he made it to the familiar woods, he relaxed a bit, glad to be back home. To join Yasuo. How strange it was to go back, knowing someone was there to greet him.

Speaking of the devil, Yi had only made a few steps in the village he was already caught by the welcoming embrace of his guest. So he stopped to return fully the hug, even if quite burdened.

« I'm home. » a murmur against skin.

Yasuo parted and brought his hands to cup Yi's face, before planting a kiss to his forehead. His gaze expressed a rare kind of relief and barely contained joy. « Missed you. »

Then he took Yi's bag and led both of them to the house.

« Oh, I see you found the bottle. » the tone wanted to be smug but failed, sounding amused.

« Yep ! Too bored, I had to do something. »

« Like the book you left on the terrace ? »

« Ah, forgot it when you arrived. Sorry ! » upon this, Yasuo took it back to its place.

« So you didn't open the sake ? Let do it after dinner. »

« Yes ! »

Once their meal finished, Yasuo went to clean the dishes while Yi looked for the cups reserved to sake.

« Here, let's start slowly. » as Yi poured some for each other.

« Hell no, it's been my first drink in years. I don't care if I get wasted. »

« You're a grown man, the choice is yours. Just be careful, you might do something you would regret later. » as he took a sip of the alcohol. The burn was quite appreciated.

Yasuo drained his cup then poured himself another one : « I already regret many things. A hungover isn't as important. »

« I wasn't talking about a hungover. » as he talked Yasuo shuffled closer to him, to keep him in contact.

Things went on for the evening. At some point, Yasuo asked the other man about his small trip. Alcohol helping, Yi relaxed further in the loose embrace he was kept in.

« And once you pass the col, there is a good sight on the sea. Really far but always beautiful. »

« Oh I didn't notice much when I came from the main island. You know, being chased and all... » Yasuo speech was a bit slurred by now, a clue on his increasing inebriated state. By now, he was practically leaning against Yi. So close, so close.

Little by little, he lost track of the conversation as it grew impossible to follow. Right now, all he wanted was to cuddle Yi, stay close, feel him.

« Ah shit... » he thought out loud.

« What's wrong ? » even with the alcohol running a bit much in him, Yi still had enough mind to pay attention.

« S'nothing. Hmmm, I think I had enough sake for... » Yasuo made an attempt at sitting by himself and succeeded, though with as much grace than a noxian (none).

« For tonight ? I thought you could take more. » the smile was hard to repress.

« Nah. Enough for this. »

Without warning, Yasuo leaned close as he grabbed Yi's collar then kissed him hard. The latter registered it as fast as he could, with difficulties, at last reciprocating. This made Yasuo moan into the kiss like a lovestruck virgin. This long waited claim was sloppy, tasting like alcohol but it did make it even better. Hands gripped each other's clothes, in a frenzy.

When breathing became a necessity, they parted but just enough to pant heavily and dive into another kiss. Yi lost it completely as he felt the hint of fangs, a big turn on.

 _At last_.

Yasuo pulled off, gazing at the man before him with lust-filled eyes. He pushed Yi till he was back to the floor, under Yasuo. Lips reddened sinfully, he wanted so much right now.

But a last rational thought before all the others were thrown away : « I-Is it okay ? »

Yi answered him without hesitation : « Yes. » as he yanked Yasuo down for another crushing kiss.

The latter went down just a little, busying himself with marking Yi's neck after opening unceremoniously his clothing. No bites, just a passionnate worship intending to adorn the pale skin. Despite himself, Yasuo started grinding down on him, trying to get a bit of relief for his growing arousal.

A moan made its way out of Yi when he felt the erection pressed to his, getting overwhelmed slowly but surely. A roll of his hips then Yasuo made a similar noise above him, interrupting shortly the marking.

Yi kicked off his trousers and tried to have Yasuo do the same. The latter stopped his attentions to comply as soon as possible. The first touch between their cocks felt incredible, making both chase the friction with desperation. Groans ripped deep from their chests, they set a quick pace. Yi brought a hand between them to take a hold on both, precum slicking the grasp.

Never had Yasuo thought about such sweet noises coming out of Yi.

« I need you. Please. » he went back to kissing the man beneath him, as he fucked in his hand. Yi was panting heavily, focusing on bringing them to climax. He felt Yasuo's hands on him, pawing where he could, all over him, so close they would melt.

Then Yasuo tensed, spilling his load on Yi's hand and his torso and chest. Face buried in the crook of Yi's neck, he rode his climax violently, giving a loud moan. He went limp and collapsed forward.

Under him, Yi was writhing as he chased the same bliss, an urgent hand jerking himself off.

« Please... » he sounded so helpless it got Yasuo out of his high. Joining his hand to Yi, he speeded the pace while he sucked a last mark to the latter's neck. Yi came with a cry, back arching off the floor as his release mixed with Yasuo's.

While Yi attempted to catch his breath, the latter whispered sweet nothings to his ear, endearments for doing so good. His voice lowered till silence.

After a bit of calm, Yi turned to look at the other man and realized that he fell asleep. Right then and there. The concept itself was so funny, it made Yi laugh softly at his situation. Trapped under his now lover, after rutting at each other. _With alcohol_. He sighed. _Tomorrow will be a real challenge_.

Time made their past release quite uncomfortable so Yi decided to take a shower. With great care to avoid waking Yasuo – even though it was unlikely – he managed to get out of the embrace. Deeming the latter a bit messy, Yi took the effort to clean him up, just enough not to soil their bed. Then he carried Yasuo to the room and tucked him in for sleep.

His mind now lightened, he went for a shower, feeling past filthy. Once undressed of his remanant clothing, Yi noticed the marks blooming over his neck, throat and collarbone. It was really impressive and in a way, he felt loved even more.

Once cleaned up, he put on some night clothes then joined Yasuo. The latter didn't even stir when he slipped under the blanket.

 _Well, what an evening_.


	24. Chapter 24

He woke up with sunlight splattering his face and that alone would be a good reason to hate morning. Yi didn't move, though. Thinking about it, it looked like past noon, maybe more. _Ugh_. Without opening his eyes, he tried to take note of his surroundings. Of course, Yasuo was snuggled up to him, face hidden against his chest and arms loose around him. And oh the latter managed to open slightly his clothing in their sleep. _Someone is eager_. It made Yi smile fondly.

 _Time for a check-up. Head hurts but it was to be expected. A bit nauseous too. Could have been worse_.

It wasn't so bad, glad for not having drank too much last night. _On the other hand, Yasuo…_ Yi was sure the other man would have some difficulties to wake up. For now he was asleep but soon enough he will have to face the consequences of his choice. _Told him so_. But well, Yasuo already knew what he signed for, as he said.

The real question was whether he remembered all of the night or just some parts. Because Yi did remember all of it. At the same time, he was more cautious with his alcohol consumption than Yasuo. _I'm rather sure he forgot some things_. _Sadly_. Yi took a decision, just in case. He would wait and see Yasuo's reaction before starting anything.

He sighed a the memories of this crazy night. _Looks like with enough liquor in him he could achieve whatever he wants_. Though Yi disapproved such method to get enough courage to make a move, he was also glad to see this step taken. _And what a step_. From sweet cuddles to devouring kisses, to shameless sex, just in one evening. _Dear gods, we humped each other like teenagers_. The memory was still vivid and it brought pink to Yi's face. This crude display of mutual love and lust.

 _Oh, maybe I still have the marks he left_.

Yi wanted to see it. Just to be certain in wasn't some deep wet dream. So he got out of the embrace, slwly enough to leave Yasuo the rest he needed. The latter shifted in his sleep but didn't seem to wake up.

Now that he was standing, Yi's headache became a little more bothering but it was still bearable. In the bathroom, he looked for painkillers, quickly found and taken. He reserved some for Yasuo too. _He will need that greatly_.

Then Yi went to face the mirror. His clothing, loosened during the night, already gave a glimpse of Yasuo's handiwork. He took off completely the fabric to reveal a myriad of hickeys, courtesy of the latter. Some fade out a bit in the night, but there still were a good dozen of them on his skin. _He doesn't do things by halves_. Yet, knowing Yasuo took care of not using his sharp teeth made a gentle warmth spread to Yi's heart.

Thinking of his last decision, he put back his clothing in a way concealing most of the marked skin. _It's for the better. Still don't know how he will react_.

There was a noise coming from their room, taking Yi back to reality. Worried, he gathered the painkillers and a glass of water before heading to the source of the voice. As he thought, it turned out to be Yasuo, now awake. Or better say, more awake than ten minutes ago. Right now Yi could see him curled up in the blanket, keeping his face hidden with great pain. Silence was broken by an agonizing whimper. _Life is like this sometime_. Joke aside, Yi felt a lot of compassion for his condition. _Hangovers can be horrible_.

It was time to take the matter at hands.

Coming to Yasuo's side, he didn't try from the start to get him to sit. Instead, Yi untied his hair – something he forgot last night – then ran his hand through dark locks, to calm him down. « Shhhhhh. I know it hurts like hell but I need you to sit. »

With more coaxing, Yasuo complied while keeping his eyes shut. A bit carried away, their foreheads met and Yi maintained this small contact. There was a muttered : « Fuck... »

« Yes indeed but for now, do as I say. Please. » Yi's voice was gentle, soothing. « Open your eyes. »

Yasuo did as asked, though it caused him more pain because of the sunlight bathing the room. But he kept his gaze intently on Yi's, struggling to focus.

« Here, painkillers. You'll need it. » there was no need to push further the latter as he drained it down in one second. Then they didn't move for some time, till Yasuo started to relax. During the wait, Yi rubbed circles on his back, in this quiet hug.

« Thanks. » at last Yasuo spoke up.

« We're not done. That was the easy part. How are you feeling ? »

« Head hurted so much but now it's better. And there's too much light, how can we even live with that ? » even now his voice was low, almost rasping.

« That's good. Now get up, it's time to move. » determination flooded his tone.

« Where ? Please no I don't want to move…. » quite plaintive.

« We have to or you will not get better sooner. »

Yi got to his feet then went to help Yasuo doing the same, though it was hard. Anyway, he succeeded, to Yasuo's chagrin. The latter was almost entirely leaning on him as Yi guided him outside. In this starting afternoon, keeping his eyes open was too painful so he let himself being carried by Yi. The small walk last a bit, making him wonder for the destination at first then thinking was too difficult so Yasuo stopped caring.

As they walked, Yi asked him : « What do you remember from the night ? »

 _No_. He didn't think about that yet but since it was brought up, Yasuo could only realize it. There was just a big blank in his memories. He panicked a bit. « Ah….. Erm I remember we drank, a lot. Mostly me, though. But at some point, there is nothing. »

« Nothing ? You forgot what happened next ? » there was a hint of emotion in his voice.

« Something happened ? Wait, did I do something stupid ? » here came more panick. Because who knew what could happen once Yasuo got drunk.

« Relax and breathe, nothing bad. Must not have been really important if you can't remember it. »

Yasuo calmed down a little but still remained confused, trying his damnest to find some memories. Then they came to a stop. He was still too tired and hurting to dare take a look at the place. Yi was still at his side, supporting him. Fleetingly, he registered the noise of water but it kept blurring and mixing in his mind.

« Yasuo. » he sounded a bit too serious.

« Hmmm ? » a proper answer couldn't be offered but he still tried to pay attention.

« I hope you will forgive me one day. »

« Huh ? »

Then the second after Yi merely dunked him in the pond.

The sudden icy feeling, piercing his skin, made him let out a honest screech. The level of the water was so Yasuo had been for a short time completely immerged in this freezing hell. After a quick panick, he got again his footing and as fast as possible returned to dry land.

During this comical scene, Yi took off the top of his clothing then got into the water, as the same moment Yasuo tried to escape it. While he focused to avoid the cold searing his being, the latter sat just next to the pond, body trembling. All this as he cursed under his breath, shocked, hugging himself to get a bit of heat.

Despite the harsh method, it seemed to work, his thoughts now cleared a bit. Still very shaken, Yasuo gazed at the other man, who seemed to take way better than him this 'bath'.

« Damn you. You could have told me ! » even his voice shivered.

Yi went back to him, getting out of the pond. « I could but you would have refused to do so. I apologize. » as small peace offering, he took his clothing and draped on Yasuo's shoulders.

As he was doing so, kneeling in front of him, the latter's gaze got caught, as the same time than his breath. He had a full view of Yi's front, and so of his bare chest. Marked. Many many marks. On his neck, throat, collarbone. There was no misunderstanding possible on the context these were given. Yasuo tried to count them all, each one giving him an even brighter blush. He brought his hand to one mark, but he couldn't resolve himself to touch. _Impossible_.

« What is that ? » he croaked, voice full of disbelief.

As usual, Yi didn't miss the increasing fluster of the man and soon enough he connected the dots and sighed.

« You know very well what this is. »


	25. Chapter 25

Yasuo retreated his hand immediatly.

« I... did this ? » his voice turned out strangled.

« Yes you did. » calm tone, careful. Yi's eyes studied the latter, gauging his reaction.

 _Ah. AH. AHHHHHHHHHHH._

It was a real conflict of emotions. Part of Yasuo was truly shocked by his own actions and scared on a rare scale but the other part was unraptured by the sight, the mere idea of his marks over Yi's skin. It had been something he fantasized for a long time, to give him mmmmh deeper affection, the kind visible for a day or more. _Like he was mine_.

But fear took over this temporary contemplation. Because since he left such intimate affection to Yi, it also meant Yasuo could have done more, in the same vein. He couldn't remember and he dreaded his memories. _What did I do ?_ There was something coming up, but it seemed too unreal to be true, a remanant of a dream.

Yi looked concerned as he observed this slow break down happening. Surely because of Yasuo's wild gaze, surrending to panick.

« Did I do something else ? » he didn't dare looking away, not now. There were times when a man had to face his mistakes.

It took Yi a bit of time to answer, searching for the good words that wouldn't worsen the situation.

« Yes, but you're not the only one. You really don't remember anything of the night ? »

« No ! I remember nothing. Nothing ! » he shouted, losing his cool. « What do you mean 'not the only one' ? I did more than hurting, biting you, no ? Did I went further ? Did I... did I raped you ? »

During all this, Yasuo would have grabbed Yi, to transmit his doubts, his fear. But he refused to lay a hand on him ever again. His own touch disgusted him.

After such outburst, Yi was at loss, astounded by the questioning. « That's what you think ? That you abused me ? » With enough care not to alarm Yasuo, he took his hand to entwine with him.

Yasuo nodded without hesitation, trembling under the latter's gaze, even if there was no trace of anger or disapproval in it. Though he was quite reluctant to take this fond gesture Yi initiated. Yasuo was there, sitting in the grass like waiting for his judgment.

Yi seemed puzzled : « How to put it simply ? You did nothing wrong last night. All that happened was welcome and appreciated. Really, there is nothing to blame yourself for. »

It was Yasuo's turn to search for his words. _Welcome ? Appreciated ?_ He squeezed Yi's hand, not entirely by his own will. « You sure… ? »

The answer came with a hint of annoyance, but easy to know it was just an act : « I thought I was clear when I expressed my feelings for you. Though I know till then we didn't go this far, this 'deeper' intimacy is something I wanted for a long time. Don't think I wasn't an active participant. »

The insinuation spinned in Yasuo's mind. _An active participant…._ The fluster stayed as lively as before. « The intimacy… I want it too. » he muttered.

« I know it, from last night enthusiasm. » Yi laughed, and it made Yasuo feel better like everytime. « But I'm glad to hear you say it. Without the alcohol helping. »

Yasuo let out a held breath, relieved. _At least I didn't ruin everything_. Yi ruffled Yasuo's hair at the occasion, for the cheer feeling it could give. As result, both laughed and it felt so good, Yasuo forgot the chill embracing his being, the fact that they were sitting in the grass while they slowly caught a cold. Well, Yasuo surely. Maybe not Yi. Anyway they ended up leaning to each other till their forehead touched.

Then Yasuo registered the absence of distance and parted as fast. « Errrrrm can you tell me what happened in details, please ? » It offered a quick distraction.

« As you wish but please be ready for the information you're asking me. » Yi sounded like his usual composed self, plus a very out of character touch of mischief.

This got Yasuo uneasy. _Oh no. Is it a good idea to know ?_ He couldn't help but imagine what he did, what they did. Given Yi's tone, it wasn't some drunken cuddles in the middle of the living room. _Good gods_.

Yi could read him like a book, bringing him a smile as the confused sight before him occurred. « Relax, it's not that interesting. Or maybe not. »

« Just get on with it ! » tone betraying a bit of impatience and worry.

« Very well. So, we got drunk, you far more quicker than me. At some point, you looked like you just took a decision then you kissed me. And I responded, of course. »

« WE KISSED ? »

« Hey, no need to scream. Yes we did. »

That was it. Yasuo was so done with himself. « We kissed…. ? » _And I don't remember_.

« Yes. » neutral tone, waiting for Yasuo to comprehend. « May I continue ? »

That bewildered look didn't left the latter but he nodded nonetheless.

« It didn't stop here : we made out for a long time, I can't remember how long but it felt exquisite. Then you pushed me back to the floor, marked me like a starved beast and we grinded against each other till we came. That's all. »

Right now, Yasuo would be extremely pale if he wasn't equally flushed red because of such steamy ideas. His hands twitched a bit, fidgeting. « So we really had sex... » said with a small voice.

« Yes indeed. But not all the way in, I should point out. »

Yasuo choke. « How can you say that so easily ? »

« If you think I'm not making a big deal of it, you're wrong. You know, I did wanted this. It was so messy and hot, truly shameless, I loved every second of it. But I don't want to cause you regrets, since you don't remember it. » the tone was so dreamy, it was like he talked of a honeymoon. It only made Yasuo even more bothered and red.

« What happened next ? »

« You fell asleep on me right after the fun. So I cleaned up then went to sleep with you. You already know what comes next. »

With his free hand Yasuo hid his face, ashamed. _Damnit_. « I apologize. For letting you down this night. »

« Don't, please. Even though you kept no memory of this, I enjoyed it greatly. Looks like it was all you needed to make a move. » upon these words, Yi brought Yasuo's hand to his lips, giving him a peck. « Tell me, would it be fine to have sex again ? I would very like to. »

 _That's my chance. Don't be a coward_.

« Yes please. » eagerness showed a bit in his voice, through all the strain. « I swear this time I'll not drink. »

Here they were, two blushing idiots sitting in the grass near the pond. Like nothing bad could happen to them.

That was it, happiness.


	26. Chapter 26

The instant was stopped as quick by Yasuo's sneeze.

« Time to get moving, before you catch a cold. » Yi announced while he got to his feet then offered a hand to help Yasuo.

« Thanks. » he followed immediately the latter on the way back home. « Shit, I'm really freezing… And you just going around half naked ? That's unfair ! »

Yi grinned as he waited Yasuo : « I'm used to the mountains climate. No doubt that it feels too harsh for someone of the main island. A good reason to hurry. »

« Hey, don't make fun of me ! I can't even imagine when it's winter, you people are freaks for living here. »

« So no outsiders could find us. But that's not really important now. »

To keep the other man warm – or at least try to – Yi took Yasuo at his side, sliding an arm around his waist. The latter accepted it without a word, leaning closer. Then he sighed.

« What's wrong ? You sound like a sulking child. »

« Nothing. » Yasuo's voice was a bit melancholic.

« And now you're acting one. Please tell me. »

« Really, it's not important. I'm just angry against myself. » just a hint of emotion behind these words.

« About last night ? Grumbling about it will change nothing, it's past. Focus instead on what we could be now that we made a new step. »

« I know I shouldn't give it too much regrets. But still, it was our first kiss. » there was a tad of sadness voiced here.

Yi stopped on their way and looked at the latter : « That's why you're upset ? About forgetting our first kiss ? »

« I know it silly but… I care a bout that stuff. »

« I'm not mocking you. I just didn't think you were the romantic type. It's cute. »

« Well, things are this way. Always liked this kind of stories, even though it's dumb. » Yasui sighed again, on the same tone.

« As I said, it already happened and we can do nothing about it. But I understand why you're angry. Maybe we could do something to put it right ? »

« Eh ? It's done, we can't redo this…. »

« But since you don't remember last night, the next kiss will be your first. »

 _It's logical…_ Yasuo understood the reasoning. _Why not ?_

The second after, he was suddenly picked up and he found himself in Yi's arms, bridal style. _Holy fuck !_ All happened very quickly, without warning so Yasuo felt a bit uncomfortable to loose his footing. But then he registered his position and fully appreciated the display of strenght, just for him.

Right now, they were to eye level as Yi admired the short-circuit he caused, the red tint coming back to Yasuo's cheek.

« What is that for ? » the latter managed, despite the non distance between them.

« You make a big deal of our first kiss so I guess you'd like one better than the result of intoxication. Is it romantic enough ? »

« Right now ? » _Ahhhhhhhh_.

« Right then and there. But only if it's to your liking. » Yi sounded to smooth and calm, at the opposite of Yasuo.

Yasuo tried to think fast, debating innerly but this time there wasn't much reasons to back away. _It's O.K. He wants it, I want it_. He knew that if he said only one word about not deserving love, Yi would give him an earful about it.

 _Fuck this_.

He put his hands on either sides of Yi's head then went for this kiss in one beat. Eyes closed, Yasuo felt his heart pounding too fast as he melted a bit in the warm contact. Then he parted to catch his breath. For a few seconds they just had their eyes locked on each other, with the same genuine joy sparkling in it.

Then they came back for another kiss, torrid and opened up to deepen the kiss, arms lacing around Yi's shoulder and head to keep him the closest possible. The latter moaned at the not so unfamiliar feeling of sharp fangs into the embrace.

Slowly, Yi put the man back to his feet as they resumed the frantic making out.

They eventually stopped when a shiver shook Yasuo's whole frame, enough to get Yi's attention.

« Okay, let's really go home. » the tone was intended to be composed but in fact Yi was betrayed by his deep blush.

« Yes, yes. » equally troubled. _We did it. We did it. We did it_.

Once at home, Yasuo relaxed a bit. The kiss was still on his mind, not yet over it as he made sure to engrave it in his memories.

Yi went looking for things in their room then came back with towels. « Here, take one. You should take a shower, to keep you warm. I'll take one after you're done. » there was this gentleness in his voice.

« Or we shower together. If you want to ? » he wasn't sure yet about the new boundaries so he prefered to ask.

« Gladly. » a happy smile on his face.

Yasuo sighed of relief and went to the bathroom with the other man. As Yi took off his trousers and pants, the latter paused to fully watch it, not even trying to hide his starved gaze.

Of course, Yi noticed and it brought more pink to his face to be the center of the attention. Done, he gave a peck to Yasuo's mouth before stepping in the shower. He let the water ran a bit till it got warm enough. Yasuo took it as a hint to hurry up so he stripped the fastest he could before joining Yi.

First, both relaxed under the water, taking from time to time a kiss, chaste touches. Yi took care of Yasuo's hair, helping him with the shampoo. But soon enough it slipped after they started cleaning each other. Still behind Yasuo, the latter was busying himself with soaping him down but hands wandered a bit. As he stepped closer, Yi took his sweet time stroking, caressing firm muscle under his palm, dedicating to memory what his hands met.

« Tell me to stop…. » his voice turned out slightly husky, making Yasuo shiver despite the warmth.

« Please, more... » he would be a bit ashamed of how small he sounded but right now he didn't care. Yasuo didn't want this to stop.

So Yi complied gladly, hands resting on Yasuo's chest. Applying a bit of pressure, playing with his nipples till a small noise made its way out of Yasuo, who at last brought his arm to rest against the wall for support. Curious, Yi's hand went lower till he found what he was looking for. He took Yasuo's now hard cock in hand and gave a few long strokes, waiting for a reaction. Yi closed the distance between them so they were skin to skin. His erection brushed against Yasuo, making the latter even more aroused, to the point where he turned and pinned Yi to the wall while diving for an urgent kiss.

The shower was completely forgotten. Yasuo pulled away enough to speak up : « Yi. Let me apologize for last night. » he gave a last peck to Yi's lips before sinking to his knees.

Yi's eventual protest died on his tongue, mouth running dry at the sight under him. With no preamble, Yasuo got to work, sucking gently the tip. Looking up, he saw that gaze full of wonder and arousal directed to him and it only motivated him to do his best. A languorous lick on the underside of Yi's cock then he went down on him, quickly rewarded by a loud moan.

Burying a hand in long locks, Yi struggled a bit to keep his vocal reaction down, process made difficult by Yasuo's eagerness to please. Leaning back against the tiles, he let himself go little by little in this wet warmth.

Yasuo wasn't done yet, coaxing the latter into following the thrusts. Already he could taste Yi's end on his tongue and that spurred him to do more.

 _That won't do_. He pulled off. « I want to hear you. don't keep such sweet noises for yourself. »

There was the telltale of tears glistening in Yi's eyes as he nodded shakily.

Yasuo ignored his own need, prefering to prioritize Yi's. He resumed his worship. Above him, moans were let out freely, the latter not trying anymore to restrain it.

« Yasuo… I will... » that was the signal Yasuo awaited. Under his touch, Yi was surrending to pleasure, bit by bit.

The latter relaxed his throat to take him fully. One time, Yi gave a broken moan. The second time, his cock hit the back of Yasuo's throat and it was enough to get him over the edge, back describing a large arch. Yasuo struggled as he tried to rein his breathing as the latter spilled his load. Idly he registered a muffled thud but right now he was enraptured by that intense climax he offered.

At the same time, Yi collapsed, sliding down the wall to his knees.

Looking at him, Yasuo saw him clutching the back of his head : « Hey, you alright ? » he was genuinely worried.

« 'M fine. » Yi laughed but it sounded like a cry. « I just hit my head against the wall. It doesn't even hurt anymore. »

« Wait really ? Fuck, I'm sorry. »

« Not your fault. Eh, take that as a compliment. You gave it to me so good I knocked myself out. »

« Stop this, you will make me blush. Seriously, will you be O.K ? »

« Yes, don't worry. » Yi stood up, taking a quick second to gain his balance then stopped the shower. He went to the sink and handed a glass of water to Yasuo. « Now, it's my turn to repay you the favor. What would you like ? »

Yasuo accepted the glass and downed it, glad to wash off the taste. « It depends. What are you comfortable with ? » there were a few ideas he got in mind indeed, coloring his ears and cheeks at the thought.

« For you ? Anything, as long as you're not asking me to harm you. Too much, I mean. » Yi gave a hand to Yasuo, so he stood up. A short kiss was offered. « Blow job ? Hand job ? Tell me. »

As he waited Yasuo's answer, Yi went back to give him some relief, hand loose around his cock.

Yasuo collected himself then tried : « Fingering ? If you're fine with this ? » He averted his gaze.

« No problem. Just wait a second, I'll fetch the lube. » then Yi was gone in an flash, just to come back as fast with the bottle.

The latter didn't dare to look up while Yi was slicking his hand, neither when he stepped into his space to get him to relax. « Yasuo. That's what you asked, no need to look away. Just tell me if you want to stop or something else. »

This time, Yasuo met his gaze and surely the shyness Yi found there was the reason he smiled fondly. Yi kissed him, slow and languid, a distraction as he gently circled his hole. The latter tensed slightly against him then let him do. When Yi at last pushed a finger in, Yasuo whimpered in the kiss. On this occasion, the latter put again his graps on Yasuo's erection to provide the needed friction.

Yasuo held tightly Yi in his arms, back to the wall as two fingers now stretched him in his most vulnerable place. With a short time to learn, Yi managed to find his prostate, brushing the spot repeatedly. Now out of breath, there was no obstacle for Yasuo's moans, falling right to Yi's ear.

Three fingers, that was all it took to reduce Yasuo to a mess, scissoring, pushing in and out with care and accuracy. Now he leaned on Yi, writhing in that dear promise of climax, so close.

Feeling Yasuo's orgasm creeping slowly but surely, Yi went to his neck, sucking a mark as he gave him the last hard strokes he needed.

Then he came, crying out his pleasure in the crook of Yi's neck, body tensing as the latter helped him through it. His semence painted white Yi's hand, some on both of them. While he came down his high, Yi started again the water to clean them up for good.

When it was done, they stayed in the steam of the bathroom, pressing lazy kisses to any expanse of skin they could reach.

 _So good_.


	27. Chapter 27

« Thank you, that was very good. »

Even though spoken lowly, Yasuo's words broke the silence of this lively afternoon. They were in the gardens down the village, Yi meditating after his own routine while the latter lay down in the grass, head pillowed by Yi's lap. After their short meal, Yasuo hadn't yet recovered from the night so all he did was hanging around, though always keeping the other man in reach.

He used this time to sort out what happened recently, trying not to let it go to his head to quickly. So much good memories, such a delectable development. Never he would have imagined the turn it could take if he took a mere step. Yasuo felt so lucky and grateful to this man, who had been so patient with him.

It interrupted Yi but he didn't show any discomfort or annoyance from that : « It was, indeed. And I thank you too. An experience to remember and to repeat in the near future, I hope. »

He gave his full attention to the man resting below and their gazes met. It was the kind of eye contact where only each other mattered and nothing else, just mutual fondness. Yasuo raised a hand to caress the latter's face, quite clumsily because of his own position but at least it made Yi laugh softly.

« I want it too. » Yasuo said as pink colored faintly his face, reaction to the precious sight above him. _Sunshine… That's truly fitting_.

Yi mirrored the touch, thumb brushing the cheek in a calm pattern. But soon enough it changed of place, Yasuo noticed. Yi made him turn his face to one side so he complied, curious. Yasuo felt the hand trail down his jaw to his neck and it stayed here, just a warm presence.

Above him, the man hummed, as if deep in thoughts : « Your ability to heal is very impressive. The mark I gave you already faded away. » His voice had a disappointed hint.

« Oh, I didn't know you left one. That's hot. » Yasuo admitted. The idea of a claim marked in flesh made him shiver.

« Not anymore. I don't understand, if your body repairs itself without any visible proof of it, why do you still have so many scars ? » as he talked, Yi traced the thin scar on the latter's nose.

« Mmh I'm not really sure, I didn't pay it much attention. But I guess the scars come from before errrr…. the turning. »

A thick silence fell upon the garden. Yasuo had averted his gaze when the topic was brought up but the sudden pause from Yi made him look up. What he found in the emerald gaze was a tint of sadness and Yasuo knew he caused it. Or was it compassion ?

« You still don't want to talk about it ? » Yi sounded like he already knew the answer, resigned. « I wish you would tell me what burdens you, tell me what happened. Why do you have to endure this alone ? I just want to help. » The words were raw, direct from Yi's heart.

All this said in one go, it left Yasuo taken aback by such distress in kindness. But the fear was still here, never leaving him, a constant presence in the back of his mind. And it hurted. So much. To be reminded of his actions. To think about Yone.

« Breathe. I understand. It's just… I can't bear to see you hurt. » there was a try at comfort in his tone but it stayed really worried by nature.

Yasuo didn't realize he held his breath till the latter ordered him to let it go. Air came back and for a time he just focused on evening his breath, as Yi soothed him through it with gentle touches.

« No. Not yet. I can't- »

« Not now. When you're ready. Just allow me to help you. »

« One day, yes. » the tremor of the voice showed Yasuo's vulnerability in this moment.

In this rush of emotion, Yi bent to kiss him. The angle was awkward, their positions difficult but the intention was there too. Yasuo made a small muffled noise in the kiss as he responded urgently. The craving never stopped but each drop he could take was divine. His own kind of drug. _High on love_. It chased away the previous sadness and replaced it by warmth coiling around his heart, like a small animal in its nest.

Yasuo felt like he found his place. A new home. Because he never felt so safe. Safe, away of any harm, inflicted to him or of his doing. Safe to love without fear.

Breathless, they parted but this gentle euphoria didn't leave. It stayed as they did in the garden, no words but small touches till Yasuo drifted off.

When bedtime came, there was no great difference with the rest of day : a lot of cuddles, always a kind of contact and so much little attentions given. But it was indeed the first night they shared in complete understanding of each others feelings. Of course, last night didn't count, Yasuo was out just before going to bed.

There wasn't much more, just a perpetual display of mutual love. Thinking of the past, when nothing was sure, not even their own feelings, there was already this special need for contact that could only happen at night. In the dark, everything was possible, as long as no one pointed it out.

Now everything was clear, every gesture was welcome and appreciated. Yasuo had no more reasons to worry about the other man wanting or not the hugs. No more shyness, they could spoon in the peace of the night.

Yasuo had Yi's back pressed to his chest, keeping him close. He left a kiss to the nape of his neck and Yi's answer was a soft sigh. Then he took one of Yasuo's hands off him to give it a peck, a return of affection. Yasuo's chuckle rumbled in his chest, to see himself so smitten by one of the more chaste display of love existing.

This time, Yi was the first asleep and it lulled the latter to do the same.

 _Maybe I should tell him._

The idea of letting down this burden never seemed so relieving.


	28. Chapter 28

When he woke up, it was to the sight of Yi pressed to his chest. At first, Yasuo was surprised to be the first awake, since he was the last asleep but after the rest he took all day, it was to be expected.

He liked that. To be awake before Yi. Because it left him some time to admire the man when he was at his most relaxed moment. This plan was changed though, since Yi was tightly hugging him, face hidden. But it didn't bother Yasuo. To feel his lover holding him in such manner was really endearing.

This closeness had a side effect. Yasuo noticed with great annoyance that he was getting hard. Or maybe he was already and felt just now the need seeping through his veins. In either case, he was fucked, trapped in the embrace with little chance to get out of it without waking Yi. _Why flee ? We're past this now. Maybe he could help once he wakes up ?_ This reflex to get out of the room each time it happened was quite old, before things were explained and love confessed. But even now, Yasuo was ashamed of himself and his poor control. Asking Yi to help him seemed truly embarrassing, despite being sure he would say yes. _So kind and helpful_.

 _I can't ask him_. Yasuo felt the craving getting stronger, relishing in the presence of the body pressed to his. _Gods, I'm sure he can feel it_. He needed friction but he refused, too afraid to wake him up. The worse was the memories of the day, what they did in the shower, all this came back to make him regret resisting.

Yasuo couldn't stand it any longer. _I'm sorry, Yi_. He made an attempt at getting out of the embrace, hoping that it wouldn't bother the other man. Slowly, very slowly, he put some distance, part of him unhappy to lose the contact.

No luck, Yi stirred a bit before waking up, trying to keep close the body he was snuggled to. There was a noise, close to a whimper but maybe more confused. Yi pulled the man back to him, with as much strenght he could find.

« Not yet please » followed by a yawn, voice with a rare low tone.

To Yasuo's chagrin, they were back to their previous cuddle. He fought back a little but it led nowhere, himself not wanting to leave. _Fuuuuuuuuck_. On their side, Yasuo was then pushed to lay on his back as the latter crawled on top of him.

There was a fleeting instant where neither moved, just looking at each other with opposite emotions. Distress was painted on Yasuo's face, a bit of shock too and the typical fluster due to arousal. Yi looked at him with sleepy eyes, the flame of affection lit as he woke up. Then he closed the distance between them, claiming Yasuo's mouth in a tender display. Nothing rushed, just the slow, almost hesitant brush of their tongues. It seemed to last forever and even more, Yasuo allowing himself to relax little by little under the solid warmth of the other man.

After taking their time in this ending morning, Yi parted to rise slightly, gazing at the man beneath him with such dreamy expression, lips glistening with saliva. Yasuo found it a pretty sight, even though his mind murmured ideas of this mouth on some other places. _I wish_. As he looked up, there was something new sparking in Yi's gaze. The latter tilted his head, shifting his position till he straddled Yasuo. Never the eye contact broke. Even when Yi rocked his hips back, definitely acknowledging the tent in Yasuo's pants.

« Ah- » a drawn out groan got out of him at the sudden pressure on his crotch. Yasuo clasped his hands on the man's waist, not sure if he wanted to encourage him to repeat that or if he wanted to refrain him.

A light shade of red came to Yi's cheek after this, giving out how turned on he was.

« You look like you could use some help. May I ? » his composure was only reflected in his voice.

Yasuo let out a relieved sigh : « Please. I need you. » To emphasize his words, he squeezed Yi's waist, communicating his desperation.

« Eager... » with a pleased tone. Immediately, Yi rolled his hips to coax a better reaction out of his lover. He repeated it several times, bringing the man to full hardness in no time. As he did so, he took also the occasion to take off his top clothing. Thrown in the room without consideration.

Wanting to reciprocate such attention, Yasuo rose to keep the latter in his arms. Then he brought a hand to Yi's chest, feeling it heaving at a long rhythm for now. Tentatively he rubbed a nipple, tugging with care to see what kind of noise he could earn from this. Under the touch, Yi panted softly but not more, while he rolled his hips at a tantalizing pace.

Surely he noticed Yasuo's deception : « Never been much sensitive here. Try somewhere else. » he took the latter's hand to his own neck and left it there as clue.

So Yasuo did as suggested, leaning to nuzzle the man's neck. He left a few open mouth kisses before licking his way to the jaw, a light shiver taking the frame on top of him. Through this teasing he endured and loved, Yasuo felt the latter's erection, trapped between their bodies. Nothing could turn him on faster than this. He slipped his hand in Yi's pants, a wet patch forming there. A gasp answered his ministrations.

« Yasuo, wait... » Yi was really starting to breath heavily, surely carried away by the lavishing.

The latter stopped in his tracks, blown pupils directed to the other man : « Too much ? »

Yi composed himself as much as he could before talking : « No, don't worry. Just, we're not going far if we continue like this. Let me take care of you. »

Though unsure about what the latter meant, Yasuo took his hands off him and waited. So Yi stood and went out of the room, leaving his lover alone for a short moment of confusion.

Back with the lube, Yi busied himself with taking off the other man's trousers. The latter released a sigh when his cock was freed, a bead of precum at the tip. Yasuo watched his lover do the same for his own clothing, with a lot of anticipation. Yi returned to his spot on top of the other man and pushed him to lay back on the bed.

« My turn. Just a bit of patience, please. » words spoken lowly. Yasuo wasn't sure about what would happen but he burned for it anyway.

This time, there was nothing left between them as Yi sat here. Yasuo relaxed under the solid weight, enchanted by the sight. He saw Yi lubing his left hand then _oh gods_. He watched the latter reach behind him with little left to imagination about the intention, so enticing he couldn't hold back a needy moan. Hands coming back to Yi's waist and hip, Yasuo could tell the exact instant when the latter at last pushed a slick digit inside. The blush creeping up the man's face was as much due to the stimulation than the starved gaze never leaving his body.

Yi prepared himself efficiently, not wasting any time, adding another finger. It felt so good, better than all these times alone. Beneath him, Yasuo tried to have him slow down, fearing for his well-being.

« Go slow. We're in no rush. » it wasn't entirely the truth, he was getting impatient too.

A loud noise got out of Yi when he took in three digits, the stretch making it more difficult to think straight. That was the last straw, Yasuo couldn't take more of this. To see his lover taking pleasure just before his eyes, with increased abandon to this shameful display.

« Yi…... » his tone was pleading now.

Lust filled eyes met his and never he thought such a vibrant craving could be showed. Dedicated to him. Yi whimpered when he took out his fingers, focusing instead on getting the latter ready.

Despite himself, Yasuo grasped tighter the latter's hips, as he felt his cock nudging Yi's entrance. Then he did it, taking him in very slowly. During it, Yi kept his hands for support on Yasuo's torso, as he sank down on his shaft. He stopped a few times to even his breathing, each time making the latter release a louder moan.

It was too much for Yasuo, trying his best not to buck into the velvet warmth welcoming him inch by inch. He saw Yi worrying his bottom lip, gaze staying intently on Yasuo during all this.

Then it was done, Yi took him fully. Breath coming short, he smiled to the man under him : « Sorry for the wait, I didn't know it would be so …. intense. ». Testing the waters, he rolled his hips, gasping when it brushed a spot in him.

Yasuo was a bit puzzled, trying to sort things out : « Wait, you've never done this before ? » The idea seemed incredibly unlikely and yet, it only made him harder.

The was a light laugh from above, quickly interrupted by another moan when Yasuo followed the pace : « What about it? No, I never had. Don't make a big deal of that and move ! »

The answer resonated in Yasuo's head, overwhelmed. It would be something to discuss later, now he had a need to take care of. At first a bit reserved, he quickly came to a pace sufficent for Yi. Each thrust slamming back in his lover was rewarded by a moan, more and more urgent. Yi tried to focus on the pace too but soon enough it was a lost cause. All he could manage was not to collapse on Yasuo, frame shook by the rocking.

« Yasuo… Feel so good… don't stop... » almost out of breath.

It sounded too good to be true and yet here was Yasuo, listening his lover lose himself as he pounded into him, end coming closer. There were tears in Yi's gaze, something so unfamiliar that it awoke a new urge in Yasuo, an ache.

« You too…. Sound so perfect, all these beautiful noises just for me… I love this, how you take me so deep, so well… I got you, sunshine, I got you... » he babbled.

Yasuo wanted to get the latter's off first, to see him cum just from his cock. Taking Yi's erection in hand, he gave quick strokes as precum made a mess of his hand.

« I'm … close... » he sobbed, body trying to keep up with the hard pace.

Till it was enough. Too much. Yi's climax shook him, a rush in his veins as he cried out his pleasure. Yasuo witnessed it from the start to the end, cherishing already the memory. The nice arch of his back, his expression surrending to bliss. Yi clenched down on Yasuo, bringing him even closer to orgasm but not enough. The latter stroked him through it, Yi's release painting his torso in white.

Yi would have fell forward but he still had a bit of strenght to keep himself upright. As his breath came back, he registered Yasuo's state, still very hard.

While the latter expected him to pull off, he stayed as they were and went back to rolling his hips. It was too much, at the edge of overstimulation and pain but Yi was determined to finish what he started. At first Yasuo tried to make him stop that, seeing the strain taken by the latter but couldn't since he was succeeding. Yi leaned down to kiss him just before he came, spilling his load inside him. It still gave Yi a strange flash of pleasure. When Yasuo was done, spent and breathless, Yi pulled off and lied to his side, peppering a few kisses where he could reach.

There was something really soft and tender in their next kiss, a need for touch after such intimate display. They felt dirty, a bit sore but relieved nonetheless.

« If morning always starts like this, I'll gladly become a morning person. »

Yi's laugh was muffled against Yasuo's neck.


	29. Chapter 29

They stayed like this for some time, basking in the lingering warmth. Yi was half lying on the other man, idly caressing whatever body part he could reach. In same laziness post-bliss, Yasuo had an arm snaking around Yi's waist to keep him close, as reflex.

It wasn't far ago but Yasuo enjoyed playing again in his head their intercourse. That was some good memories to fantasize later on. He blushed at some particular details. All the vocal reactions he pulled out of Yi, his expression full of pleasure, the desperation, the heat, everything. It was really something to be allowed to see him like this, surrending at last. _Ah_.

« Yi ? »

The called man lifted his gaze to meet Yasuo's, paying attention : « Yes ? »

« Hmm, I don't know how to ask this without being a creep. That was your first time… being fucked ? I think I remember you saying so. » he sounded awkward, knowing very well he never had his way with words.

« How rude. » Yi replied back with an outraged tone. « That's not some mere 'fucking' we did. I'd prefer to say that we made love. Or maybe that's not your opinion and I'm just a source of relief for you after all. » He didn't really thought the end of that sentence. He was pretty certain that Yasuo would never use him just for pleasure, his clear feelings showed the contrary.

« No no no wait that's not what I meant, I'm sorry. You're a lot more than some relief. » just a hint of panick.

« I know, don't worry. I apologize too, that wasn't really smart from me to say. » Yi was quick to solve what he caused as he rose a little to give a chaste kiss. He blamed himself a bit for Yasuo's short distress, for hurting him unintentionally.

« But let's go back to your question. Yes I lack experience on this topic. Till now, you're the only person I have shared with such private activities. Believe it or not but don't make fun of me, please. » Talking about this wasn't to Yi's liking, self-concious. « See, the village wasn't a place to meet new people. It's only once an adult that one could go to the other islands and hope to meet someone. In my case, the war happened before I could even try. And after it, I didn't want to abandon the village to desolation. »

The latter listened to him with increased sadness, feeling a bit ashamed for pointing this out. His gaze filled with sorrow met again Yi's, who tried his best to cheer him up : « But that's no longer important ! A few times ago, I had the chance to find myself the most perfect man in the world. He's so handsome and kind, a real cuddler. And so good in the sheets, all with passion and gentleness. I have never been so in love in my life. »

Yasuo saw that sparkling gaze never leaving him, feeling a deep red burning his face as the latter spoke. Words like honey, a smile so fond it could be heard in Yi's voice. The mood just went from grief to joyful embarrassment in a second. _I got it so bad_. This was one of the reasons Yasuo loved this man, from the bottom of his heart : how freely he spoke, direct, with no superficiality. He said what he thought and if the topic was their affection, his words could become as sweet as candy. Yasuo was smitten.

« I can't believe you managed once again to confess and make me want to cry. You adorable, terrible sunshine. » as he spoke Yasuo hid partially his face, a bit too flustered.

« I will continue till it get to your head. Oh wait, nevermind, I don't think I'll ever stop. » He sounded relieved to hear the latter back to his blushing self, though Yi sported a similar tint of red.

He took Yasuo's hands away to have access to his mouth, kissing him with fervor when he could. Another kiss in the multiples they already shared but this one was born from the happiness of acknowledging one more time their bond. It had a taste of safety.

They parted for breath but the feeling lingered.

Then Yasuo spoke up : « I'm glad and honoured to be your first. It was wonderful. And I'm not lying, this was fucking hot. »

As answer, Yi hugged him tight, with as much strenght he could without harming the latter, face burried in Yasuo's chest.

 _Damn, he's so cute_.

They spent the day in the house, since it started raining in the morning and it didn't stop. Yi was tempted to go outside meditate despite the bad weather but he was sure the other man would have followed him anyway. And he wasn't really fond of the idea of letting Yasuo endure the rain with him.

So there was no other choice than staying home. Enjoying the soothing atmosphere, Yi sat by the door of the terrace to sharpen his blade. The sight on the village was peaceful. Yasuo was again lying down not far of his beloved, his book next to him after he got tired of reading. The noises of rain mixed with the steel's melody relaxed Yasuo, dozing quietly.

A whisper in the house : « Love ? »

The latter rolled on his side to face Yi, slightly touched by the pet name.

Sure that he had Yasuo's attention, he asked : « Let's experiment. Can you come here ? »

This picked his curiosity so he rose and chuffled closer. Yasuo rested his chin on the latter's shoulder, a tiny habit he had, while he embraced him.

« Remember the time you healed my hand ? I think this has something to do with your saliva. Sorry, it sounds as strange as it is but will you let me test this ? »

« Erm okay. If that helps you. How do you plan to do it ? »

Yi was a little embarrassed as he remained silent. He brought his thumb to the edge of the blade, the way he did sometime to see if it was sharp enough. The cut was neat, thin, just a drop of blood trailing down.

The latter understood. _Ooooh okayyyy_. Yasuo took his hand, taking a second to register what he was going to do and to put aside the small urge awoken by the sight of blood. _Better make this right_. Without hesitation, he licked the wound before going back to it diligently. It was enough but Yasuo decided not to stop yet. Putting on an openly suggestive display, he gazed at Yi without shame. Lapping, sucking, it sounded as obscene as it looked and he felt how Yi's fingers twitched in his mouth.

Satisfied with the heated gaze he received, Yasuo pulled off : « Enough ? »


	30. Chapter 30

Yi was clearly unraptured, taking away his hand without breaking eye contact : « You didn't have to go that far. But I must say it was… entertaining. »

« Glad to provide~ » Yasuo purred, delighted by the turn taken.

One second. That was all it took for Yasuo to be yanked by the collar before a hungry mouth met his for a deep claim. His immediate reaction was to surrender, opening to that tongue eager to explore, to devour. _Mmmmmh hot_. Then Yasuo's back hit the floor, making him moan out loud without any chance to hold it back. Idly he registered the cool air brushing his chest, realizing that he was now stripped to the waist, Yi straddling him in a so familiar manner. _He likes to be on top, I see_. The latter's hands were on him, touching his chest, cupping urgently. Yasuo didn't complained, himself trying to reach for the man above him and undress him too. That little scene radiated steam and heat, with no misunderstanding of what they both wanted. _This gonna be filthy…_

Yet, there was a pause as Yi stopped temporarily his worship. Looking up, Yasuo found him gazing at him with such powerful lust not even concealed. It was really something to witness. _With such gaze, I would do anything for him_. Yi's attention seemed to change of target. He looked at his hand, the one Yasuo had thoroughly lavished in attentions, considering it. For the man beneath, it took a short time to understand what was so interesting.

« So ? It worked ? » Yasuo shivered a bit to hear his own voice so low, impacted by these last minutes.

As ripped out of his thoughts, Yi's eyes came back fast to Yasuo's : « Yes... » He held his hand so the other man could see the result. Where previously there was a cut, now there was nothing except a thin line, a scar that would disappear in no time.

This interested spark came back to lit Yi's face, the kind of serious but motivated face he had when he observed something new. It was endearing to see, from Yasuo point of view.

« This is really amazing. Your body can keep itself healthy but also heal another person if wanted. Truly impressive. » said with a rare kind of wonder. « Tell me, do you use this when you take someone's blood ? To seal the bite ? »

The latter stayed silent, looking for a proper answer : « I never thought about that. Usually, there is no need because they die afterward. »

« Oh. Of course. » Yi sounded surprise. It was logical, after all. Though before he had retreated his hands to focus on the conversation, he went back to carressing shyly.

Yasuo carried on his thoughts out loud : « You know, this ability to heal isn't so great, in my opinion. Yes, it helps a lot. But I think it's just a way for the curse to keep me alive. To prevent me from killing myself . »

Above him, Yi froze. And Yasuo felt it, how his whole frame tensed, the hands happily wandering stopped. The worse in this reaction was the shocked stare, emotions not even repressed as he seemed to deduce something from Yasuo's words.

 _I shouldn't have said that_.

After a long silence while neither dared to speak up, eyes locked, Yi asked with a hint of fear in his voice : « Did you try ? »

He let out the breath he was holding, not expecting such tension all of sudden. Then he spoke : « Yes ». Because that was all he could say right now. Yasuo felt the hands on him clutching a bit, a light tremor. He needed to make things clear : « Please… don't stare at me like that. Yes I tried. Once. It was not long after I got turned, when I was at my lowest. » Words didn't stop, as he tried his best to reassure, to wipe away that sadness on Yi's face.

Yasuo managed a smile : « No need to worry for me anymore, it last just a short time. I remembered my oath and went back to fulfil my mission. I will not die, I promise. »

« For now you're bound by honor. But what then, when you'll have found the culprit ? » his voice was blank, quiet, resolutely letting nothing pass. Yi had recovered a little his composure but was still far from his usual peaceful self.

Yasuo felt something building up, the tension was still around them : « I don't know yet. » He averted his gaze.

Then it snapped. « You know what I hear ? You're telling me that once your mission done, you will be free to kill yourself because nothing would keep you from it. Am I wrong ? » Anger seeped in his tone, raw emotion getting a bit louder, out of control. Yi closed the distance to look at him dead in the eye, cupping his face a bit harshly to make Yasuo look up. « Tell me I'm wrong. Please. »

The hand on his jaw shook. Yasuo also shivered under the gaze at first filled with frustration but it turned into hurt little by little. « With so much blood on my hands, death was always something I craved. » There was no reason to lie, not now, not to him.

A sob answered him. _No. Please no_. Indeed there was tears in Yi's eyes, threatening to fall.

« How can you say that without problem ? How…. ? » his voice too showed the break down, the pain. « Please don't ever…. I can't even imagine to lose you…. » Yi was too close to let go, to spill his fears, his worry, this feeling to be powerless.

So he cried, at the center of Yasuo's attention. It broke the latter's heart. To see his love hurting to this point, caring for him so dearly. These two emeralds – what Yasuo always thought of his eyes – had a new shine , making it look even more like jewels but sadly Yi's gaze would only look like this when overwhelmed. For Yasuo, it wasn't worth to see, if it meant that the other man was reduced to such state. _Or maybe tears of joy, one day_.

The words resonnated in his mind. It wasn't the first time Yi told him so, that he was welcome, wanted, needed. But as each time it touched deep.

Yasuo reached for the latter's face, to brush away the tears rolling down his cheek. It felt wrong to see Yi like this. He should never be sad. Himself had a bit too much of pent-up emotions. Maybe he would weep too. Yasuo embraced Yi, taking him down to lie over him. The latter burried his face in the crook of his neck, still shaken by waves as he held tightly the man beneath. The vulnerability of it had Yasuo try to suppress a similar sob but he failed and allowed himself to weep, after the rush of sadness and empathy. In this position, Yi wouldn't be able to see him do so.

From here they didn't move, taking back their breath and semblance of control over themselves. Yi remained exactly where he was, shame catching up with him. If he just tried to lift his head, he would immediately face Yasuo and that wasn't yet possible.

The latter understood that, the way Yi clung to him even though both were over the crying. Yasuo craddled his head, hand burried in brown locks, soothing.

« Thank you. For everything. »


	31. Chapter 31

_Time to move_

Now that peace was back, Yi decided to get out of the embrace. He wanted to do it fast enough so the other man couldn't face him. _Not yet_. So he did so, rising a bit then returning to the terrace to sit, gaze averted and head resolutely lowered. Left behind confused, still sprawled on the floor after such rollercoaster of emotion, Yasuo watched him put some distance between them.

The tenderness lingered, same as the warmth of another body pressed to his just a minute ago. Though it didn't lessen the pain, not as strong and merciless as when those words teared his heart but still present. Just painful enough to remind him. That his lover almost gave up once. That for that mission, Yasuo was still alive. But the worse : that he could try again.

Till then, Yi had never considered or even imagined losing the other man. One that he would call his other half if he agreed. But now, the possibility was here, ingrained. Himself didn't give much worth to his own life, at a specific exception maybe but to be reminded that way of mortality, it was cruel.

During the latter's hunts, Yi feared for him, for his life but there was a difference. At these times he trusted Yasuo to come back safely. But now, he knew that the demon greatest enemy was himself. _No one would ever achieve to defeat him. But he could do it on his own_.

That was a new weight on Yi's soul. If he happened to fail Yasuo, couldn't give him the comfort and support he needed then no wonder what the latter would do. _I can't let him down_. He wanted to keep him alive and more important, to see him happy. Luckily the two coincided. Yi was motivated to do his best to help him.

So there came back the burn of shame. Because of his outburst right under Yasuo's eyes. _I'm supposed to help, not to throw my feelings here_. It wasn't the fact of crying in front of him that bothered Yi – maybe a little though – but that he let himself be overwhelmed so easily. He shouldn't be the one needing reassurance at this moment.

It did help Yi slightly to let go his worries for a moment but now the was the backlash of such vulnerability. And at the middle of this mutual break down, Yasuo managed to convey his love once more. It was so sweet even in such sad mood.

A hand on his shoulder took Yi out of his inner turmoil. He registered that without thinking he had brought his knees to his chest, hugging himself in a small semblance of peace. But now Yasuo was here, just behind. He could have made another gesture, directly embracing him as their boundaries allowed but in this instant he didn't. Just a shy graps on his shoulder to get his attention, like a scolded child would do.

« Yi ? » soft tone, with a hint of worry.

It convinced Yi to speak up : « I apologize. » Already his voice came back to its usual calm.

« For what ? » this time Yasuo sounded just puzzled. « I don't understand. »

« I shouldn't have spoken as I did, emotions got the better of me. I'm sorry for that. »

« Please don't say that. No one should apologize for saying what they think. I know it wasn't a good topic to bring up, the fault is mine here. »

Yasuo went closer to cuddle with his lover, sitting behind him so Yi's back leaned against his chest. The latter didn't protest nor moved, body relaxing in the hug but still avoiding eye contact. At least in this position he wasn't forced to face Yasuo and they still could remain close.

« That's not the matter. I'm the one supposed to help you venting, not the contrary. »

« Who decided that ? I think it's really unfair for you. That's why you don't talk much about what happened here ? »

 _He noticed ?_

« It doesn't matter. Helping you is all I ask. You deserve happiness. »

Yi felt the arms tightening around his waist and chest, not letting go.

« And you don't ? Bullshit. If it 'doesn't matter' then why do you still have nightmares about that ? »

 _Not that, please._

« That's none of your business. » growing tired of this, his voice took a defensive turn.

« You can be stubborn too, damnit. » It made Yasuo sigh deeply, resting his head forward, against Yi's. « Come one, I just want to help you the same way you do. »

« I appreciate the thought but till then I managed very well so I don't see why you need to know. »

« How ? You gave me a lot already, took me in, offered me a roof and yet you refuse to let me return the help ? That doesn't make sense. »

« Don't ask once more. »

Yasuo shut his mouth, frustrated. But again he couldn't keep quiet when it didn't feel right : « I just want to bring you the same relief and love you gave me. »

« It's not even nearly as important and serious as what happened to you. Truly, there is nothing to say. »

His heart bled a little more.

« I don't care, one day you will tell me. When you'll be ready. »

There wasn't much possibility for a deep kiss so Yasuo opted for something else, nuzzling the nape of the latter's neck. Yi's shiver was strong enough to be felt against his lips as he left a peck there.

« If I told you my story, the turning and all that crap, would you tell me yours ? »

Yi's breath was caught. _A good point_. Something he wanted to know for a long time.

« I- I don't know. You're not playing nice with this deal. » he muttered, a bit sulking because of the unfair offer – for him. « I'm sorry… I can't. »

« Shit, I'm sorry too. Shouldn't have put it that way. » Yasuo rocked both of them gently, soothingly, trying to calm down what he suggested. « But I think I'll tell you anyway. As much as I fear what you may say of my actions, I need to… to talk. Also, you already know a good part of it, the worst. »

Since Yi kept his silence, the latter continued : « I will not ask you for your past. But please, be merciful when you will judge what I did. I cannot lose you too. »

« You will never find judgment in this house. You will just find another killer's compassion. »


	32. Chapter 32

_Equal in crimes_.

It hit Yasuo hard each time he was reminded that the other man wasn't so innocent. Not in a wicked way but in the amount of blood staining his hands. Well, in Ionia, after the end of the war, there wasn't a lot of people still pure and naive. On the contrary, violence became a new way in this peaceful region. These lands got a taste and craved more.

It was common thing to consider from the start that any teen or adult met had already seen too much. No need to clarify what or how or when. No one was clean. Even with that in mind, it was striking to learn that Yi killed, knowing his peaceful nature. _War can make someone do many things for their country_. But Yasuo also knew that the man was skilled, a lot more than the majority of ionian warriors.

 _Another killer_.

It wasn't true, at least in Yasuo's mind. Their sins were different. Yi's were seen as legal since he fought for Ionia. But Yasuo had slain his peers, his own brother. _Not the same kind of killer_.

« I'm not trying to start an argument or anything but I must correct you. Our crimes are nothing alike. I'm not saying you did nothing but you can't compare yourself to me. You're still a good person. »

« OK, I hope you understand how strongly I disagree with you but I know trying to talk you off this idea will be useless. Anyway, we both killed at least once, for some it's enough to be damned after death. Whatever comes next, we will be in together. »

« How can you still find a positive point in this shit ? On this, I agree. But wait for me to tell what happened before stating that there is still good in me. »

« There is still good in you. » he sounded blunt, like it was something he had been repeating for a while. In this case, it was indeed.

A tired noise made its way out of Yasuo : « That's exactly what I was saying. Just let me explain. You wanted to hear my story, no ? »

Yi remained silent, leaving the latter time to speak. For this, Yasuo was thankful. After their previous talk, their embrace finished very tight so he loosened it a bit.

There was a pause while he thought about what part mention or not, what was relevant or not, where to start. In his arms, Yi shifted slightly sometime, waiting for him patiently.

 _He's willing to wait_.

« Whan we met, during the war, I wasn't yet into troubles. » _Wow, good start_. Yasuo felt dumb, story telling wasn't what he did best. He sighed. « No, a bit sooner. Mmmh… in my town, there was a sword school, quite famous. That's where I learned everything I know now. My master was the Elder Souma, he taught me the wind technique. »

« The samurai mentioned him. I remember. He said you were the one who killed him. »

A hint of anger came up but Yasuo put it aside : « Yes. I was also Elder Souma's bodyguard, at the time of the invasion. Most of the people able to fight had left the town to defend Ionia so I was ordered to stay and protect the elders. But I was also young and very very hot-headed, longing to go to join the fights. I craved recognition, something that was denied to me. »

« Why ? »

« It's linked to my childhood, not very important for now. » _It hurts_.

« I want to know, please. »

« Okay. But not today. »

« Another time, then. »

Yasuo felt one of his hands taken, entwined with Yi's. It made things easier.

« I think you can guess what I did next. One day, there was rumor of a battle not really far so I left to bring my help. When I made it to the place, it was already over, just a valley swamped with blood, corpses from either sides. No survivors, a carnage. And the place reeked, I still don't know what it was but it felt like something awful happened. No need to say it calmed down my zeal. So I continued on my way, since I already kinda deserted my duty. There was still need for another blade in the war. Then I found you. »

« It didn't calm you down at all. When we met, you were really arrogant and impetious. Honestly, you sounded and carried yourself like a brat. »

This earned Yi a hearty laugh from the latter : « Oh I know. Never doubted it. A good thing I ran into you or my sorry ass would be dead somewhere in the battlefield. »

« I must admit, you were already of good nature, under that pride. I still remember that particular blush you had just before you left again, really cute. »

« Not my fault, from the start you just gave me more reason to have a crush. You're too kind with everyone. »

« With kindness we can do so much. See ? I saved my future lover from bleeding out to death. »

He knew they were just being lovey dovey but that didn't stop the red on his cheek. « Well, you saved me in more than one way. »

Here they reached the point where staying still was impossible, after such sweet words. Just when Yasuo broke the embrace to move and dive for a kiss, the latter turned to face him. They ended up against the wall nearby, in a deep kiss. Nothing too heated, just an urgent need for contact. Yasuo's back to the wall, he held his lover close. Satisfaction washed over them both, basking in each other's presence. The kiss ended and Yi put himself at ease, half lying in Yasuo's lap. Head resting against his shoulder, that little scene radiated domesticity.

« Sorry, I stopped you. Continue, please. »

« Errrr where were we ? Ah yes. So I went back to the fights, and didn't die. Thanks to you. I returned to the school only once the war was over. As I did, I feared the punishment that would come too, since I left instead of protecting the elders. Indeed, when I arrived, I was quickly circled by the other swordmen and led to face judgment. But then I learned that Elder Souma was dead and they accused me of the murder. I refused to surrend. Yes, I was ready to face death for desertion, it was deserved but not this. So I fled. Somewhere out there, the real killer was running, hidding after his crime. My duty was to find them and dispense justice. »

Yasuo was quite impressed how easily words came. A new sort of freedom. But he braced himself for what was coming next. He slid an arm around Yi, looking for reassurance. The latter responded to the touch by coming closer, snuggled up to Yasuo.

« For a time, it was just that. I wandered in Ionia, searching the culprit. At the same time, warriors from the town pursued me to deliver what they tought to be justice. It was kill or be killed so I did what I must. Till one day Yone showed up. »

« Your brother, isn't it ? » Yi felt the hesitation of the other man.

« Half-brother, to be correct. Same mother, we grew up together. At the sole difference that I was a bastard. Anyway we were… very close. This is a story for later. »

His heart ached at the memories.

« We both had our reasons, our honor at stake, family bond shouldn't interfere in that kind of matter. The duel took place. And I killed him. » Yasuo took a deep breath to fight back the tears. « I ran to his side, asked, begged for forgiveness. All he could say in his last instants was that only I could be the killer, since Elder Souma was murdered with a wind technique. But that wasn't true. Yone died because of this accusation. I slew my own brother. »

Yi's arms were around him, a gentle cage to soothe the pain. In respect, he remained silent.

« That was when I got turned. I don't remember it very well, it was a real mess. A lot of pain, of blood, on my hands, on the grass, everywhere. It hurted so much, from the inside. Like I was dying. Never I had been so much in pain. Then I fell uncouncious. »

Today seemed to be the day to cry, as Yasuo's vision got blurred with tears. Too much, it broke free. In an instant, Yi was upright, holding tight the latter. He coaxed Yasuo to lean his head against his shoulder, to cry without shame, a bit of safety. Following his habit, Yi ran a hand on his back, carressing. That was all he could do till the latter had his load of emotion poured.

Yasuo wanted to hide each time he broke like this. It wasn't something he enjoyed, to embarrass the other man with his repressed feelings. But it did help to let go, to seek comfort from someone giving it so openly.

Then Yi spoke up : « So ? How does it feel to let down a burden ? It worked ? » voice quiet, a whisper.

On the end of the crying, he answered : « It….. Thank you. »

« You're welcome. I'm glad to help you. You have been through so much and you're still here to talk about it. Not everyone got this courage. You have done so well. »

The silence Yi met seemed to be not quite what he wanted. Yasuo realized it when the hand previously on his back was now on his side. Then the latter began to tickle him in earnest. Yasuo burst into laughter, squirming away of the damned touch. It was easy, Yi didn't make an effort to keep going. Instead, he rolled both of them till Yasuo was on all fours, just above Yi. He adressed to the man beneath him a gaze still red of tears but filled with indignation and a softer side.

« You were still a bit gloomy so I decided to take action. Sorry. » Yi was grinning, enough to make Yasuo's heart melt.

« I love you. » he claimed that mouth eager to please, to soothe, to praise, just as a deep red shade colored Yi's face.

 _Perfect_


	33. Chapter 33

It was really sweet to feel Yi's late response to the kiss, like he was too busy registering the words. Then he answered fully, bringing Yasuo down with him to share everything, air, touch, affection. A kiss turned into several, each one more passionate. Till there was a hint of bite. A gasp came up, loud enough to make Yasuo part at once to see if there was a problem. There was a start of haze in Yi's eyes but not something to worry too much. What caught Yasuo's attention was that in their heated exchange he forgot himself a little, a split to Yi's lower lip as proof.

Something stirred within him.

Yi didn't care and renewed the kiss, moaning lowly in the other's mouth. Yasuo couldn't ignore the sharp taste of blood he found there, wanting to chase it till it disappeared.

Till he was sated. Yasuo recognised this feeling, a bit later than usual. _Ohoh bad_. The call. There it was, the thirst gone for a while but coming back with a vengeance.

This time, he pulled back completely, putting some distance between Yi and him. Mild shock painted the latter's face. Yasuo sat in his reach, heavy breath betraying his advanced state of desire, of starvation – whatever that was. Quickly Yi rose from where he was lying just before and gazed at the other man with worry.

It wasn't the first time he saw him like that. Yi already knew. The day Yasuo ran into the village unaware and almost attacked him. An entraced stare. The hunger was the same than everytime he got a little too long without blood. A hunt was necessary.

 _I hurt him_.

He couldn't deny that it felt good. _It's not supposed to_. He shouldn't let himself go like that, not with Yi. Fear took him when he looked at the man. But the latter didn't seem upset or distressed, he merely cradled Yasuo's face and maintained eye contact.

« You need to hunt, don't you ? No need to stare at me like that, you're still in control of yourself. Don't fret about it. »

« I hurt you. » _Please don't try to tell the contrary_.

« Yes it stung a bit. But look, it's already healing, thanks to you. » calm voice, to soothe the other.

« Still, I made you bleed. »

« It happens. Let's say it's payback for what happened at the pond. » he laughed softly.

Yasuo grumbled, short of arguments but at least his small panick was no more. Warm lips met his and he couldn't resist much longer, allowing himself to relax for a small moment. But he knew it wouldn't reduce the hunger.

« Sometime I come to think that I love your fangs more than you do. I know you prefer to be careful about that but trust me when I say it's not unwelcome. » he said after that, light tone.

« What am I supposed to understand there ? » _He can't mean that_.

To support his words, Yi went to the latter's neck, breath ghosting there. « I just think it's hot... » words said so close. Then he nibbled at tender skin, gently but sure to get Yasuo's attention.

« Please don't try to turn me on now. Not when I have to go out. It's unfair. » and yet there was a tremor in his voice after that.

« Maybe it will convince you to come back faster. But I understand, that's not very correct from me to do. » Yi left a peck there. « Sorry. »

« Feel free to do again but in more appropriate times. I mean, if you want. I'm not forcing you. Well… you know. Just not now. » he fumbled with his words, slightly flustered. _Why am I always so awkward, ahhhhhhhhh_.

« We shall wait the good moment. How do you feel ? » Yi sounded amused but then turned serious.

« Fine, for now. But I should hurry before it gets worse. I fear I cannot stay here any longer. »

« Then do what you must and get ready. »

Both stood up and went to the room.

Just the time to get his mask, blade and armor then it was more than time to leave.

« Looks like it will not stop raining anytime soon. » Yi thought out loud, sighing.

« I don't have much choice. If getting soaked up can prevent me from harming you, I'll take it without flinching. »

« Please, be careful out there. Come back to me safely. » as he joined Yasuo on the terrace.

« I will. And you, try to get some sleep. »

A hard kiss was shared, meant to leave a sweet memory till they could be reunited.

Then Yasuo left, running under the rain. Before disappearing from Yi's vision he turned one second and made a large gesture, waving goodbye.

It made love blossom profusely in Yi's heart at the sight.

The call was strong as he traveled down the mountain. Dark thoughts in his mind, noisier than before. Wanting. Craving. _Ugh_. Yasuo didn't appreciate this at all. It reminded him what that if not tended to, he could lose control. Without any chance to intervene before getting some fresh blood. So he had to hunt voluntarily or it would turn to a disaster. _Never again_.

A new victim. Someone alone, careless. The demon found his prey. Yasuo hated each second of it. Having to consider other human beings as food. His own source of life.

Quick and calculated. A deadly embrace then fangs piercing flesh. He muffled the scream with his hand, the best he could. Soon enough the person would have no strenght to cry or even fight back. Life can be so fragile, so frail. Broken as glass.

This was the worst thing to experience each time : tasting blood, drinking it so easily. The worst because it felt so good, when it shoudn't at all. _Monster_ , it whispered. _How can a normal person relish the essence of life itself ?_ _Creature..._

Amid this cheer corruption, Yasuo felt something else. Despite himself, it brought back the memories of the day, the taste of someone's else blood. Yi's blood. Not even in such amounts but still there. The idea remained. Still draining his victim, Yasuo moaned, too caught up to realize it.

Then it was enough. He let the body down, not too harshly by respect but also horror for this new crime. Yasuo wipped the remanant blood off his face as he ran away. The feeling following the feast never changed, a kind of fullness, soft bliss, warmth running in his veins. He never felt so alive.

Once his mind clearer, his thoughts went back to Yi. _What got into me ?_ Nothing made sense. He didn't know why he was so enthralled by the taste of Yi's blood. Part of him felt sick for wanting it. But it wasn't a need to feed of him. _Then what ?_ Maybe it was just an obsession.

There was indeed this craving but not to the point of killing. And there was also lust. Vicious snake coiling in his insides. _« I just think it's hot. ». No way_. So that was just him being horny ? Yasuo didn't like to admit something like this. But anyway it was too late, arousal making his return to the village a bit faster.

He indulged the fantasy, to see where this was going, to figure out what was wrong with him. His thoughts supplied new images : Yi under him, shoulders and face flushed red, kiss-abused lips opening to get some air. _Shit, I'm too much into it_. Yasuo wanted so badly to relieve himself but stopping in the middle of nowhere was a bad idea.

Then the dark nature provided a new suggestion : sinking his fangs in Yi's neck, feeling him writhe beneath him. Not even taking his blood, maybe just enough to have a taste. _Kinky. I'm so screwed._

Yasuo didn't dare to go further in this train of thoughts, sure that he would finish without a single touch.

 _Mother would be so ashamed of me_.

When at last he made it to the village, he was out of breath but for several reasons. Arriving at the house, Yasuo was glad to see that the latter didn't made an attempt at waiting him at the terrace. _Good. Maybe he got some sleep this time_.

He went in. Yasuo undressed in the living room to avoid useless noises and put his damp clothing to dry. During all this he was so mad against himself and his libido for not being very cooperative. About to enter their room, he stopped to think if it was a good idea. Still very aroused, he hoped it would go away. The urge to find his love was too strong.

Quietly he went to the bed, gazing at Yi, asleep. The latter seemed so peaceful. But the second after, there was a chuffling noise and Yi was looking back at him. Even in the dark he could see the tiredness, mixed with affection.

« Welcome back. » voice so small, sleepy.

Yasuo didn't answer and joined him in bed, heart leaping with joy. He expected Yi to go back to sleep right away but no. Instead, the latter crawled a little on him, enough to kiss him soft and slow. He would be lying if that didn't touch him in the slightest. At last together.

In the end, Yasuo was doing most of the work in this kiss, though it wasn't a real bother. The latter came closer to cuddle, legs tangled with his. Each possible contact was appreciated and needed to get some proper rest. But then Yasuo stiffened when Yi unitentionally brushed his erection. _Nope_.

For a short time, there was no reaction from the latter. Innerly, Yasuo hoped that Yi was too tired to even notice and nothing would happen. He was wrong. The kiss was broken as Yi gazed at him, curious. At that distance he could see how Yasuo averted his gaze. Again Yi moved to go on his side instead, still keeping him close enough to share the same air. The lesser contact made the latter whimper but he repressed it. Then a hand cupped the obvious bulge. Yasuo worried his lower lip, trying not to let escape any sound. _Fuck_. Part of him wondered why not surrender, since it was clear the other man was in the mood for this. A new wave of arousal washed over him, all the frustration accumulated on his way back home.

He gave up keeping silent when Yi's hand slipped in his pants to stroke his hard on. Right then he cried out, louder than he could have imagined. Pecks against his cheek, jaw and throat, a bit sloppy but the intention was there.

« Yiiiiiiii…. » a depraved whimper in the quiet room. Yasuo pawed at the other man to bring him closer.

« My apologies, I fear I'm not in the right state to satisfy you tonight. But at least let me give you this. » Yi murmured in his space, sleepiness making his voice lower, huskier.

All that could get Yasuo more needy. He yanked down his pants, cock springing free, a bead of precum at the tip threatening to trail down. Yi took him in hand again, resuming the pace set. Smearing the fluid to ease the friction, twisting his grasp, making him buck into it urgently. Between two hissed breaths, Yasuo swore, eyes kept closed from the intensity. Then Yi came back to kissing him, swallowing his pleas and groans. The latter's answer had nothing sophisticated, a mess of tongue quite clumsy. Yasuo was far more busy clutching at the sheets with one hand while the other urged his lover to continue. _Disgustingly good_. He was losing himself under Yi's touch, damp with sweat.

« Are you close ? » the latter asked, his soft voice a stark contrast with the debauched sounds let out next to him.

« Yes ! » Yasuo thought he would break.

The grasp on his cock tightened a bit, bringing him closer to climax. As he increased the pace, Yi kept also his small lavishing. It felt like playing an instrument, each precise touch to get the most beautiful sound. He gazed again at Yasuo, relishing the sight and hovered near.

« Come for me. Now. »

A few thrusts and Yasuo let got, going tense as orgasm rippled through him. Mouth free, glistening with saliva, he screamed. Yi watched him do, helping as he stroked him slowly. His release fell in white stripes over his abdomen and torso.

Once the tension went down, there was a whisper to his ear : « You did good. Am sorry but I feel too exhausted. » A peck to the corner of his mouth then silence.

Yasuo relaxed in the after-glow. When he turned slighlty to look at Yi he indeed noticed that he fell asleep, not even a minute after this heated exchange. _Well, not surprising at all. I guess he didn't find rest before I arrived_. But he had another matter to deal with. Grunting, he took off his pants to wipe his semence with and then left it in the room. This would be a matter for tomorrow.

He pressed Yi closer to him so they were skin to skin again and pulled the blanket to cover them both.

 _Thank you, my love_

He fell asleep cuddling Yi, in their small bubble of safety.


	34. Chapter 34

When came morning, Yasuo wasn't surprised to see the other still deep asleep. _He will not wake up soon_. This time he was also confused to find Yi on his other side, like they swapped in the night. _I don't even remember that_. What he remembered instead was the pleasant turn taken. Such good surprise. It seemed that each time they lay together it went even better.

Judging by the light coming through the window, it was already the end of morning. Yasuo relaxed back on the mattress, happy to have some good rest. Then he realized he was naked. This was a detail from the night he forgot. He looked around the room and indeed found his stained clothing thrown not far. _Will have to take care of that_. He sighed. Yi stirred slowly in his sleep, moving closer to that warm body till they were hugging. _He's so cute_. Once the latter was settled, face burried in Yasuo's chest, silence came back. He carressed Yi's back, tracing his spine, drawing patterns, anything that wouldn't wake him.

It took Yasuo some time to register that the other man was stripped to the waist, his usual night clothing gone. _Ohhhh_. Maybe that was for the better, that way they didn't get cold.

Also, he was stuck here. Yi was asleep and getting out of the embrace would maybe change that. Plus, memories came back from that time he had a nasty nightmare. Yasuo prefered to stay there and eventually doze, keeping close his man.

For a moment he listened to the birds chirping outside, distracted. From time to time Yi made a noise so he payed attention if he was having troubles in his sleep. Nothing of that sort. But Yasuo did fall in a light slumber, lulled by the quiet breathing near.

The second time he woke up, Yi was pressed to his side. But something caught his attention. For an instant Yasuo thought the latter was awake too, because his breathing was coming shorter than supposed to. _Nightmare ?_ The other man was restless, frame trembling enough to be felt by Yasuo. He coaxed Yi closer, till they were chest to chest. Then reality hit him as suddenly as the Noxian Invasion, without warning. This wasn't some mere nightmare but another kind of dream, more heated to say the least. Yasuo had difficulties believing it but the clothed erection pressed to his own crotch was a good clue. _OK_. He heard something sounding suspiciously like his name, mumbled against skin. _Oh boy_. Yi was really aroused, surely the result of this night intercourse. It made Yasuo's blood boil, feeling a bit too turned on by this unconcious display. _He has no right to be this sexy_. Yi held him tight, clinging at his anchor like a starved man. There was a small grinding against him, something shy as the latter seeked friction. And this wasn't so fortunate, it had a great impact on Yasuo, getting hard in this feverish urge. Even in a wet dream his lover remained relatively quiet, though it was louder than what he would allow.

Just before his self-control would slip away, he decided to wake Yi up. Yasuo brought a hand to the latter's cheek, thumb carressing his skin, the stubble on his chin. It didn't get the result expected so he dived for a hungry kiss, hoping it would bring Yi back to him. A bit of struggling under his touch while the latter indeed woke up, parting suddenly to catch his breath. Yasuo didn't miss the already blown wide pupils, looking dead at him with increasing confusion and lust.

« So, having fun without me ? » he purred, really pleased with where this would lead them.

« What did you- Ah ! » cut off by his own moan.

He completely froze in Yasuo's arms, registering the many things happening at once. When he caught up, confusion was replaced by shame, Yi's ears burning red. A matching blush graced his face, and Yasuo could see this happen in real time. Then the latter tried to get out the embrace forcefully. He succeeded then rolled on his other side, back turned to Yasuo as he curled up in a naive manner to hide.

Yasuo watched him do with sligh amusement but also a lot of fondness. _We all go through this sometime_. He was sure that Yi was too aroused by now but he would have no trouble denying himself. So he moved to his side to push Yi back to the mattress, pinning his hands too.

« Hey it's okay ! Happens to the best of us. » he said, towering the other man.

Even now, Yi refused to meet his insistent gaze, head turned resolutely to one side. Yasuo saw the flush spread to his neck and his shoulders, a lovely hue on his pale skin. Since his lover avoided his gaze, he would have to use another way to get his attention. Straddling Yi, he rocked down on his bulge, hard enough to make the latter buck under him against his will. Then Yasuo leaned closer and gave a long lick up his throat. He felt the shiver under his touch, encouraging him to do more. As long as Yi would keep his face turned, it left plenty of space for Yasuo to worship.

« Yi… No need to feel so embarrassed. I just want to repay you for this night. » murmured next to his ear. Then he went back to Yi's bare neck, giving a shallow bite here. Nothing serious, just so the latter could feel his fangs against skin.

« You're not the one that just woke up like this... » he sounded already a bit far, struggling to keep down his urges.

« Already done. » Yasuo laughed lowly. _And what a mess it was_.

« I know. I remember that time. » his voice was less reserved, more toughtful.

 _Really ?_

This was new, making Yasuo choke : « Wha- How ? You were awake ? » He rose enough to look at Yi. This time the latter met his gaze, revealing a spark of eagerness amidst the shame.

« I was. During most of it I must confess. You were really into it, to say the least. »

 _Oh gods he knew. He was awake when I… Fuck_.

« Why didn't you say anything ? »

« To tell you what ? That actually I was awake ? That all I wanted in this moment was to strip down and let you take me ? At that time I would never have imagined my feelings to be mutual. »

 _We're both two clueless idiots._

« You're killing me…. » Yasuo grabbed him by the neck to give him a deep kiss, all in hunger and need. To shut that mouth that would never stop praising him, give him more reasons to love back.

Since Yi's hands were now free, he laced his arms around his lover, to reduce even more the distance. The flames of desire wouldn't let him at peace. Fever running in his veins, the more basic instinct.

He pushed Yasuo to look straight at him, making sure he listened : « Yasuo. I need you to fuck me. Now. Make me forget my own name. » Yi's voice didn't falter. On the contrary, it had a such strong will, a true command. And Yasuo was glad to obey.

 _Ashamed of his own need but still able to dirty talk so easily. Unbelievable._

« I will but on my rules. » He wanted to sound sexy, low tone and all that. And it worked. Yi was smitten.

« I'm all yours. »


	35. Chapter 35

_And my heart belongs to you_.

Just mere words and yet it always touched Yasuo when his lover reminded him of their link. _I'm so lucky to have him_. Right then the double meaning of Yi's sentence made him both melt and burn of anticipation. Open to him like a gift. Yasuo already knew what he wanted to do. The idea itself made him shiver. _This gonna be memorable_.

A last kiss was offered to Yi before he moved back, still sitting on the other man. Yasuo felt on him the latter's gaze, watching any of his actions, patient but not for long. He removed the last obstacle between them, taking off Yi's pants. A breathy groan went from the latter when his cock met cool air, a small chock. For a short time Yasuo was enraptured, bringing a hand to stroke the hard member. The desire to have his mouth on Yi made itself known but he had other plans. _Maybe another time_. Pinned as he was, the latter's body acted on its own and bucked into the loose grasp, with little success.

Still, Yi refused to ask for more. It earned him Yasuo's respect, to see him surely conflicted between his advanced state of arousal and the trust in his lover. A thumb pressed to his slit and he whimpered, hands clutching the sheets. Yasuo wasn't cruel, to see his man flustered to this point was more than enough.

 _Let's carry on._

He looked for lube and grabbed it, not far of their bed. _The fun begins_. Yi watched him with glazed eyes while he coated his hand. Surely Yasuo's next move wasn't what he expected, given the widening gaze directed to him.

« My rules, I said. » said as seductively as he could.

Right before Yi's eyes, he reached behind to prepare himself, circling his hole. Being at the center of attention in such compromising position was new to him, exhilarating. Yasuo pushed the first finger in without much resistance, already plenty relaxed. A few thrusts in and out then a second one was added. This time, the stretch was good, pleasure going up his spine. A bit of searching then Yasuo brushed his sweet spot, stars in his vision for a few seconds. His moan was joined by a similar noise coming from Yi. Looking down, his erection was leaking, a lot more than when Yasuo was touching him.

« See something you like ? » voice breathy, impacted by the stimulation.

« Yes... » Yi sounded wrecked.

 _And we're just getting started._

« This will be even better when I'll take your cock. Promise. »

If that was possible, Yi looked even more disbelieving : « What ? Y-You want to be… on the receiving end ? » Said with this tone, it was like something impossible.

« Why do you think I'm preparing myself ? For the show ? Nah, I want to feel you inside. » Voicing it brought a staining red to his cheek. It really was something to say outloud their deep fantasy. Made it more real. And for now Yasuo was doing great to make it happen. « But we can do something else if you don't wanna. It's okay. » Careful, he prefered to let him an exit, just in case.

« No, keep going... » By now Yi was hidding part of his face under his arm. It didn't do much to the blush already present.

Yasuo sighed fondly at the sight. It was to be expected. He still had a task at hands, literally. Quick and sufficient, Yasuo finished to stretch himself. Then he went he poured more lube to slick Yi's shaft. Doing so, he was rewarded by a shaky moan, the kind of praise he liked.

He went forward, positionning himself.

« Yi. Look at me please. »

But still Yi refused to look at him. Yasuo understood that but his need urged him to act. Very soon. Or he would go mad without a doubt.

« I need you to look at me when I take you. Can you do that for me ? » his voice has a hint of plea.

His lover shook his head at the negative. So Yasuo took his hand and brought it to his own hip, gently. Yi let him do with little resistance.

Yasuo bent slightly : « Please. It's important for me. »

So Yi nodded shakily, letting out a held breath. His hands settled to Yasuo hips, resting there.

 _It's time_.

Unlike the other time when Yi took him with great care, Yasuo went down on his cock in one go, a smooth thrust, thinking himself ready to take it. It was immediate. A wave of tingling pleasure shaking his frame.

« Fuuuuuuuuuuuck…. »

At the same time Yi cried out, surprised by the sudden and wet warmth around him. He struggled to keep his instinct down, while Yasuo recovered of that first experience.

« Wow… that's deep... » he was already out of breath.

« Indeed… I couldn't have imagined… » hopefully Yi wasn't in a better state.

Yasuo started a pace, slow at first. It was already a lot, how Yi's cock rubbed him right in the good way. Even better than what he hoped for. Arms supporting himself on the latter's legs, Yasuo rolled his hips as he got used to the feeling of fullness. He noticed the latter gazing at him with barely concealed want. _Worth it_.

« Hey… feels good ? » as he asked, Yasuo clenched down on him, just to get a reaction.

Yi didn't disappoint, moaning wantonly as he clutched a little harder at the man above. It made Yasuo crave for more. He wanted to ruin his lover in the best way. So he changed of support, his hands going instead to Yi's chest. Yasuo increased the pace, pleasure running in his veins as this cock reached his specific spot. But he needed more. _Come on_.

So he grabbed Yi and rolled both of them over till his back met the mattress. The latter was taken off guard, a bit lost but all came back quick. Yasuo circled Yi's waist with his legs to bring him closer. Skin to skin, they could at last kiss. Yasuo went for it, claiming his mouth in a hot mess of tongue. The latter followed, chasing that liquid euphoria of an instant. Though Yi broke it when he slammed back into his lover, making him gasp.

This time the pace was up to Yi and he took the relay gladly. Anyway Yasuo didn't have much leverage now so he lay down and spread for his man. Each thrust rocked Yasuo to his core, embracing fully Yi and all he could give him. There was something in the latter's movement that betrayed his lack of experience, an urge quite strong. It was already a lot.

« Faster... » no time for shame.

« … You're tight... » even Yi's voice showed his struggle.

« Ha ! Maybe because I'm still a virgin at this… ? » so breathless but Yasuo felt happy in the other's arms.

« Don't say… things like this... » by now he was burrying his face in the crook of his lover's neck, muffling his pleasure.

« Oh… you just got harder... »

Instead of an answer, Yi bit down his neck, sucking to leave a mark that wouldn't last. Despite himself, the rhythm grew erratic as he neared the edge.

« Deeper ! »

Yasuo also was close, really close. This was so new, so fresh and yet so damn good. The slap of skin against skin. The point where they were joined. The intimacy. His whole body was shaken at each thrust. Maybe he drooled a little. Yasuo didn't care, all that mattered was the man giving it to him with such need. And Yi looked as disheveled as him, breaking a sweat.

Then his name was murmured next to his ear : « Please, I'm so close… Can I come inside ? »

Being asked such request, Yasuo's mind froze an instant. _Oh hell, how can he say that ?_

« Yes of course ! I'll take it ! »

But before that Yi took his lover's ignored cock to jerk him off quick. A choked moan made its way out of Yasuo. It was too much. The friction, the warmth, the unrelenting thrusts into him. Yasuo went rigid when climax shook him. He desperately clung to Yi during it, sobbing against his neck. Unconciously he left some red marks on the latter's back but for now they were too far gone.

Then Yasuo felt his lover's release, wet warmth spilling inside him and this got him weak. _Oh…._

They stayed locked in this embrace for some time, till their heart stopped going crazy. After that, Yi was the first to move, pulling out. Yasuo felt empty suddenly, a sort of loss but he prefered to cherish their contact. _It aches. Everywhere. But it's good_.

Yi flopped on his side. When they got to look at each other, his hand went to Yasuo's face, brushing off the tears he found there. _Ah, I cried_. With a bit of laziness, they made out, slow, nice and deep. That was all they needed for now.


	36. Chapter 36

_We did it_. For Yi it meant more than everything. Most of it because it was on Yasuo's request. _I can't believe it._

« How do you feel ? » as usual Yi made sure the other man wasn't hurt.

« Fine. Amazing even. I feel so sore but incredibly good. »

« I'm sorry, for not lasting longer. » there was a hint of shyness.

« So do I. Don't worry about that, you were perfect ! » so confident and satisfied.

So Yasuo urged him in another kiss, communicating his joy. _He doesn't seem to regret this_. He responded diligently, convinced by the latter. There was some simplicity in their touches now, sweet intimacy where the other was always welcome. _Trust_.

Right now, Yi felt dirty, surely needing to take a shower. As for Yasuo but in much smaller scale, there was a kind of weariness settling in his body. _No, we can't stay in bed all day_.

« Oh shit. »

Yi met his gaze, asking : « What's wrong ? »

His lover didn't answer yet. Instead, he shifted a little and led his hand behind himself. Yi understood where this was leading though he couldn't see it and the mere idea got him red in the face. Concentrating, Yasuo pushed two fingers in his stretched hole then moaned softly. But he didn't go further, still a bit sensitive.

« It was starting to drip so…. Fuck, just the memory of you inside, it would get me ready for another round. »

 _Shameful. I hope he will never stop talking_.

« Too soon. We've got to clean this up. And change the sheets. » Yi sighed, still slightly flustered by the latter behaviour.

Yasuo whined at that, embracing him, head pressed to the other man's chest. Just like a sulking brat. « Not yet….. » Anyway, Yi surrended to this comfortable hug, limbs tangled as the latter did his best to leep him in bed.

« Sometime discipline in life is required. » he said, well aware that Yasuo wouldn't meet his disapproving glance. The latter was too busy acting childishly, clinging to Yi without any chance to get away.

« And sometime it's good to relax and let go. We're adults ! We do what we want. »

« That's very mature, coming from the man keeping me captive in my own bed. » Yi tried to sound annoyed but really couldn't. The situation was so funny and endearing.

« How rude. I am an example of maturity. » threatrical sigh then Yasuo continued : « But you're indeed my hostage ! Beg for mercy or I will kiss your breath away. »

To look more intimidating, Yasuo moved from the embrace and pushed the other man's side till he was lying on his back. Then he pinned one of Yi's hands, not far of his head. S _omeone likes to dominate, I see_. When Yasuo leaned closer, Yi felt that tension. Not a bad one. More sexual, surely. _Two can play this game_.

« Oh~ Does it mean usually you're holding back ? If that's your idea of torture, I would take it gladly. » as he spoke, Yi relaxed further on the mattress. To put himself in such display wasn't his strong suit but he hoped Yasuo was enough biased to appreciate the sight. In any case, pink went to Yi's cheeks.

« Wait, you're not supposed to accept so fast ! Where did the man talking of discipline go ? » his tone couldn't hide the sudden need awaken when he looked under him. Mouth going dry, Yasuo let his gaze wander a bit on his lover's body. Nothing had changed since their first nights but each time Yi uncovered himself voluntarily, it made the latter fall in love once more.

It was entertaining to see Yasuo's stunned expression, like he saw a god. _There is nothing much special to see_. Beauty is in the eye of the observer but still it left Yi wondering what the latter saw in him. It also felt nice.

After a few seconds looking for what he was going to say, temporarily forgotten, Yasuo resumed : « But I would be a fool to refuse something so beautiful, given freely. »

« You're still a fool but for other reasons. Now, I recomend you to act on your words before I do it myself. » with a serious edge in his voice, so Yasuo wouldn't be sure if it was a joke or not.

« Bossy… I like that. »

Immediately he kissed Yi, deep and hard, before he could reply. The response came a tad later than expected but with equal passion. A heated exploration that left little to imagination about what would come next. This wasn't some sweet teen pecks. At some point Yasuo was satisfied by this exchange, purring innerly. He went to part but couldn't. Yi hooked an arm around his neck to keep Yasuo down. No escape possible. At first the latter found it amusing and returned to the kiss happily but after the need for air became stronger. Yi didn't budge, trapping the other man in this deep attention. _Don't start a fight you're not ready to lose, they say~_. He could feel Yasuo faintly shaking in the embrace. Till he couldn't hold longer. Yasuo pulled back with more strenght, oxygen was really a necessity now. The contact was broken.

For a solid moment both were trying to catch their breath, still in the same position, while they stared at each other. This extremely long kiss got both red in the face, a dark shade.

Then there was a light laugh from Yi : « I won. »

« That's not fair ! » it was only half-hearted, Yasuo was far more busy calming down.

« So this is how you planned to keep in bed forever ? I must admit I was expecting better. » Yi still played amused. In fact, he enjoyed very much this late morning.

« Oh but I have something else up my sleeve… Don't forget you're still my prisoner, love. »

Yi payed attention to each move to come, more than curious. Also, not knowing what Yasuo was up to made him shiver. _If he dares to tickle me again…_ He sighed of relief when the latter didn't seem to do that, nuzzling Yi's neck instead. _Ah…_.

At first Yasuo left a trail of pecks up his throat. Eventually, he licked that skin he knew to be more sensitive. Still, Yi thought it wasn't worth fussing. _That's not the boldest thing he did_. Then fangs against his neck made Yi reconsider his statement. It wasn't new, Yasuo already took advantage of that spot before. But since he swore to make Yi writhe under him, without a doubt he was going to try more. _Hell. If he keeps going..._

« Are you really doing that ? » despite himself, Yi sounded eager. And also unsure.

The tone made Yasuo pause an instant : « I can stop if you want. »

 _No_. Yi was still a little ashamed for being turned on by this, the mere idea of the demon's fangs through his skin.

« Don't ever stop. If you're want to bite me, do it. Don't be a coward. »


	37. Chapter 37

_Don't fuck up, don't fuck up, don't fuck up, don't fuck up-_

It was already something to hear Yi let him have his way. But to be allowed to do this specific thing Yasuo had been fantasizing, it was beyond reason. Not really out of the blue, there were some hints lately but still, it made his heartbeat increase greatly.

 _Geez, keep calm_.

His previous idea was just to tease Yi, see to which point he could get by grazing tender skin. Then the boundary was set further than what he would never hope.

A hand brushing his cheek brought him back to reality. Yasuo wasn't even aware that he zoned out for a short time. Under him, Yi remained silent but still gave him a look that could only be described impatient. And also this curious form of vulnerability, from revealing too much of one's desire.

No doubt he was certain Yasuo was going to do it. It wasn't some joke or a way to show off. He took that seriously. Himself wasn't very confident about it, risking Yi's life was the least thing he wanted. But he was already sated and fully in control of the hunger. _Nothing can go wrong. I hope_. The fear stayed. After all this was a consequence of the curse and was supposed to be used only with evil intention. Though it was said nowhere that it couldn't be turned into a more kinky use. _Never forget the purpose is bad_.

Surely worry showed in Yasuo's eyes, making the other man soften a bit at the sight : « It's going to be fine. If it hurts too much, we stop. And I can make you stop by force if needed. » Just to reassure him, a little push to keep going.

Yasuo nodded, taking a deep breath. Lips against Yi's neck, he forced himself to relax, a bit too shaken by anticipation. He felt the latter's arms snaking in his back as he held him close.

 _Fuck it_.

Fangs sank into flesh, skin presenting little resistance to such sharp weapon. The familiar instinct that always guided Yasuo to quench his thirst wasn't as strong, just a fleeting reminder not even trying to impose. It was for the better, really. The dark thoughts suddenly awaken still murmured the worst things to do but it seemed easier to ignore now that the demon was already sated. _An animal that hunts by hunger rather than cruelty. Would be hell if that was the last option_. Also, Yasuo did his best to fight the urge.

A gasp resonated. He felt it against his lips, the body tensing under him, just when a faint taste of blood graced his tongue. Afraid, Yasuo pulled off immediately to check on his lover.

At first, Yi didn't look in pain. It seemed that in the initial shock he brought one of his hands to his mouth, to muffle any sound following the gasp. Chest heaving quicker, panting softly. The red shade Yasuo always found pretty was back to the latter's face, for several reasons.

« Yi ? Are you okay ? » He was still unsure about all this. But if he trusted his deduction, the result was quite good.

« It hurt a lot but after it's not bad…. » There was something indescribable in his tone, a little detached, hazy. « Not bad at all... »

« Shit, I'm sorry. I should be more careful. » It came back to Yasuo's mind that he was able to do something about the pain. He came back to the small bite, tiny drops of blood pearling there. A large lick, wound clean and already it started to seal.

Under his touch, Yi relaxed from his previous tense state. There was even a gentle sigh, sounding a little too pleased for this situation. « Mmmmh better. See ? No need to worry, I trust you. »

Indeed Yasuo felt relieved. First because there wasn't any harm done and also because Yi himself was positive about the experiment. Among that came up a pang of arousal. Now it was clear that the latter appreciated that. Yasuo couldn't help but think of the short taste he got, enough to have him weak in the knee. _A really fine taste_. The flames, faded for a while, came back as fast and wild as his thoughts.

As emphasis to his words, Yi pulled his man lower to give a kiss. It took him slightly aback when Yasuo deepened it till there was only passion and raw lust. Visibly it ignited equal desire in the latter, responding in earnest.

When it was broken, instead of going for another kiss, Yi turned his face to bare his neck. An invitation to do more. It was enough to spur Yasuo into action. Making sure to aim to any other spot, he bit the pale skin.

Again there was a noise coming from Yi but it sounded suspiciously like a moan. Yasuo felt arousal build up within him, enjoying the reaction from the latter. He already knew where this would lead them, from the latest wandering thoughts of his hunt. This time, Yasuo allowed himself to savor the sweet taste. The danger was minimum, instinct kept low. _Everything is fine. He's fine. I'm fine._

Yasuo indulged himself with only one mouthful of blood and not more, as a precaution. He prefered not to be too reckless the first time. _I don't even know if there's gonna be another occasion. Maybe yes but to be asked_. It didn't stopped him from relishing the warm liquid, his ambrosia. Was it in his head or was it true, but it felt more rich and delectable than any other time he fed from his victims. Maybe because it was given with consent. _Who knows ?_ In either case, it made Yi's blood even more precious, a reason to avoid any possible harm. A wave of possessiveness took Yasuo, an urge to protect.

When he parted away, Yi was still clinging to him, a certainly more heated hint in his gaze. Yasuo made sure to close the second wound, at the same time collecting the last trace of blood left.

« Amazing. I love your taste. » he purred, satisfied and glad to see mirrored pleasure on his lover's face. « And by that I mean not only your blood. » Yasuo winked, hoping the latter would get the insinuation.

Then Yi hit him in the ribs, a knee jerk reaction to such vulgar innuendo. The blow itself wasn't really strong, not meant to wound but enough to take Yasuo by surprise. _AH_. Yi's next move was to get off under the latter, struggling till the man flopped on his side without much choice. Sitting on the bed, he gave a last tap to Yasuo's head.

« I can't believe you ruined the mood. Well done. » Yi sounded so done with that but at the same time he was flushed red. Yasuo's words always got him in the end. « As punishment, we stop here and go take a shower. Now. »

« But babe... » he was at loss, already regretting that last comment. _Nooooooooooooo…._

« Too late. Next time, think before talking. » His voice was very severe, enough to make Yasuo feel small. He couldn't tell if his lover was really upset or not so much.

« Please… We can't leave this…. » pleading tone.

« Shower then we change the linen. And meal too. Maybe then we will have some time left to have fun. » By the end of the sentence, Yi's tone was back to its usual calm. The smile he gave to Yasuo was a good clue. _Awww, he's not mad at me_.

For good measure, he pouted while Yi stood up then followed him to the bathroom.


	38. Chapter 38

Reaching the bathroom, Yasuo joined the other man, arms sliding around his waist. The movement was slow and silent, just to keep contact. He still looked like a kicked puppy as he gazed at Yi.

« I'm sorryyyy…. »

Both stepped in the shower and Yi had the water run a bit to get it warmer : « It's not so serious. In fact, I also needed a reason to stop this before it got too far. I enjoyed every second of it and without a doubt you would have carried on. But as I said, we can't stay in bed all day. » He gestured Yasuo to start cleaning himself.

So the latter did as asked, though still eyeing Yi up in this reduce distance. _Hot_. If his lover pointed out his blush, he would blame the temperature. Taking the soap, Yasuo used it as pretext to help the other man and touch him. Hands glided down smooth skin, stroking, carressing. There was no complain yet from Yi so he kept doing, feeling muscles relax under his palm.

There was a soft sigh then the latter spoke up : « Don't go further. Discipline, remember ? I promise, the wait will be worth it. » Yi was aware this was another occasion where things could slip.

Of course, Yasuo complied and got his hands off the other man. He was very tempted just to sulk once more but Yi leaned closer to leave a chaste peck to his lips. Enough to make his heart melt. _Ok, just need to be patient_. After all, Yasuo knew the latter was right. It would be childish to be mad at him for that.

Anyway he sighed with a small smile : « I understand but it's hard to stay still. Especially when in company of such a handsome man. Forgive me, the temptation is too strong. » Yasuo remembered that being crude wasn't always a good idea so playing more suave was a better way.

« You're one to talk ! Before you came here, my sexual life was doing very well but now I can't even imagine returning to that. You have ruined me in the most exquisite way. »

« Well, I am devastation incarnate. » Then he pulled Yi to him, till his own back met the tiles. A hungry kiss pressed to a mouth eager to respond. Both soaked under the shower, chest to chest till they surrended to the heat and parted.

When Yasuo opened his eyes, he found in the latter's gaze something ardent but also fond. « I get what you meant when you said it's hard. »

It took him a short time to understand. As close as they were, no doubt Yi could feel his arousal, normal reaction to their exchange. But then the latter pulled back, diminishing the contact. Yasuo had to bite back a whimper.

« So when you're the one making the naughty joke, it's alright ? How unfair. » he said as Yi was busy cleaning Yasuo's hair. So he went to do the same and grabbed the shampoo.

« No. You just had the worst timing ever. » he sounded so serious saying it. But in his moves there was only gentleness.

« Awwww don't be so mean... » Yasuo didn't think it, just playing a bit.

« Patience. You will have me later, however you want me. »

Soft words but still able to start a tempest in Yasuo's mind. _Oh dear gods, have mercy_. Without even needing much, his imagination ran to find a few things to do.

During this mess of fluster and heated ideas, Yi tilted his head as he looked at him, curious about this sudden silence. He understood when Yasuo decided to look at anything but him, with a seemingly distracted expression.

« Already planning your next move. » he chuckled lightly then continued : « But first we eat then make the bed. Only after that we will be free to do whatever you want. »

Yasuo kept this silence even after they were finished, hair rinsed and clean. Each one took a towel and dried the best they could. All this time he stayed close to Yi.

Then the latter guided Yasuo to the terrace, letting both of them enjoy the fresh air. Yi had him sit down and started brushing his hair. Long locks of a dark red. After a shower it had the same colour than dried blood, almost black. Yasuo was a bit restless, still quite hopeful about what would come next but this little session was soothing. Behind him, Yi was humming a small tune. The domesticity of this little scene was sweet, it felt like home. _Safe_.

« Yasuo ? I have a question quite personal for you. » he sounded a bit unsure.

« Yes ? »

There was a short pause, like the latter was looking for his words. « Was it your first time… lying down for someone else ? I mean, being on the receiving end. » Hesitation in his voice.

 _Oh that kind of personal question_.

« I thought I already stated so, my fault then. Yup, I've never been fucked before. »

A longer pause. « I'm sorry but if that's something you enjoy, why didn't you try before ? Since you already have far more experience than me, I guess you had several opportunities. »

« Huh ? »

« I don't understand why me. As you saw, I'm lacking. »

Since Yi wasn't finished brushing his hair, the latter couldn't move and look at him. « Yes, I already bedded several persons but it's not exactly what you think. In the town I lived most of my life, I had a pretty terrible reputation and my preference for men didn't help. » Yasuo stopped a bit : « There wasn't a lot of choice of partner so the occasion to try something else didn't come. »

« Oh, I see. I apologize. »

« What for ? It's allowed to be curious. Also, I'm very thankful for this first time. To do it with the man I love is the second most beautiful thing in the world. Just after you ! » Joy lit his voice, changing from the previous melancholia. Yasuo was certain his lover was blushing but no possibility to check that.

So for another long time, calm came back. This time, it's was Yasuo whistling a melody while they basked in the sunshine.

« Done ! » Yi's voice had a happy tone, admiring his work. Yasuo felt a hand through his hair, gentle. « Now, it's time to cook. Are you hungry ? »

« No, I already got my share that night. »

So Yi prepared his meal, the other man sticking around. At last, Yasuo hugged him from behind while the latter was cooking. Sometime he would leave a few kisses to the nape of his neck.

Then when Yi was eating, he stayed by his side, sitting at the table with a cup of tea. Yasuo spent most of the time chilling there, still waiting patiently. Then he jumped to his feet in one second.

« Oh wait ! I can make the bed while you're eating, it will save us some time ! »

Yi barely had the time to nod that already the latter was gone in the room. Such eagerness made him smile.

« Do you even know where to find the clean sheets ? »

« Yes, don't worry ! » quick answer from the room.

He finished his meal to the noise of rummaging in the room, sometime glancing in its direction. Yi wasn't worried at all, it just happened that the missing contact was unusual.

Yasuo came back gleeful once his task accomplished, embracing his man busy doing the dishes.

« The bed is ready ! »

« Well done ! But let me finish that. »

« Of course ! » Yasuo gave a good peck to his cheek then let him do quietly, though clinging at him during it.

« You look so excited, I'm starting to worry about what you will do to me. » Yi let out a good hearted laugh as he finished his task.

Yasuo took him by the wrist to their room with hurried footsteps. Once they made it, he was already pawing at Yi, grabbing whatever part of him he could reach. The hunger was awake.

« Before you get too involved, here is the rule : nothing in the bed. I intend to sleep in it tonight and there is no way we clean it again. »

The latter stopped his ministrations to assess the situation : « Oh ok then. But anywhere else ? » His voice had a low tone, sliping to arousal.

« I said however you want. Just do it. »


	39. Chapter 39

Calm on the outside, quite thrilled on the inside. Yi couldn't wait to see what the other man planned to do, once given permission. No real reason to worry, he was certain Yasuo would never go too far. To be at his mercy seemed so appealing right now.

Since he left the lead to Yasuo, he remained a bit passive at first, enjoying the contact. Both still standing, the latter shifted so he was behind Yi. Bodies pressed together, Yasuo's arms caging him, just a small bubble of warmth. _Sweet. Just for a moment though_. Yi appreciated the proximity even if this position made it difficult to repay the attention given. Deft hands opened his clothing, slipping off his sleeves then coming back to grab his chest. At the same time, Yasuo let his mouth wander, peppering kisses to the other man's neck, nape, shoulders. Yi sighed deeply, a beginning of arousal creeping up. _He takes his time_. Then the sweetness took a hotter turn, a hint of fangs against skin. Nothing more, just a reminder of the bliss offered in their late morning. The memory sent a shiver up Yi's spine.

With their bodies still pressed, he could now feel Yasuo's growing want, bulge rubbing against the latter's rear. So slowly he grinded back, enough to get a small groan as answer. But the exchange itself remained almost chaste, not very rushed or needy. Instead a very languid worship, carresses with reverence and admiration.

« All this is very nice but is that all you got ? I could very well do this on my own... » Yi said, teasing.

« And I would love to watch you at it… But for now, you will get what I give you. » Voice turning severe on that second sentence.

 _Oh. That's interesting_.

« Or… I could take it myself. » Yi was a bit surprised by hiw own reply. The other man wanted to play strict, dominant and the mere idea of standing up to him was new. Not always he could let himself go. So after he spoke, Yi brought one of his hands to his own need, cupping his hardening cock. A moan came up but he kept it for himself.

 _What is he going to do ?_

He didn't have to wait much longer : Yasuo stopped his ministrations by taking his hand and kept it between them. Now Yi had an arm blocked in his back. Not forcefully, he could get out of that easily but he let it that way by curiosity.

« If you try something like that again, don't count on me for any help, since you seem perfectly able to take care of yourself. »

This was really starting to turn Yi on. Yasuo could be very convincing if he wanted to, to the point where the latter doubted the whole situation. Slowly his heartbeat increased as fangs nibbled his neck. Yi bit his lower lips, willing to stay quiet.

« See, it's not that difficult. Wait and things will happen in due time. »

Yasuo went lower and stroked the latter's erection through the clothing. In the embrace, Yi shifted slightly, trying not to move but it became difficult. Then Yasuo took him in hand, slipping in his pants without any wait. Though he kept the same slowness, long strokes with minimum friction. _It's so mean_. It wouldn't give him much stimulation, to Yi's chagrin.

During all this Yasuo kept the latter's arm blocked, feeling a start of struggling in his grasp.

« You're quiet. I was mistaken, maybe you don't need to come ? » Yasuo's tone showed just nonchalance, almost disinterest.

« Maybe I just need you to actually start. » patience would come to an end soon.

« Oh but I will... » with a dark tone.

The next second, Yi was turned around in one swift move, held firmly by his lover. He met Yasuo's gaze and that sole sight was enough to tremble of anticipation. Burning want half concealed by a serious expression, just one step before anger. Then a hand in his hair forced him to bare his neck, with enough unexpected strenght to make Yi gasp. No recovery allowed, Yasuo was already biting him, tight embrace hard to escape. But in any case, Yi didn't try or want to get out of it. After the first flash of pain, it dulled as quick and was replaced by that strange kind of pleasure. He could feel Yasuo, on several points but the fangs sinking in his flesh were the most overwhelming. Yi loved that instant, heart pounding in his chest. Then Yasuo took some of his blood and he couldn't help but clign to him shakily. Till his legs buckled, making him fall to his knees with no chance to hold on the other man for support.

Immediately Yasuo was to his level and for a moment he looked so worried. Yi was dazed, his gaze trying to focus on the latter while he was busy making sure of his well-being.

« Shit ! You're alright ? » for a man trying to sound dominant not even a minute ago, the contrast was stark. _Always thoughtful_.

Yi laughed softly, really touched by this out of character breaking : « Don't stop when I'm starting to enjoy it. You were doing so great. »

« Tell me if I go too far. Or kick me. » said with relief.

« No need. » The mood had been changed a bit so they had to get this moving. « Where were we ? Ah yes, you were about to start, no ? Hurry up, I might get bored. »

To see Yasuo's gaze darken suddenly left the other man flustered. Yi braced himself for the storm coming, one that he caused.

In no time, the latter pushed him back to the nearby wall. Yasuo had him sit on his lap, trapped between the wall and this demon ready to strike. But instead of murderous vibe, he radiated arousal and sheer determination. Yasuo came back to his lover's neck, sealing the last bite and giving small ones without depth. The number made it a passionate assault, adorning Yi's skin with a myriad of bruises and red marks. The sensitivity of this zone made him squirm, still very hard despite the pause. And this time, Yasuo took the initiative to undress them both. Air got hotter in this short distance, a few breathy moans whispered.

At some point, Yi couldn't take more and bucked against the other man, trying communicate his desperation.

Yasuo didn't make the effort to look up from his work : « If you want something, you will have to speak. I can't read your mind. » Back to the stern voice.

« I want you... » He shook a little, breaking a sweat. To see his lover so little involved was maddening.

« I'm right here. Be more specific. » This time he met Yi's eyes and for a second he let his affection to see.

« Inside… Please... » saying it out loud left him a bit mortified.

« Yes but what exactly ? » This was a game for Yasuo and playing oblivious seemed to be entertaining for him.

« Your cock ! Damnit, I need you to fuck me ! Please... » Inhibitions could go to hell, he wanted so much.

« If you insist. » even now Yasuo couldn't hide his arousal. All the teasing had been fun but himself had his own need to take care of.

Yi made a broken noise when the other man got out of their embrace. In fact, Yasuo was just looking for lube but breaking contact even a short instant felt like an eternity.

As quick he came back and resumed their previous position, stiffening in surprise when his erection brushed against Yi's. Enough to bring more precum at the tip. Yasuo still made a bit of space to prepare his lover, reaching lower. It went rather fast, Yi being more than relaxed for this, fingers worked him open without resistance. Feeling his lover clench down made Yasuo crave for more, patience eroded even more by the display in front of him. Yi had his eyes closed for a small time, surrending to the intimate stimulation. Prostate touched, he arched his back suddenly, muffling his moan with his hand. The sight was so erotic, Yasuo could be lost in it.

He grabbed Yi's hand to entwine with his, making sure the latter couldn't try to retain his noises : « I don't remember asking you to stay quiet. Let me hear you. » His composure fell bit by bit.

Yasuo couldn't take more. He lubed his hard cock, aching for attention then positionned himself. He nudged Yi's hole, and the following shiver echoed in both men. Yi looked at him, control slipping for good. That starved gaze prompted Yasuo to move. Pushing in, there was no need to pause since Yi took it without visible strain. A wanton noise fell of his lips when Yasuo was fully sheathed, at last letting go. By now Yi was just clinging to him, trying to rock back the best he could. The latter shifted them both so Yi was leaning more on him, and as result, driving him deeper into his lover. The new point reached had both moaning, one thanks to the deep sensation, the other from the following clench. They knew they wouldn't last.

A slight change of position, Yasuo lifted Yi just a bit to gain some leverage. The he could pound into him more efficiently. Back to the wall, embraced by his lover chasing their climax, Yi let go. Each thrust rocked his being, he thought he would shatter if he came.

« Yi… Talk to me…. » said out of breath.

At first, he could just moan his pleasure and even thinking a correct sentence was a challenge. : « Good…. Feels so good…. D-Don't stop... »

« Keep going... »

« You're… so big… Ah-… So full… Oh gods I need…... » his voice cracked, just like a sob.

By now Yasuo was merely rutting inside the other man, too taken by their link. Feeling the edge near, he kissed Yi to taste his pleas before parting. This way he could see when Yi came, the truest form of bliss painted on his face, eyes closed. Yasuo struggled to keep watching as himself found his release, bucking in that sweet warmth while he rode his climax. Yi rested his head against the latter's shoulder, crying in this much needed orgasm.

Movement slowed till they relaxed down, catching their breath.

« I told you it would be worth the wait. » Yi laughed a bit, a genuine smile lit his face. Yasuo saw it happen before his eyes, a little more smitten than before. They were a mess, sticky and sore but he got to see a sunshine. It made his day.


	40. Chapter 40

The weather was better this day so Yi decided to meditate outside. Going to the gardens, he wasn't surprised to be followed by Yasuo, constant presence to his side. They settled comfortably, the demon lying down with his head resting on Yi's lap. Nothing special, all in sweet habit.

Afternoon passed quietly. In the cheer agitation of the woods, birds chirping, there was no real silence but this lively atmosphere around the village. A strange contrast with its dead nature once within. But it wasn't something Yasuo noticed, except if pointed out. He was just resting, in direct contact with Yi and that was all he asked.

From time to time he changed his position, rolling on his other side but nothing more. Just a breeze around, not even chilly.

Later he woke up, realising he fell asleep on this peaceful spot he had. Fighting his drowsiness, he payed more attention to any change while he was gone. A hand was buried in his hair, idly stroking, going through locks without an hitch. Maybe it was what woke him up. So Yasuo rose with slow movements, enough to be at eye level with the other man. A short pause. Yi was smiling at him, the kindest of smiles that could be brought only by a friendly sight. _So precious !_ The urge was too strong, Yasuo pushed his lover back in the grass then kissed him. Chaste because still closed but definitely passionnate. He could feel Yi trying to laugh under that, what he did once they parted. Two grown men, lying in the grass, never Yasuo felt this young than in these occasions. Like they could do anything, without fear. _He's all that matters_. Hands going to either side of Yi's head, he leaned closer till their foreheads touched. Sparkling gaze versus a fierce one.

Time seemed to slow down, nothing mattered except his man. Yasuo spoke up : « You're so adorable ! I would die for you without hesitation. » Said in the heat of the moment but he meant it, deep in his heart.

For a split second the latter broke serious : « Please don't. Even if you're joking. » But he was then cut short by another kiss, delving deeper.

This move was supposed to render Yi speechless and the plan worked. At the edge of 'too much', a dance with the devil, so to say. When at last it came to an end, Yasuo was more than pleased to see that dreamy gaze adressed to him.

« You like to take my breath away, don't you ? » His tone gave away the same thing than his gaze, that adoration.

« Ehehe yes, you can say that. But only in that case. In bed, not so much. Except if you want to, ahem if one day you want me to. » Said very quickly, a succession of sentence increasingly awkward. « But I'm not forcing you at all. Shit, maybe I should just shut up. »

 _So dumb. Think before talking, damnit_. It still happened to Yasuo to let go out loud his train of thoughts.

All this happened right before Yi's eyes so he didn't miss a thing. To Yasuo's relief, the other man didn't seem shocked or annoyed. He just looked surprised.

« Forget what I said, please. It never happened. » In a try to regain his composure.

Yi's expression softened, surely from seeing the other man so bothered by his own behaviour.

« No need to fret, I understand. But you're really strong at finding a gross turn to any sentence, it's funny. I'll start to think you do it on purpose. »

« No I'm not ! It's just the way I phrased it sounded weird so I wanted to correct that and... » He sighed in defeat. « … this mess happens sometime. »

« Refering to asphyxiation but in a more deviant way ? Like a kind of breath play ? I didn't know you would be the kind to enjoy that but I'm no one to judge. »

« It's not what you think ! » Embarrassment crept up Yasuo's tone, from the idea mentionned and his lover's curious gaze.

« No need to justify yourself. Everybody has their own preferences. » There was a hint of amusement in his tone, not making fun of Yasuo but of their conversation itself. « But would you like to try someday ? »

« I'm not- what ? » The open suggestion left him even less stable. In this state of confusion, Yasuo sat up from his previous position above his lover. « Errrrrrr I don't know, I mean it's really low in my list. But yes, one day…. ? »

« You only need to ask. » As Yi spoke, he rose to join the latter, arms snaking in his back to pull him into a hug.

For some time they stayed in this position, Yasuo sitting on Yi's lap while they kept the embrace loose. A gentle rocking, soothing.

Silence was broken as the same time than the hug, when Yi asked with new happiness in his voice : « Hey ! Can I braid your hair ? »

 _How cute ?_ The offer was so peculiar but also achingly innocent. Yi was staring at him with big questionning eyes, like a kid would do with such demand.

« Yes, do as you want. » Such request didn't left Yasuo indifferent.

Without waiting longer, Yi moved to go behind the other man then started his work enthusiastically. In the same vein than before when he was brushing Yasuo's hair, there was this joyful aura floating around him. Yasuo loved this sort of attention, through delicate effort. _My heart can't take it_.

He noticed how careful and skilled Yi was in his task, not tugging too strong. It was done in record time, as his lover made an efficient work. _Already ?_

« Waw, you're so fast, even at this ! Impressive. » He was really amazed, shaking lightly his head to feel the long braid dangling a little. Touching with care, Yasuo traced it down.

« I had a lot of practice in my youth. » Yi answered, at first with a hint of sweet sadness, quickly replaced by a large grin. At first Yasuo perceived that short emotion and he wanted to ask about it. But seeing how fast Yi hid it, he prefered not to. Yasuo could tell the latter was really proud of his work. So he focused on that instead.

« Could I try too ? I cannot guaranty the same result but I would really like to give it a try ! »

« I fear my hair isn't nearly as long as yours so it would be more difficult. But it would be a pleasure to let you do. Maybe one day. »

« I'd love to see you with long hair. Surely something worth to be seen. » Facing Yi, he leaned closer till he could whisper to his ear : « Such beautiful hair, imagine if I pulled at it during our lovemaking. Would you like it ? »

Against him, Yi went tense suddenly, a bit of red staining his cheeks. Yasuo took it as a wrong clue : « Or maybe not ? Maybe you're not into that ? I don't want to hurt you, I swear. »

 _Damnit._

Yi's light laugh resonnated in the quiet gardens.


	41. Chapter 41

They went back to the house when the sun disappeared for this day. For a moment the landscape was painted with warm colors, fading little by little. It was breath-taking to see.

The evening went on a similar way than the afternoon, quiet but comfortable for both. Meal taken, a good time of lying down on the terrace, a conversation about life and else. When Yi started to unfasten the braid, the latter pouted a bit. He liked how it looked when he went to a mirror. But the other man was adamant, saying it would damage Yasuo's hair if he kept it tied during the night. A lot of grumbling but he complied nonetheless.

Going to bed, Yasuo had thin hopes for some good fuck. Despite himself, each time he stepped into the room it awakened his craving. But he would put it aside for this night. Yi seemed exhausted, surely because he didn't recover fully from last night's insomnia. So Yasuo chose not to start anything heated and rather settled for some cuddles. Grateful, Yi went closer under the blanket to bask into the proximity of his lover. Sweet warmth, spreading to his soul. A last kiss for goodnight then they could let go and try to sleep.

« Focus, Yi ! You're distracted. » Clear voice, jingling in his ears. It never got old.

 _Ah_.

A jab to his knee ripped him out this sort of trance. He lost his balance for a short time but he recovered quickly, attention coming back to his opponent.

There was a burst of laughs not far, children sitting at the limit of the practice ground, in the gardens. « Young Master almost fell ! » More giggles followed, from the funny tragedy that could have occurred.

She made them quiet down : « Hush ! This is not your fight. Any of you would like to come here and try to do better ? Be my guest. »

The small crowd went dead silent, wide eyes staring back at her.

« That's what I thought. Yi, let's continue. And this time, pay more attention. »

« Yes mother. »

Swords ready, they circled each other. Then the duel started and the symphony of wood against wood resonated in the gardens. All in swiftness and speed, jab, parry, one after the other. From time to time their audience let out an impressed noise in unisson, when there was a particularly sensational move.

The sun was shining bright high in the sky, the air mild in this good season. The atmosphere was so calm, nothing that could distract him. He focused on the fight and did his best. Body ready to spur into action at each blow, used to this style of combat. Nothing new and he was still losing. _I have to get stronger_. His defence lacked. Again, she hit his leg after on of his tentatives so he fell to his knees.

He was ready to surrender, no way to fight back from this point.

But something changed.

He had been stabbed.

 _What ?_

She didn't offer him a helping hand to stand. She had stabbed him. In her grasp, not a training sword but the family's blade. Piercing through his chest. And heart.

 _No_

Reality shattered, everything turning dark. The laughs faded away like ghosts. Consciousness came back, memories so foreign but present. He didn't understand. Pinned down on the grass, vicious pain in his chest, impaled. It hurt a lot. Blood soaked his clothing. Nothing made sense. _I shouldn't be alive… How ?_ Panick flooded his mind.

But it was somehow forgotten when he looked up, betrayed.

 _Mother…_ He tried to speak but only made a garbled sound, blood up his throat. Sharp taste in his mouth, it made him sick. How could he breath ? How could he still function ? Impossible, he was at loss.

Above, she watched him struggle. The sight alone turned his blood to ice. As beautiful as he remembered her, the way a child always saw their parents. But a livid gaze, features empty of the red of life. She looked dead, slowly blinking at his pain. Her grip on the hilt of the blade never faltered, forcing even more, a real torture.

When she spoke up, it was definetely her voice, same that lulled him back to sleep : « Why did you left ? » The contrast was even worse, absolutely cold where before it was so hearty.

Empty eyes staring at him, at his soul. He wanted to scream but couldn't. He wanted to protect himself but couldn't. Frozen on the spot, agony piercing his heart.

« Why did you abandon us ? » She spoke again, the blade delving deeper, twisting a bit in the deadly wound.

 _No no no…._

Words hit him, a low blow.

Then she sort of snapped : « You left us. You ran away. Why did you do that ? Didn't we love you ? All this for a stupid war, not even of our concern. The rule was to never leave the village and you broke it ! » Horrible, tears seemed to cloud her gaze yet it was still dead. « You betrayed us ! You took our blade and went to kill people with it. Wuju was never meant to bring death. »

It sank in him, each sentence making his heart bleed as much as the sword.

« We never raised you to be a killer… And it served you well. By sowing death, you only brought it here ! See, everyone is dead ! Everyone but you ! »

 _Shut up. Please shut up_.

It hurt. He wished for his end, not able to take it.

« All this is your fault ! Never Noxus would have attacked the village if you didn't catch its attention. You ran away without care for the consequences ! You killed us all ! »

He felt like dying, too much emotions choking him. Air was gone, he suffocated. An empty stare directed to him, haunting.

« YOU SHOULDN'T BE ALIVE »

Everything disappeared. He woke up.

Air went back, filling his lungs in short breaths. All was black then he got used to it and eventually could recognise the room. Memories bubbled up, Yi saw the blur between reality and nightmare, still clawing at him. Panick fading bit by bit, he registered his position. On his back, damp with sweat, hands over his chest, still clutching at somethings that was never there. Like he had tried to stop the pain. The memory of it stung. It shocked him strangely to find his hands clean, not covered in blood.

He breathed and the noise made sounded too much like a sob. Yi wouldn't have cared about it but he remembered also the presence of the other man, next to him. Without waiting, he rose and checked if Yasuo was awake. He wasn't, to Yi's relief. At least one thing wasn't so bad this night.

A full body shiver took him, cold seeping in his veins. The trembling got so bad, Yi felt himself leaning toward his lover, craving contact. He caught himself before it could happen. Too scared, too shaken. _I can't_. Avoid waking Yasuo at any cost. Never he should witness that. Never. It hurt to fight this urge for touch but he had no choice.

Already tears welled up in his eyes, the horror of the night gnawing at him slowly. He still heard the voice in his head. _Her voice_. It hurt.

He had to go. Now. Before he would break.

Yi went out of the bed, put the blanket back with care then left. He knew where his steps would bring him.

 _Away_.


	42. Chapter 42

So the followed the well known path, one he used multiple times. By now he didn't even need some light. It was like Yi shut down any useless function, he just had to make a step, then another, and another. _Don't think. Hold a little longer_. Till he was far enough of the house. _Put as much distance as possible_. Hide. The pain didn't stop though, it stayed in his chest, cruel reminder. _Just a little longer_.

The cemetery was as quiet as usual, not even a slight breeze. In such black night, one couldn't see very far, just make out the first row of graves. Yi was used to the sight now, he knew were to go. Could tell by memory where each villager was resting forever. Grass and nature invaded bit by bit the place but it was normal, a return to order.

Empty gaze falling on the tomb he was looking for. The two he was looking for. It was pure habit to go back here, on this peculiar occasions. It had been some time since his last visit, surely in correlation with the arrival of a certain demon. Nightmares were every night's luxury back then, no distraction possible. No hope. He happened to think why it came back tormenting him. Why it started again.

« I'm back. » A whisper to the deads, voice already tied by emotion.

He fell to his knees, facing her grave. _See ? Just a nightmare…_ His hand went to the cold stone without thinking. _She's dead_.

Something shattered within him, like every time he came here. It was what he was truly searching. Broken, his composure, this mask. Here he was allowed to cry, so he did. At first just a few tears, that would turn into a steady fall. Yi let go, pain twisting his heart. He cried here because the deads couldn't judge him anymore, the living yes.

Breath shortened, sobs shook his shoulders. It was awful. Her voice never left him at peace since he woke up. Screaming the truth he already knew, cutting his heart each time deeper. Little by little, he bent, like under the burden of his own actions. _All dead but you. All dead. Dead. Because of you_.

 _YOU KILLED US ALL_

What could he do but take it ? That was why he came here, to let out his pain without Yasuo hearing of it, yes. But also something else. Coming to the cemetery was a reminder of what he had done, of his choice and crime. Yi wasn't seeking some comfort, he would never find it there, even less be worthy. He came for the pain. _This is what I deserve_.

Went to kill, rewarded by death. What now ? He potentially killed someone's family too. Noxians were human after all, there must be some people waiting their sons, daughters back home. All is a question of point of view. Yi killed strangers and so he lost his relatives. Ionia was a land of harmony, murder should never have happened here. For being so zealous to protect his country, he was offered a dead home. Equivalence.

In this pit of despair, he tried to cast his thoughts away, focus on Noxus. _It's their fault. Noxus. They did this_. Fists clutched, still crying. Noxus… The spark of anger came up but it wasn't as strong as before. This trick didn't work for a long time. He could try his best to convince himself the blood was on Noxus hands, the responsibility for this massacre was his. The flames of hatred had been long faded by his self-loathing.

 _You deserve nothing but solitude_

It had been also a long time since he allowed himself to cry this much. Last time was an accident though, he got carried away and the idea of losing Yasuo was unbearable. But never again in his presence. This was an open door to more questions. He refused to be helped, it was supposed to be the opposite.

There was still this small light, hope, so weak and yet so craved. But right now Yi was drowning into darkness and nothing seemed to wait him. So frail hope. All these days, weeks by Yasuo's side were a blessing compared to his previous daily life. Never he would have thought about receiving such thing. So so grateful. But the terror of the night made everything look dim, impossible to reach. Like happiness was just an illusion, broken without mercy.

You have no right to be happy

Death wasn't even an option. When these thoughts haunted him, the possibility always looked so appealing. That would be a fitting punishment. But he couldn't. They wouldn't forgive him if he let himself die. The last survivor wasn't allowed to die.

 _You didn't survive us all to give up on life right afterward_

 _You will live and suffer_

 _You will bear the weigh of consequences. It's your burden for life. You created it yourself._

Her voice was just a whisper in his head, slight, piercing cold.

 _My fault, my fault, my fault…_ Yi was completely down, hugging himself in vain attempt of warmth. Frame trembling, from the cold and the sadness. It seemed like tears came to an end, maybe his body couldn't give more. But he still felt empty. The whispers had stopped, a new kind of silence. Enough to send his thoughts to something else. _Yasuo_. He needed him. Despite knowing perfectly he didn't deserve such kind treatment, he needed his lover. Acceptance. Presence. Love.

Yi wasn't in the right state of mind to come back home. But he wanted to so much. Just go back to bed, feel Yasuo come closer to cuddle in his sleep, just a touch. This would go to the disaster if the other man saw him like this. Yi had to take this risk, hope he would be asleep, unaware of what happened.

In uncontrolled hurry, he stood up and went back by the same path. It was like surrending completely to his body's urges but not in a sexual, carnal way. Just a craving for safety.

But just when he reached the house, something was wrong. Yasuo's aura, near. As Yi stepped into the house, he found his lover, very awake.

« Yi ? » Sleepy tone but hidding very badly his worry.

Suddenly he just wanted to run away.

Trapped.

I know this is quite limitated for interaction with readers but I'd love to thank each one of you. Really, it's amazing. Bless you all 3


	43. Chapter 43

_Grmbl... awake_

It happened sometime to Yasuo, as much as the next person. Nothing really special. Just roll on the other side and fall asleep again. Even eyes closed, he deduced there was plenty of time to sleep left. He curled under the blanket like in a cocoon, reaching slowly for his lover. But he found nothing. Still very numb with sleep, not really understanding, Yasuo searched further. But he was truly alone in bed.

 _What the fuck ?_

His eyes blinked open, he checked if he was mistaken. No presence. Yi was gone. Where he was supposed to be there was only an empty space. A bit of warmth lingered, clue of someone having slept here but so faint, it seemed like hours ago.

 _AH_

It was time to surrend to panick. Not even fully awake, he looked for Yi, though there was almost no chance to find him near. His senses registered nothing, no human life around. Yasuo felt ice running down his spine, doubt and fear as only company. _Alone_. He hated that.

 _Where is he ?_

It was worse than being alone. Knowing Yi wasn't here, in this house. _Gone_. He needed to calm down, this was going to the point of paranoia.

 _Okay okay okay. So. Where could he go. In the middle of the night ? In the middle of nowhere ?_

He was alone, a bit scared despite everything. _If something happened, I would have known_. Yasuo was still in the bed, quite lost, hands going to the empty side without thinking.

Since no answer would come on its own, he had to move. At least to appease his worry.

Yasuo got out of bed and went to the living room, quiets steps he while paid attention to any clue. Nothing, no visible reason to Yi's absence. The blade was in its usual place, everything in order in the house. Just like the other man just disappeared. It twisted Yasuo's heart, to be the only living thing around. Solitude wasn't to his liking, never was. A part of his life but not one he enjoyed.

Right now, the craving for closeness was getting stronger, need for human warmth, presence. A soul. _Where is he ? Where is he ? Where is he... ?_ Cruel fear, to be alone. Like a child in an empty house.

Fear for himself. Fear for Yi. His lover wasn't here, anything could happen to him. _Hurt ?_ Thinking about the possibilities was a bad idea.

Outside. He had to go, to find Yi.

But as soon as he made the decision, there was no need to search anymore. A bit far but getting stronger, a presence. One he guessed was Yi's. A small light in the darkness, becoming clearer as it moved closer.

 _Yi..._

So much relief brought by a single soul. Yasuo could let the breath held in his short panick. He made a few hurried steps toward the door, very glad to be reunited with his lover. Before he could do it, the door was opened. Here he was. Yi, just having stepped into the living room, froze completely.

Yasuo saw that, not really expecting such reaction. They faced each other in the dark. He knew Yi couldn't see in this absence of light, as he did. Surely all he saw was the faint glow of Yasuo's eyes. But his aura too. Difficult to ignore the constant corruption following the man. Both could feel each other coming but not in the same way.

Neither moved but Yasuo didn't understand why. He found Yi. What a relief, what a joy to see his beloved back to him, unharmed. A hug would be incredibly fitting for this situation, touch, feel what he missed. But no.

Something was off. The way Yi had stopped dead in his tracks. How he was looking in Yasuo's direction, not accurately at him since he couldn't. Emotions difficult to read, slight confusion, gaze a bit more wide than usual. _Fear ?_ All in Yi's stance was on the defensive. That was why Yasuo didn't try to reach for him : the other man looked cornered. But he didn't understand why. What was the risk, the danger ? No one but Yasuo was here. _Scared... of me... ?_ It hurt to admit this possibility, while neither dared to make a move. Yi seemed not really scared but more suspicious, of what the latter could do. Like he didn't trust him right now.

A real stab to his heart. Yasuo didn't understand at all. What did I do ? Maybe nothing, maybe it was just him being what he was. Yi looked afraid of him. Memories from before, when the demon could have killed him after the samurai. Not the same dread, horror but still a look on Yi's face that made the man torn. Yasuo hopped he was just mistaken, that his eyes weren't that good. But Yi didn't move yet. Something stopped him from doing so.

« Yi ? » Quiet, like he was trying not to spook him.

Nothing happened for an instant then he answered : « Yes ? » And his voice had a small tremor, due to previous emotion. Yasuo perceived that and it increased his worry.

« Where were you ? »

« Outside. »

All this exchange with no move, just words resonating in the room. Yi's stance didn't change, maybe a little more tense.

 _Outside, very helpful._ Yasuo sighed. « I got that but where ? »

This time Yi kept silent, stare still in the latter's direction, alert.

 _So it matters. He went somewhere_. What was said also helped him to understand. In the back of his mind, a thought, insistent. He had to see Yi, better. Anything would help him. Yasuo braced himself and switched the light on.

There was a very short time when the piercing light illuminated the room, hard contrast to the previous darkness. At first Yi was surprised, turning his face away as he got accustomed. Then as quick he came to Yasuo's level and switched the light off, in a flash. The move in itself was very fast, in a flash.

But it had been enough for Yasuo to see. Tears. _He cried_. He feared something like that but it still hurt him. _He was away to cry_. That was the most logical explanation.

Now darkness were back but he saw enough. Since the other man was close, Yasuo brought a hand to his face. Make sure he saw right. Indeed he cradled a damp cheek and he tried to brush away the tears still here. But couldn't. Yi took away his hand like it burned him then got out of this short distance, heading to the room.

« Hey wait ! What's wrong ? » Yasuo let out his worry.

« I'm fine. » So much effort to sound annoyed or just blank but he couldn't. It turned more distressed.

Yasuo went after him in the room, trying to make contact but the other would just escape.

« No you're not. You cried. Why ? »

« It's not you business ! Let me get some sleep. » A hint of anger amidst too many emotions.

Yi sat in bed, going for the blanket, back to his place. But Yasuo joined him as quick and forced him to face him. He hated having to be forceful, even more when it was contrary to what Yi wanted. But he had to. _We have to talk_. There was a start fo struggling from the latter but he let go shortly. They were sitting on the mattress, Yasuo hands on him to prevent him from leaving. Though Yi kept resolutely his face turned away from the latter. Under his touch, Yasuo felt him shaking. Seeing his lover like that was painful, so open to see, so afraid of him. Like he didn't want to be here.

Yi muttered : « Why are you doing this to me ? »

It hit deep.


	44. Chapter 44

_Why is he like that ? Why is he so stubborn ?_

Great question but an answer wouldn't help at all his situation. Yi knew the latter could indeed be quite determined when he wanted to, admired it even so but seeing it used against him was torture. He even doubted Yasuo would ever let down this topic. It was too late, he took it at heart. Yi loved his determination but now it was a weapon turned to him. Next question was be to know who would break first, both having reasons to resist.

Yi refused to talk. Already truly exhausted by the nightmare, crying and else, he felt like a ball of emotions. _Too much_. _Coming back was a mistake_. He should have stayed outside, waited longer. The second he stepped into the house he had been caught and never Yasuo would let him go. His frame was trembling, increasingly. Need to cry again. More than ever he felt these darkness in his mind, conciousness not so gentle with himself. Now that he was so close to his lover, he felt less than worthy to be here, accepted.

Reduce the distance, just enough to embrace the other man, indulge the touch. He felt empty, this would be so nice. To feel another human's warmth. _No, don't deserve_.

Frozen on the spot, except for the shaking overtaking him, Yi didn't made a move. Fight to keep the instinct low. _Don't need that, don't need that, don't need that…._ A real inner struggle took place. He craved so much, emotionally and physically but there was still these thoughts. Voices telling his wrongs, arguments over arguments about not being allowed to be feel safe, to receive kindness. Part of him wanted to cuddle with Yasuo, hold him close enough to hear his heartbeat. Another part screamed to run away, not to move, fight back, push the man away. Anything but human touch. How could someone feel both attracted to another person and repulsed ? _Too much…_ Like his self-taught unworthiness dictated to reject any kind of touch. Not sure if that feeling was his own or something imposed.

Nothing made sense, Yi wasn't even sure what he wanted, needs in contradiction. Run away, kiss him, cry, any of that or the three at once. The strongest urge was to hide but Yasuo prevented that, firm grasp on his arms. Nowhere to go, trapped like an animal. Little by little Yi was losing control over what he let to see, emotions plainly readable on his face.

« I'm not doing this to hurt you. » There was an effort from Yasuo to even his voice, not to sound too worried or demanding.

« And yet it hurts. » Tremor shaking his tone.

« Please, that's not what I seek. I just want to help you. »

« If you really wanted to help, you would leave me at peace. Why do you have to… to do that ? » Voice so small, close to break. As he talked Yi felt tears coming to his eyes, words, coming a little stangled.

« But I already let this pass. Several times. You still refuse to talk even though you're in pain. » Yasuo clearly sensed the distress.

« I am not ! »

There was a pause, long enough for Yi to look up. It was dark, middle of the night but he could see as much emotion from Yasuo.

« That's full bullshit. 'Not in pain' but still you cried ! And you deny it ! I had never thought you could lie to me like that. You act like it's normal to hurt that much but it's not true. » Sadness, shock turning to anger, tone affected by the difficult waking, the tension. « Please, I'm here to help you. That's what a couple means, no ? To take care of each other, mend wounds. But I can't do anything of that if you don't even admit you're suffering. »

 _A lie_. Yi was already very aware of his situation, the pain. So yes, it was a lie. Itself it wasn't a matter but the accusation in Yasuo's tone changed things. He wasn't one prone to lie, he was taught it brought no good. Though it was to protect himself, it hurt Yasuo. So Yi resented himself a little more for that. Much needed lie, sweet poison.

Tears fell again, nothing to stop it. Just another crack, on something broken for a long time. Yi tried to keep it down, not let anything happen before the latter's eyes but he couldn't. Completely cornered, no escape. He broke once more, hoping it would still be possible to pick up the pieces. He lowered his face in shame.

So Yasuo panicked, watching the break down happen : « Oh no no no please ! I'm sorry ! I understand, I'm making this even worse, without a doubt it hurts you to talk about that. I know I ask you a lot but please talk to me. It will be painful but at the end it will get better, I promise. Tell me, I hate to see you hurt. »

Surely he wanted to soothe Yi so he went to embrace him. As soon as Yasuo hugged him, a reflex took him and he pushed him at respectable distance, back to their previous position. This move was a bit ridiculous, it just wounded the latter's heart. _Ah shit. Shouldn't have done that_. Yi blamed himself harder. This short contact had already been too much. Not enough. _Ugh_. He hated feeling. And the tears didn't stop, never seemed to show an end.

« I… can't... » It hurt, air getting rare.

« We can start slowly. Like… where did you go tonight ? Just answer this. » Yasuo did his best to carry on carefully.

 _Ok ok ok. Calm down. It's easy_. Fighting back a bit of control over himself, Yi focused, angrily wiping away the tears. The answer came immediately but it got stuck in him, suddenly unsure about that. Thinking about the cemetery meant thinking about his parents, about the nightmare, about ghosts from the past. The usual need to lock himself, hide. _No, Yasuo is waiting for an answer. He will not give up_.

Inhale, exhale, another time, to fade the weeping. « The cemetery of the village. Not far. » Said in a breath.

« Yes, I know where it is. So you went there. » Calm tone, slightly relieved to have an answer. « Now, is there a reason or not ? »

 _No, not that_. A shiver took him. He choked on his breath, not sure about what to say, to elude. During this, Yasuo waited, patient. With great care he was attempting another hug, till Yi was leaning against him. This time, no reflex to flee.

« I went to see the graves. » Just one sentence and already his voice got strained with emotion. _Breathe_. « Of my parents. »

« Why ? I'm not attacking, or anything. But why would you go to the cemetery at night ? It's not really the best time. Even less for a place so sinister. »

Yi clutched the blanket uncounciously, body trembling again. It was getting a bit too much, though it was lower thanks to Yasuo. But the topic wasn't relaxing to talk about.

« I-I had to go there. »

« But why ? »

 _I can't say it…_ For once, words didn't come easily.

« Because it hurts... »

« Wait, I don't understand. What hurts ? Going there ? »

He nodded.

« But why would you go to the cemetery if it's painful ? » Genuine worry in his voice.

Several time Yi wanted to speak but couldn't. Till he got enough courage. « That's what I seek. What I deserve. It reminds me of what I did. » Voice lowered to a whisper.

This time it was Yasuo who broke the embrace to look that the other man, holding him in a strong grasp. But what hit Yi was the wide gaze directed to him, surprise, almost fear. _What ?_

« You do it on purpose ? You go there because it hurts ? » Despite himself he shook Yi, a little but enough to be noticed, enough to worry him. He nodded yes again and seemed that Yasuo lost his calm. « You're… doing that to hurt yourself ? »

All this was starting to scare Yi. _Not safe_. The same feeling than before, suffocating him. He had let out too much, maybe too soon. The touch so welcome minutes ago seemed less and less comfortable, turning like a burn.

 _He knows too much_. Deeply he hoped Yasuo wouldn't react to his words, that telling him was more than enough. He should have thought about that. _Oh no_.

 _I'm not ready for this_.


	45. Chapter 45

_Fucking damnit. It's worse than I thought_.

Never Yasuo would imagined something like that. Of course, he knew that what tormented Yi was serious, not some mere matter. But hearing that it went to the point of seeking pain deliberately, it broke his heart. Yi had tried to hurt himself. _Or did it already, who knows ?_ Yasuo hated to realize that he knew nothing at all of this, ignorant to such level. What if it had been going on just under his nose, without even noticing ? No wonder why Yi was so shaken right now. For someone so calm, showing the smallest kind of pain was the proof something was wrong. A full break down now, Yasuo couldn't tell how deep was the injury. _Agonizing_.

The latter didn't nod nor confirm the last ask but his changing stance due to Yasuo's reaction told everything. Yi was closing himself back, like he had said too much. Making himself smaller, gaze averted. This only showed that Yasuo was right, though he wished he wasn't.

 _So it's true…_

It made him sick. To have that knowledge. To know Yi was so low but showed nothing of it on purpose. Yasuo had to check, see the wounds he never noticed, see the damage he could have prevented if he hadn't been so blind.

Even his vision in the dark wouldn't be enough, if he had to be very watchful. He stood up, went to switch on the light.

Just a few seconds but enough for Yi to make a move. Before he shielded himself from the light, he took a few steps toward the door, though facing Yasuo during it. Never letting him out of his sight, like a prey staring wearily at its predator. Yi still looked very distressed, surely not over the conversation, frame trembling. Red graced his cheeks but not for the usual reasons, more because of the weeping.

Yasuo felt bad for representing a danger. The other man was scared of him, putting some distance. Yi needed help, without a doubt. But he would run away as fast. Yasuo had to stop him from doing so, he wanted to make sure he was fine, at least physically. _He's trying to flee…_

« Don't. Stay here, please. »

The latter shook his head at the negative, slowly heading to the door. It meant something that he wasn't gone yet. Yasuo was very aware that he was the fastest warrior, running out of the house could be done in a blink without problem. But he didn't yet. _I have to try. To see_.

Another step away from him. Each one hurt Yasuo a bit more. _No trust… ?_

« Please. Don't run away. I can't bear that... » His voice got out slightly strangled, heavy with emotion. It was awful.

The tone must have touched Yi, maybe just a little. In any case, he stilled, very tense but not going away for now. _Thanks the gods_.

With cautious steps, Yasuo joined the latter. Distance closed, Yi didn't try to move when a hand carressed his face gently, an attempt at soothing.

« Thanks » Barely a whisper.

Then Yasuo got to work. He checked for potential wounds, suspicious scars, any clue he could find. But after baring Yi's arms, there wasn't any trace of harm, nothing to the wrists. Under his touch, the other man was getting restless, not voicing his confusion but already overwhelmed. Yasuo went looking elsewhere, aware that his actions weren't very comfortable for Yi but he had to appease his worry.

Opening the clothing, he felt Yi go stiff : « What are you doing ? » He asked, voice so unsure, beyond confusion.

« Scars. Where are you injuring yourself ? I can't find it. » Eyes alert, focused on Yi's body but not his reactions.

Nothing, just pale skin. _Where is it ? It exists, I'm sure. But he hides it too well._ This was maddening, Yasuo couldn't find anything.

« Stop that... » Yi made a first gesture to push him away. « You're wrong... »

« Don't. Even. Try. I know you're harming yourself. No need to hide that now. » Tone turning strict. This was a serious matter and Yasuo wanted to put some light on it. At least to mend what he could. But Yi made that difficult.

Yi watched him do a short time, conflicted emotions crossing his features. But Yasuo was focusing on something else, not paying attention to what the latter felt in this instant. Utterly exposed. He was searching for wounds that didn't exist, at least not over skin. Yi shaking got worse. Contact was getting horrible. Sensory overload. And Yasuo didn't know, too worried to look up from his task.

« That's not… what you think... » On the brink of shattering. « … I didn't cut myself or anything… I'm not allowed to. »

 _That's nonsense._ Yasuo lifted his gaze to meet Yi's but he wasn't ready to see so much pain. It seemed that when the other man was done crying, it would go again and again, giving everything.

He didn't understand at all. It was clear that Yi had already inflicted himself a harsh treatment but there was no visible proof of it. And now he said that he didn't do such think. _Another lie ?_ It seemed unlikely, yet the possibility was here. Yasuo would have to search further. Cold feeling in his chest, aching. Making sure Yi was always unharmed had nearly turned into an obsession, this time wasn't different.

So he kept looking. But all Yi could see was that Yasuo ignored him, didn't stop his actions. This was going over the limit, touch less than welcome under such tension. Cornered, searched, partially undressed. Now there wasn't even the craving for contact, gone. Yasuo was unaware of what he was imposing in this moment.

To the point of 'too much'. Frantic, Yi took his hands off him, pushing him away. « Stop that ! »

 _Huh ?_

The quick move was a surprise to Yasuo, not really expecting strength to be used. He tried to go back to what he was doing, thinking to be close to find the truth.

« Get away from me ! »

That was the last warning before he received a punch to the face. Straight one, strong enough to hurt. _Fuck !_ Yeah, that hurt a lot, even more his ego. It left Yasuo a bit stunned, both from the pain and the fact that Yi just struck him. Yi, who hated useless violence, who always found a way with words to prevent it. _Ah_.

Yi, now watching him with something close to aversion in his gaze. _No…_

Then he ran out of the room, turning his back to Yasuo.


	46. Chapter 46

_Oh gods, what a shit show_.

Yasuo was far too shocked to follow immediately the other man. He should have ran after him as soon as possible. Now Yi was gone. Because of him. It really frustrated Yasuo not to know what to say to appease, the right word at the right time, the right behaviour. He just made things worse. _I'm so stupid_. His jaw gave him a reminder of his failure, though the ache started to fade.

 _I have to follow him !_ At last moving from his frozen position, he ran to the door.

But he had little hope to find Yi. They never had the occasion to test it but without any doubt Yasuo would never be able to reach him, not if Yi wanted to escape. Still, he had to try. He would never give up without even making an attempt.

Fear crept up his mind, the possibility that he couldn't find Yi. Not even sure he would come back home, after what Yasuo did to him. Just disappear, like a ghost. _I can't lose him._

All this train of thought suddenly interrupted once he made it to the living room, more than surprised. In fact, Yi wasn't gone. He was still here, in the house, sitting against a wall near the terrace's door.

 _Ah ?_ Relief washed over him. _Oh dear gods, thank you_. In his panick, he didn't sensed that Yi wasn't far. _Good thing to have some powers if I can't use it in emergency. Arg_.

Though, Yasuo didn't move further. He knew Yi was here, that was more than enough. The least thing he expected considering the punch and all that but he was glad. _Relax, he's safe_.

Also, he didn't dare make another move toward Yi. He did enough damage already. But he couldn't go back to sleep, he was very anxious about his lover, his well being. He refused to let him alone. _Who knows what he could do ?_ He wasn't fond of doubting Yi, but after all he heard and saw, he had reasons.

So he settled down too, not far of the room's door. In the living room, each one at the opposite position of the other. Yasuo was resolute to wait, even though the need to sleep was present. He kept an eye on Yi. The latter was indeed back to the wall, knees to his chest, arms hugging himself. Very sad sight, so vulnerable, frail. He kept his face down, resting on his knees, hiding. Shoulders gently shaking, due to emotions or more crying. It was painful to see him like that. Yasuo just wanted to join him, pull him into a hug, comfort him. But the memory of the hit was very vivid. Maybe all Yi needed right now was some distance, without any risk. In that case, Yasuo respected that and would calm down his urge.

 _What to do ?_

Some time passed, possibly half an hour. None moved, Yasuo trying not to fall alseep as he gazed at his man. Yi wasn't in better shape, more and more tired, still trembling in this small bubble of peace. He couldn't relax, surely in constant pain or fear.

One time, he looked up in Yasuo's direction, just an instant. He came back to his previous stance when he met Yasuo's gaze. In that instant, he saw the same pain, a kind of cry for help. At least, that was how he perceived it. It awoke the same urge to reach for him, touch, embrace. _He needs help_. Yasuo was torn, unsure about the right thing to do. He couldn't afford to fail once more, make an error would be fatal to Yi's trust in him.

His stubborness won. Quietly Yasuo got to his feet and joined the other man. He sat back on the floor, still not in reach for Yi, to avoid any scare. An exit, in case he didn't want that.

Not yet a reaction from the latter. Yasuo chuffled closer, leaning a little, trying not to look like a threat.

Without a doubt Yi felt him approaching, could guess his intention but not a single move. Yasuo came to a stop once he was just in front of him, near enough to reach for him but that was a risk he wouldn't take. _So far so good_.

That was all he wanted to communicate to Yi, without words. He was here for him, wouldn't initiate anything, just waited till he was ready. He gave him the choice.

For a solid minute nothing happened. Yasuo didn't expect much, patience was important. But Yi lifted his head to face him again. Desperation, so raw in such beautiful eyes. Yasuo tried to smile, to give some courage, but it turned out more sad.

Yi reached for him, shy hand going to his, entwining. Then he caught Yasuo into a hug, clinging to him like he would drown without it. The sudden move caught him off guard but he relaxed right away, hurrying to reciprocate it as quick. _Yes…._ He sighed innerly, genuinely happy to have Yi back in his arms.

It wasn't a quiet embrace, Yi really went to hold him as strong as he could, restless. Gripping Yasuo's shoulders, back, need to stay close.

« I apologize. For what I did. Sorry, I should have been more careful. » Soft whisper, loud enough to be heard. Lips against his neck proved that Yi understood.

« Yasuo... » Small voice. Hearing his name murmured with such emotion made him shudder.

« Yes ? »

« You're right. It hurts... »

It took Yasuo a short time to understand that. _At last_. Yi acknowledged the pain. One improvement for tonight. His heart ached just by hearing that.

« I need something from you. » Still very quiet voice.

Yasuo almost missed it. « Of course, whatever you want. »

A deep breath was taken before Yi spoke again : « A distraction. From the pain. » His grasp tightened a bit. « I need you to take me. »

 _Oh. OH OK_. The simple ask got Yasuo blushing, just faintly. _He really wants ? In the middle of the night ?_

« Errrrrrm you sure ? I don't think it's a good idea. » In any other situation, he would have jumped on the occasion. Never say no to a good fuck. But now wasn't the right time. Yi wasn't really in his usual state, though very lucid but too unstable. Since they woke up there had been just crying, pent-up emotions, more crying and insecurities. Yasuo didn't want to risk hurting him more. Too much risk.

Also, there was nothing sexy in seeing Yi so afflicted. _I can't do that_.

« Please… It's too difficult to think of anything else but the pain. It doesn't go away… »

« That's not the right way. I don't want to hurt you. »

Desperation increased in his tone : « I need, really… To forget, just for a night… I beg you... »

His resolution broke. _Damnit_. There was something he could do, though he wasn't really convinced that would help Yi. But he would give it a try.

« Fine, I will see what I can do. But not here, come to bed. »

They moved to the room, Yi first with small hurry. He undressed with shaky moves and waited for Yasuo to join him in bed. He grabbed the lube and went to Yi's side.

« To make it clear, I will not fuck you. Not all the way. But I'll do as much as I can to satisfy you. »

Yi gave a sort of sob but nodded anyway, though it must cost him. So Yasuo got to work, lubing his hand. As he did, Yi lay down on the mattress. So vulnerable, for someone so strong. Yasuo's heart twisted a little at the sight so he bent to kiss him. It has been long since the last one, an eternity.

Just as Yi responded, he slipped a finger inside and so the kiss was broken by a gasp. It made Yasuo smile, despite the strange circonstances that brought him to help Yi in the middle of the night. _Gorgeous_. In another time, he would have fucked him senseless. But this time, nothing to stir his interest. It wouldn't be very healthy to do. Taking advantage of Yi, while at his lowest. That didn't mean he would refrain his ardour to comply and to please.

Slow thrusts at first, not to hurt Yi but seemingly he was more than eager. Now very hard, he was clutching at the sheets while Yasuo operated his magic. Two fingers and Yi melted little by little, soft moans rewarding his lover. By his side, Yasuo invited him to hold him, have more contact. In and out, gliding in slick warmth, he took his own satisfaction in feeling Yi so responsive. Yasuo saw him surrending to pleasure, allowing such intimate touch, relishing it even so. _So beautiful_ , despite the wreck.

A little deeper, crooking till he brushed his prostate and Yi's voice got a little higher.

« Feels good ? » Sweet tone, pleased by the sight.

« Y-Yes ! Oh please d-don't stop... » Breaking oh so slowly but not for the same reasons than before.

« Never. I've got you sunshine. » Another short kiss, just a taste.

Yi's eyes watered just afterward and for a second the latter panicked, fearing another breaking. But it was clear that nothing bad was happening. Just too much emotion and three fingers working inside him. Cock flushed red, wet with precum, standing at attention but unattended. Yasuo decided to change that and went to stroke him, earning at the occasion a choked groan and a fierce bucking into his grasp.

« Yasuo ! » Sweet call to his ears. Yi was losing himself, just as he asked the latter to.

Yasuo was glad to provide such pleasure, without a doubt he fulfilled very well his task. Ragged breathing, the end seemed near, just needed a little push. A fourth finger added to the others and Yi cried out from the stretch, coming messily all over Yasuo's hand.

« Yes, perfect. You're so good, did great. » Sweet-talking as Yi rode his climax was a reflex, praises could do so much good.

Relentless, Yasuo thrust in, till it was over. Then he took his hand to clean it off, with an unlucky clothing not far of the bed.

Wanting to do things well, he went to the bathroom, looking for a washcloth. Once he got it, he went back and cleaned up what he could, taking care of Yi. Under his touch, the latter was very pliant, relaxed, a good change compared to earlier. Yi made several small attempt at kissing him but he had a task at hand, that he would finish before anything.

Once it was done, Yasuo got the blanket to them, joining his lover's side. The crisis was over, for now. Yi came closer, till he was pressed to Yasuo's front. He sighed happily. No more trembling, just a soothing warmth between them.

It didn't mean the matter was over, the topic closed. They would have to talk about it later. Yasuo wasn't impatient to get to that, from the already exhausting case they got tonight. But it had to be done. He still didn't know what troubled Yi.

After all this, there is little improvement. But not nearly enough.

Yi fell asleep first, in his arms. Yasuo held him, hoping he would never go away.

 _Safe. For now_.


	47. Chapter 47

Morning came a little too fast for Yi.

Slowly waking up, memories came up too, the things said in the dark, the breaking, the distraction. Just thinking about the nightmare made him shudder. _Horrible_. Even now he could hear her voice. It was so painful, he casted his thoughts away as quick. A bit too late, it got a few tears in his eyes. Yi inhaled deeply, then exhale, to push away the feeling.

On instinct, he came closer to Yasuo. Easy to find him, he was sprawled on the mattress, an arm around Yi's waist in his sleep. Himself was half lying on his lover, head pillowed by Yasuo's chest. True happiness. Looking up, he checked if the latter was awake but no, he was the only one. Yasuo looked so peaceful in his sleep, nothing plaguing his rest. He wanted to kiss him, beautiful as he was. Need to reach, touch, the usual. But something kept Yi from doing so.

Gentle sadness, mixing with his unstoppable love for that demon. _So so perfect. I don't deserve him_. It wasn't some self-pity thought but more about all Yasuo had to witness and yet kept reaching for him. _He waited for me_. Fuzzy butterflies in his chest at the thought, but still bittersweet. _Last night Yasuo had done a lot for me_. It still ashamed Yi to have asked such thing, begged to be fucked. _No wonder why he didn't go all the way. That wasn't a reasonable choice_.

He gazed at his lover and the ache increased. Not the pain from the night but the sadness for being a burden. It took them sleep time. _Sweet Yasuo. Tired but still capable of waiting just for a hug_. It wasn't just a hug, when the opportunity was offered Yi took it desperately. It meant everything, as much as the 'help' provided afterward. _I shouldn't bother him that way. He was too kind to accept_.

What a spectacle it must have been. A lot of tears, a punch to the face, hands on each others. _This would never had happened if I did better_. Just one nightmare, a surrender to contact and Yasuo saw too much. That was why now he had a sort of shyness, reluctance to indulge in their intimacy. _If I get too emotional again I might definitely break_.

 _He needs rest_. Anf Yi needed to get away for now. It was too early but staying near Yasuo left this bittersweet taste about his own failure. The contact was good but not enough to calm down his agitation. _Let's take a shower, it will help_.

Yi felt a bit bad for the relief brought by the distance with Yasuo. When he was alone he could relax, still fearing another crisis. If it came too soon after this one, he wouldn't make it out without hurt. Indeed a hot shower helped a great deal, relaxing at last. Yi's thoughts didn't let him at peace though. _He knows a lot now. And will continue to ask_. All that Yi didn't want. It felt like opening again an old wound, just to put some salt. _It would do no good._ _Why does he care so much ?_ Yi just wanted to be with Yasuo, enjoy their time together. _No need to spoil it with useless questions_.

The decision was made, nothing changed, he would keep doing as usual. And endure silently.

Noon approached. Enough for some sunlight to illuminate the room and – unluckily – fall on Yasuo's face. Nothing better to wake up.

 _Fuck this shit, I hate this, we should have a fucking curtain._

He hid his face under one of his arms then could wake up properly. Then he notice the absence of a body to his side. _Again ?_ In shock he sat up on the bed and checked the room. _Please, don't tell me he ran away_. He just woke up and all he needed now was knowing Yi was safe. But he wasn't here. _Where is my man ?_ Remembering last night, he calmed down and focused on any presence nearby.

 _Here he is_. Fleeting aura in the house, another human being. Yasuo flopped back on the mattress. _Geez, almost had a heart attack_. This was a bit new to panick when he hadn't Yi by his side. Before there was maybe some craving but not to that point. Knowing the other man could be out there to hide from him hurt Yasuo. _We should have the talk_ , he sighed.

Going out of bed then heading to the door. He spotted Yi in the living room, sitting at the table to read a book. Nice sight, very quiet and serene. When he noticed Yasuo's presence he got up right on and joined him with as much joy than a puppy. _Cute_.

« Hello ! Doing fine ? » Warm tone, cheerful. The global mood was a happy one, a grin gracing Yi's face.

Knowing what happened during the night, the contrast was more than shocking. Nothing of the vulnerability showed, the wreckage, the tears. Instead, a smile full of love and eager contact. _Like nothing happened_. Yasuo gazed at him, something in him broke. It looked _fake_. _A kind of mask_. Sadness creeping up his mind, a cold snake nestled in his being.

When Yi went for a kiss, lips pressed to his, he didn't respond. Yi noticed that, the lack of response. He parted but this time the apparent joy was nuanced by something else. Realization. It hadn't been Yasuo's objective to seem blank, he was just a bit stunned by this sort of masquerade. Yi noticed and smiled, that sad smile when it hurted too much. Yasuo felt the latter's hand craddling his face, thumb brushing his jaw where he had been hit. _He remembers too_. Though it stung to see, Yasuo prefered it this way, when his lover didn't look like everything was fine in this world.

The second time he spoke up the tone was far less joyful, more resigned : « What's wrong ? » Though Yi sounded like he already knew.

« Why are you like this ? » Yasuo's question was just a whisper, loud enough to be understood. Slowly he circled Yi's waist, keeping him close.

« Like what ? I don't understand. » Tone slightly blank, nothing much to guess from it.

 _He plays oblivious_. Yasuo's heart bled a little. _An act_.

« Like things couldn't be better. You look happy but I know you're not. » Without a thought he tightened a bit his grasp.

« I am happy. Things can be tough sometime but I'm truly happy. Thanks to you. »

« Don't bullshit me. That's not helping at all. I was there this night, I saw what happened. You keep saying that everything is fine, you're happy and else but you fucking cried ! It happened only one time before and you refused to talk about that. » There was clearly anger in his voice but also a lot of distress.

Yi was still very calm but moved slightly to the defensive : « That's my choice. Leave it there. And about the night, yes I cried, I know, I was here too, it hurt. I'm sorry you had to see this, I promise it will not happen again. »

 _What the fuck. That's not the matter_.

« You say that like having a break down is just a triviality that shouldn't be seen. Like it doesn't matter that you suffer. »

« Because it doesn't matter ! It never mattered ! The pain is just a constant in my life, I don't even care anymore. »

« Liar. »

It resonnated in the room, a bit too loud and harsh. Yi made a face, looking hurt.

« Please Yi, I'm sorry to phrase it that way. That's a lie, you're more than bothered by that pain. Last night is a sufficient proof. I'm just asking you one thing. Just one. Please, let me help you. You trust me, no ? »

There was a sharp intake of breath from Yi, seeming caught off guard. Yasuo prefered him this way, when he actually showed genuine emotions.

« I trust you. But please don't ask me to speak about that, I don't want to involve you in my problems. »

Yasuo wanted to reply but the latter continued : « You know, that's not a lie. I'm happy, even though the pain becomes too much sometime, like this night. I cannot possibly hide how much I care about you, how good your presence feel. Consider that every kind of affection, touch is genuine, because it's true. »

Leaning closer, Yi had a really soft expression, that would make Yasuo's heart heal and melt at the same time. He pressed a kiss to his lips and this time it was returned, shy touch, full of passion. Yi parted but stayed at immediate proximity, mouth hovering near his.

« I love you. »


	48. Chapter 48

Saying the truth like that rarely felt this good. For a time Yi wondered how it would feel to be completely honest with his lover, to tell all there was to say. _But keeping the truth isn't lying, technically_. The dilemna was difficult. The memories of the night were more than sufficient to remind the pain that came if he opened up. _It would hurt too much_.

The pain from his past, he would endure it without a flinch. But that pain, from being stripped bare, vulnerable, it was one he wanted to prevent at any cost. Yi didn't mind being reminded his follies, it was truly wounding but he deserved it. Memory and hommage through emotional scars. Maybe it was the fact that another person witnessed his fall that hurt. For someone used to hide, it was the worst to be seen so low. Last night stung, burning shame still present in the back of his mind. _Broke down, weeped like a child, begged to be taken like… like a whore. Hurt him. I hurt him_. Yi wished he was stronger so this would never have happened. _So weak. I harmed Yasuo_. He never wanted that to happen.

 _Never again_. That was why he had to prevent another breaking and so avoid any questions. _Can't risk to hurt him_. Yi didn't know what was stronger, his instinct of self-preservation or the need to keep Yasuo unharmed. Better not test that.

 _Why can't I have a moment of peace ?_ The kiss they were sharing was one of the occasions closest to that peace he asked. Yasuo's persistent questions were starting to wear out his tranquility. Though he was well aware that the other man meant well by doing so, that he was worried. But Yi couldn't afford more pain.

His latest words seemed to calm Yasuo's worry down but he still felt that growing impatience to know more. It would stay quiet for a while before coming back harder. _Let's enjoy this time before it ends_.

Yi parted and the sight was very precious to his eyes, his lover not over the small declaration. The latter was blushing, soft pink to his cheek. It lit the need to kiss him again but he would keep that for later. Now it was time to pay back the favor.

With great gentleness he guided Yasuo to the room without any resistance from the man. The latter seemed a bit at loss, still under the spell of their kiss but sat on the bed when Yi gestured him to. Surely this return to bed was an understandable clue of what would come next. He joined Yasuo, leaning to catch him into another kiss, with a hint of bite. Yi finished on his lover's lap as hands wandered freely.

It was Yasuo who got out of the kiss, seeming very affected by all this : « Is there a reason for such- » He brought his hand down till it brushed Yi's clothed erection- « eagerness ? I'm not mad, please don't think I'm mad or anything ! I would be very honored and glad to be taken right now. » More he talked and more he sounded awkward though very aroused.

The whole situation made Yi laugh fondly. _He can be so cute without even meaning to_.

« Relax. I just want to repay you for this night's trouble. It hadn't been very mature from me to ask such a thing but you filled my request more than I would have asked. Now lie down and let me show you how grateful I am. » _And how sorry I am too_.

Yasuo was left speechless for a time, widening pupils directed to his man with a kind of disbelief.

So Yi put his words in action and got off the latter, pushing him a little so he would take the hint and lie back on the mattress. Though Yasuo didn't fully comply, supporting himself on a elbow to keep a curious eye on the other man's move. Yi went back then took off the latter's trousers and pants. He was very aware of the ardent gaze following each of his actions. _He's watching_. When Yasuo's cock was taken out of the restrictive clothing, he released a deep sigh, and a small groan at the close feeling.

Right at the moment Yi felt a bit nervous. _Chill, there is a first time to everything_. He settled down between Yasuo's spread legs, enough to be comfortable in his future task. Shy hand coming to stroke the hard shaft then taking more confidence. A choked moan resonated in the room as answer, Yasuo's hands coming to grip the sheets.

« Are you really doing this ? » He sounded so low and shaken that Yi could have not recognized his voice. _That deep voice_. Already he started to blush under the gaze of the man he was about to please.

Yi nodded, not trusting his voice to convey his thoughts. Then he got to work, giving a first long lick up Yasuo's cock. _Slow at first_. The latter's reaction was immediate, twitching lightly under that small teasing. Enough to take as a yes to continue. He received a louder noise when he took the head in his mouth, Yasuo's hand coming to rest next to his face instead. All this spurred Yi to take more. Sucking gently, he could taste the first sign of Yasuo's end. _So soon ?_

Above, the other man couldn't shut up, intimate warmth surrounding his member. A too harsh move and that would end too fast, he tried not to harm Yi. But in any case Yasuo was a slave to his own need, not able to stop the slow bucking of his hips. Hearing, feeling these reactions got Yi harder than he would imagine, eager to have more. He was really getting into it, the feeling of fullness. Going down on Yasuo became easier, a mix of lick and suck. Yi was ashamed of the sounds himself was making, in his desire to please. It turned messy, a bit of drool trailing down his chin but very worth from Yasuo's abandon.

« Yiiiiiiiiiiii…. » Breathing ragged, hands restless resisting the need to touch Yi.

 _He's losing himself. Because of me, of my body_. The feeling of being useful filled Yi's heart, as much as all the moans he could get from his lover. Blindly because he didn't dare to look up during this, he searched for Yasuo's hand then guided it to rest on the back of his head. _Can do it. Please_. He wouldn't offer this out loud, the blush intensifying. It seemed that Yasuo understood anyway, shyly coaxing his man to take more of him. The need became too strong. Soon enough it became difficult not to surrender to it, to fuck that welcoming mouth. But Yi's want to please made it even less bearable, till his lover bucked a bit too fiercely.

Yi managed to fight his gag reflex but still had to part to catch his breath.

« A-Ah shit I'm sorry…. t'was too good… sorry Yi... » His voice was like is current state, wrecked, too gone. In his desperate worry Yasuo's hand came to carress his lover's face, thumb over abused lips, hazy gaze. Their eyes met. _Oh. Devilishly pretty_. He wanted to kiss him so badly. Yi could tell how much his man was struggling to keep down his need but it made his defeat even more sweet. Yasuo was now fully lying back on the mattress, not even trying to keep a composure or semblance of control.

 _I want him to scream_. So he acted to reach that objective. Bracing himself, Yi took him to the root though it was straining, always to fight the reflex. Yasuo's reaction took the shape of a surprised moan, getting higher than before. The same taste came up, insistent. _He's close. I hope_. Yi repeated the move and it was more than enough. Yasuo spilled down his throat with a scream that could be heard outside.

 _Shit_. It was a lot more than Yi expected, some of the release staining his chin and cheek. He struggled to even his breathing through it but once Yasuo rode his climax to the end, he could relax. For a time there was only heavy breathing heard in the room, as Yasuo flopped, limp on the bed.

Yi sneaked an instant to the bathroom, to wash off the taste and clean up a little. In a flash he returned to Yasuo's side, who immediately pawed at him in need of contact.

« Woah baby that was super hot. » Yasuo sounded truly spoiled, all happy and pliant under the touch. He caught Yi into a fleeting kiss then parted with a boiling gaze to the man. « But now it's my turn. »

« Be merciful... » Yi was ready to melt to whatever he would be given, the chatest touch.

Yasuo had this gaze, ardent and passionate. _I would die for this. For him_.


	49. Chapter 49

_So so pretty !_

Yi looked like the happiest person in the world and it was contagious. If Yasuo could keep him that way forever, in this only state of joy, it would be the best. After such mind-blowing experience, he just wanted to give back that pleasure. He burned for it. To see Yi all pleased and spent. That looked perfect on him.

 _What could we do ? What could I do for him ?_

The sight was distracting Yasuo a little bit, clear lust in the other man's gaze with a start of impatience. He sat up on the mattress to face Yi as he got an idea. _I wonder if he would agree…_ Hungry eyes followed his moves with sharp attention. Tentatively, he brought a hand to Yi's crotch, pressing against the outline of his hard cock. _I want to see him wrecked._ As reaction the latter groaned, a shaky noise low in his throat. Almost missed but he grinded against Yasuo's hand before stopping. _He's really waiting_.

But Yasuo took off his hand, resulting in a disappointed noise from his lover.

« Yi ? Could you touch yourself ? »

A simple question but not as innocent as the tone used. Yi shot him a confused gaze, greatly marked by arousal nonetheless. _Would he… ?_ He was curious. The mere idea left Yasuo craving for more, alluring image in his mind. _Shit, already hard_. But he prefered to wait an answer, possibly give an exit.

« Maybe not ? I can find something else if you need. » Smooth tone, though with a hint of worry. There was no fun in bed if that wasn't shared. _Maybe that's too inappropriate. Though we already did worse than that_.

« I will do it ! » The latter blurted, gaze averted as a dark shade colored his face.

That was an enthusiast consent if he didn't hear one. Since he was still fully dressed, Yi next move was to get out of it, stripping in a unvoluntary show for his lover. Uncovered skin free to touch, to mark. _What a beauty_. Though Yasuo refused to indulge into the touch, a challenge he set himself. The idea of seeing Yi losing control by his own hand would make it up. No need to even deny the kick he got out of it.

Cock revealed, Yasuo couldn't help the low moan at the sight of an already wet patch, surely due to the previous intercourse. Yes, Yi was more than aroused but he still had some reservations when he stroked his cock. Yasuo could tell he was struggling to keep control.

Swiftly he caught Yi into a kiss, a lot of licking and just a hint of bite. Under that passionate exchange Yi let go a little, reciprocating as much as he could, leaning toward the man. Yasuo hummed happily into the kiss, feeling the slow but certain end. _Will not last long, I think~_

Thrusting into his grasp, Yi seemed less shy about the sounds he allowed though it wasn't yet loud enough.

« Yasuo… I know I already asked you much but could you do something for me ? Promise I won't make more requests after that. » For someone jerking off he still had some composure, even in his voice.

« I don't mind at all, just tell me what you need. I'm here for you sunshine. » In a way Yasuo felt a bit sad by advance, he would have prefered not getting directly involved. But what Yi wanted was law, he would be glad to serve in any case.

« Bite me. »

 _Oh. That's how it's gonna be_. That sent a vicious shiver of anticipation down Yasuo's spine.

« Got it. » Sounding almost unbothered but in fact Yasuo really ached for that. _Calm down, don't hurt him_.

In cheer excitation Yasuo climbed on the latter's lap to close the distance. Once settled, he teased a bit, mouth trailing down Yi bared neck, throat. The rumbling groan that slipped from the man told everything. _Holy shit ! Let's do it_.

Fangs sank easily into tender flesh. Just by that one action Yi bucked strongly under his lover, releasing a moan as loud as when they fucked. It sent blood lower, arousal coiling down Yasuo's groin. Willingly or not Yi's grasp over himself quickened suddenly, going frantic as precum slicked the glide more than necessary. He held Yasuo with one arm, clinging to him like his life depended of it. _He's doing it !_ Being embraced with such abandon felt like heaven, truly heartwarming.

Yasuo sealed that first bite then moved for a second one, a bit higher. The reaction was equally spectacular, Yi stiffening a little more, bucking wildy though the solid body on his lap didn't left much room to move. _Oh gods the sounds._ By now his lover could just chase his climax, far too gone to care about decency. A soft litany of moans, so desperate, so needy, it only made Yasuo more aroused. As they were now, nothing could stop him from grinding furiously against Yi's thigh, small relief.

Then he went to drink some blood, the heady taste invading his mouth. Yasuo would have let out an outrageous groan if he was able to. But the best came from Yi, gripping him so hard, red marks were to be expected.

« Yasuo- ! » His voice cracked in the most beautiful way. « I-I can't- ! »

A little more blood drained and Yi spasmed before orgasm shook him. His back arched so nicely, pressing against Yasuo while he rode his climax in sharp thrusts. The cry was so good to Yasuo's ear, he regretted not being able to watch his lover cum. In fact, he was busy with his own pleasure, release found in that mess of grinding and clinging. Yasuo didn't see that coming so soon, vision going white for an instant while his semence joined Yi's between their bodies. _Holy fucking shit that was fast_. He rested his head on Yi's shoulder, trying to catch on the last events. How they were both able to stay upright was a mystery, exhaustion ready to put them down in a few instants. Yasuo still made an effort to look at the latter, as their breathing evened.

Yi's face was so flushed, a rare sight of debauchery, plus their release making a mess of his hand and lower regions. As in a haze he gazed at Yasuo with a contented smile. It left the other man very impressed to have Yi so pleased and satisfied, knowing he came by his own hand and Yasuo's 'help'.

Without a doubt there was something in Yasuo's way to eye up his man, since Yi grew ashamed and casted his gaze down.

« Don't stare at me like that. »

« How could I do otherwise ? You look like a work of art. » Sweet words purred lowly. « I must confess, I didn't know you could come from a few bites. I would say that's not very vanilla, for a man so gentle~ »

« Say the man who came just from the taste of my blood and sounds. Who's the deviant now ? »

« I didn't mean to offeeeeeeeeeeeeeense ! To be honest, I loved each second of it, we should do that again. » In this rush of fear he hugged Yi, though it was indeed some bluff.

The embrace sent both back to the mattress, relaxing in the contact.

« … If you want too, I'd like that. » As to hide his embarassment, Yi dived for a kiss, enough to surprise softly his lover.

Yasuo surrended to the intimate reaching. It kept amazing him how a touch as simple as that could bring him peace.


	50. Chapter 50

A closed door. This was how Yasuo saw their last discussion. The topic was over and now it would be extremely difficult to bring it back and have answers.

That same day he kept trying to ask Yi about what tormented his nights, the constant pain as he told before. But each time, no matter what, the latter dodged the topic. Not even in a dismissive, harsh way, Yi gently asked him not to mention that again. Yasuo couldn't refuse, it seemed so painful for his lover just to think about it.

 _I understand it's hard but I think it will not get better without talking_. This was a complicated question, to say the least. Seeing Yi everyday while being aware he suffered in silence or having a painful long talk. Cruel, because in any case Yasuo wanted to avoid hurting the man.

At some point he came to think that Yi did it on purpose, their intercourses and heated embraces to distract him from the real matter. Yasuo hated doubting like that, thinking that possibly there was some manipulation. Not because it meant he was very predictable. It wounded him to be so little trusted. That affection could be potentially used against him. _Don't think like that, Yi wouldn't do this_.

At night, once they got to bed, there was nothing he could do to fall asleep, mind restless. Yi was at his side, familiar warmth hugging him in his rest, snuggled up to him in the most precious manner. It squeezed Yasuo's heart to see his lover so peaceful, but still preyed on in his sleep. If Yi admitted that the pain took part in each day of his life, no wonder what it did at night. _Last time he had a nightmare he looked so hurt. Ready to kill_. The memory felt cold in the back of his mind. _Wait… Maybe last night was also because of a nightmare too_. It wouldn't make sense that Yi got up in the middle of the night for no reason.

Yasuo felt even more powerless about all this, embrace slightly tightened around his man. He was well aware of the terror of being chased in one's dreams. Fear could take many shapes, slave to the imagination of the subconcious. _Captive of our own mind_. Yasuo hated nightmares, it left him trembling, vulnerable.

The same thought haunted him since it was stated. _Yi hurt himself. And after that denied it_. It was really overwhelming to know his so kind and quiet lover went to such extreme. A reminder that life was fragile, easily broken. _I saw nothing_. _I found nothing_. Another reason to press the topic, if that could stop Yi from doing more damage to himself. _But he refuses to talk. Arg….._

Yasuo almost came to hope that another nightmare would get things moving. _No, that's bad to think_. Last night sure was very stressful and exhausting for Yi, it helped a little but wasn't worth at all. _He even went to use violence_.

Yasuo sighed. This was getting him nowhere. The opportunity was gone and he was running out of ideas. Asking several time wasn't efficient at all, it only seemed to make Yi even more tired. _Then what ? Let this pass ? Do nothing ?_ It didn't feel right. This was a hell of a situation, truly stuck.

 _If only there was a solution…_

Other thing, Yasuo wondered what the other man hid to him, what he refused to tell. _Too sensitive subject, must be about what happened to the village_. It left him puzzled, he thought he knew already everything there had to know. _He already told me Noxus destroyed the village. What else happened ? Why didn't he tell me ?_ Another thing to lose his mind on, answers would not fall from the sky.

At last he fell asleep after a quite long time, keeping Yi close as if to protect him in his sleep.

Days followed and nothing of the sort happened again. Back to normal, or it could seem like that. Yasuo said nothing, having abandonned the useless need to ask. But it still hurt to see Yi so happy, doing like life was perfect. Nothing had changed but everything was different. This lack of communication on only one topic started to be felt in their relationship. Just one thing kept under silence and all that was said and given could be a lie. In the worst case. Yasuo prefered to believe in Yi, trust his words. Even though he was aware the man would lie to keep his secrets.

The situation wasn't so bad, the fresh love still present and exchanged at the smallest occasion. Yasuo kept reminding himself. _The way I see him is the way he wants me to see him. What he allows himself to show_. Bittersweet, to say the least. The man responded to each of their kisses, initiated some as well but it could be just a facade. _Remember, he said that he meant every little affection given_. Never he wanted to trust Yi so much.

As expected from the other man, not a single word on the topic unless Yasuo asked. And even after that Yi would put it down. In these occasion Yasuo felt the genuine pain in his voice when he asked him not to talk about that. So from this day he stopped asking.

Sex didn't change neither. Somehow it was the most heartfelt display of love. In their times of union, just a few emotions could be expressed but it made it even more genuine and true. Sweet embarrassment, short impatience, bliss. _Body cannot lie, as we say._ It was the only time Yasuo liked seeing his lover cry, because it was for a good reason. Maybe it was enough to make Yi forget his pain. Yasuo was glad to help, provide something else to focus on.

The idea of bringing the deadly subject when they were in bed crossed his mind. Once. But without a doubt that would just mean the end of any potential sexy time so Yasuo didn't go further with that.

 _I doooooooooon't knoooooooooooow….._

Life would be so peaceful and happy if there wasn't this phantom ache looming near. Yi's pain was his, unless the latter didn't tell him about it. So there was no possibility to heal it.

Till it happened another night. When Yasuo expected it the least.

While they were both asleep, Yasuo pressed to his lover's side, limbs tangled together in a comfy mess, something woke him up.

Since he was practically half sleeping on Yi, he fully felt the struggle in the embrace. It was the latter who moved in his sleep, like restless, trapped. At first Yasuo thought the man was awake too, that he was just trying to get out of bed for some reason. But no, just a frantic clinging.

The urgence displayed in Yi's sleep alerted him.

 _What's happening ? Nightmare ?_

Immediately Yasuo grew concerned, watching over his lover to confirm his thought. Breath coming shorter, like in distress, Yi's grasp on the latter got harder, to the point of hurting. _Fuck. Must wake him up_.

A hand to Yi's face while the other shook his shoulder, light at first then becoming more urgent when it seemed inefficient.

« Yi, wake up ! »

It broke Yasuo's heart to hear his name whimpered, so helpless. Hovering near, full attention to his lover lost in that nightly torture, he redoubled his efforts.

To his relief Yi woke up in a gasp, wild gaze searching in the dark, anything, a light. It fell on Yasuo's and never left as it filled with dread.

« Hey ! Don't worry, everything is fine ! It was just a nightmare. » Gentle voice to soothe his lover.

But the panick didn't stop here. Yi was awake but nothing seemed to calm him down. Even worse, his breathing was so short and hurried, almost a hiss. Chest heaving at a frightening rhythm. _Shit shit shit_. _Hyperventilation_. Yasuo didn't know what to do.

He held Yi's face to help him focus, a lot of endearments that sounded a bit too stressed to his taste.

That didn't work. At all. In an impressive reflex, Yi pushed him away, moving in the opposite direction at the same time. So they ended up like that, Yasuo very confused on the bed, Yi back to a wall of the room looking nothing like relaxed. He was far too stunned by this move that nothing came up in his mind.

Silence occupied the room, except for the harsh breathing that didn't seem to calm down. Yasuo was stared at like he just tried to kill his lover, apprehension and fear directed to him.

 _I just wanted to help.… Why I am so bad at being gentle ?_


	51. Chapter 51

Fog. A kind he never saw before, very heavy, not the … usual color. Corruption. It smelled like hell, rotten flesh. A cold feeling settled in his being. Just as he stepped into the village.

Bodies. On the ground. Reality fell on him. No doubt possible about the situation. Not after all he saw during the war.

 _Noxus_.

Sick. Of this sight, the smell, the unbearable thought plaguing his mind. He ran to the closest body, make sure it was real. Not his imagination that could make such horror.

 _Dead._

He knew that person. He knew everyone in the village. Dead. Shock made him stay back as quick.

Air impossible to breathe. Nausea came up, persistent from such poor spectacle. He trembled despite himself, fear too strong to keep down.

Sudden thought. He ran, to his home. Even though the fog made it more difficult. A panicked gasp when he almost tripped over something. Another body. Wide gaze looking down. He repressed the need to scream.

But he had somewhere to go. Fast. Make sure.

 _Please._

The house. Their house. He opened the door, searching. Gaze fell on another person, in the room. On the floor. Lifeless. _Father…_ Down to his knees, agony shredding his soul. He struggled to breathe, the ambient sickness creeping in everything.

Blur. Tears in his eyes. And so much pain in his heart.

Imagine. Coming back to a dead home. To find one's parents slayed. Cruel, wasn't it ?

Nothing. Just darkness.

Her voice, piercing cold in his ears though she wasn't even screaming. A murmur.

He couldn't see, couldn't move, nothing made sense, just paralysed. Just her voice, all that he could hear. Hopefully he couldn't see her. If he tried enough, he would be able to visualise her form, beauty forever stuck in time. Or a twisted vision, corrupted, moving body lacking the spark of life.

She haunted him. Talking about death, massacres, all the blood staining his hands.

Voice too soft, too sweet as she reminded him his faults. Everyone was dead, because of him. She was dead, because of him. His father was dead, because of him.

Never forget.

Slowly something went around his neck, chilly. Hands, without a doubt. Choking the air out of him. Till he thought he would die. Not even possible to let out a final cry.

Everything was black, darkness was all he deserved.

Chains. Keeping him from leaving. _From what ?_

Two heavy chains, one per ankle. The point of attach too far to be seen. Vision blurred. As if in the fog.

 _The fog…_

Bad memory, strangling him a little. Or maybe it was the foul air. He hated it. Too heavy to be breathed. Unhealthy.

A figure, just in front of him. Alive. He didn't know why it surprised him. The person came closer, enough to make out their features. Scar. That was the first thing he noticed.

 _Yasuo…_ Dearest, beloved Yasuo. For a few seconds fuzzy joy lit his soul, feelings always brought by the sight of that man. But happiness turned to ice when he tried to reach for him.

 _I can't. I can't !_

Impossible to move. Limbs numb, not a chance. He didn't understand, captive of his own body, mind. He just wanted to reach, touch his lover, keep contact. Couldn't. Incredulous gaze, fear creeping up. No sound, no move, just his sight.

Yasuo had a strange expression, like remorseful and torn. The ronin turned away and left.

The increasing distance put between them made him want to cry.

 _Don't go !_

Frozen. He could only see the other man go. Tears filled his vision. Felt like dying, choking on the corrupted air. _Poison_. Sharp taste filling his mouth, blood. Everything hurt, his heart, his lungs, his mind.

Wished to run. Would do anything for that.

Too late.

All disappeared from his sight. Or maybe he just went blind. In any case, he panicked, struggling to breathe.

 _« Don't die now, we would never forgive you. »_

Wake up.

Eyes blinking open, startled, Yi immediately looked for his surrounding. All the emotions assaulting him previously turned his breath into a gasp, too trembling.

Right after his gaze met Yasuo's, just above him. The darkness of the night only made the latter's glowing eyes stand out, frighteningly. Innerly Yi recognised him but was far too overwhelmed to block the scare given. After all his mind had to take, panick was the only solution found by his body.

Even more since the feeling of missing breath never left him. Painful struggle, distance too short, hands craddling his face while he couldn't bear such touch. Suffocating.

Push him off. Get away from him. Stay back. Hide. It was very exhausting, painful to breathe that way, body instinctively trying to get more air but it made things worse. Yi feared it would never stop, would never calm down.

Back to the wall, lungs emptied as soon as air came in, he kept an eye on Yasuo. Hoped he wouldn't reach for him again, at least not soon. _It hurts…_

He knew, he knew it wasn't true what he saw, that nightmares always played on one's deepest fears. But each time it struck too hard, right where it wasn't fully healed.

The only positive thing was Yasuo not daring to come closer. Illusion of peace maybe but a small comfort. _No touch. Too much pain_.

Still the same sound in the room, breath whistling in a too worrying way. Yi was too distressed for this crap. Like it would kill him, choking slowly but with certainty. No time yet to think about the last torments his nightmare inflicted, right now all that mattered was to stay alive.

But he was mistaken. Yasuo did try to do something, join him. Not in a too invasive way, he just sat by his side in calm. He was about to reach for Yi with a shy hand when the latter decided it was far over the limit.

Yi slapped away the hand meaning to reassure him. _No touch !_ Not even wanting to be harsh or anything. This was self defense measure, his instinct fighting to keep enough space to breathe. And so Yasuo was a threat. Yi moved away, in the opposite direction till he deemed the distance respectable.

Clearly the other man got the message. Had Yi looked over just an instant, he would have seen Yasuo's stance, both hurt and shocked. Well maybe not, too dark in there. But indeed he was left by himself, unbothered.

In the dark, on his knees, clutching himself in an attempt at calming down. Lack of oxygene blurring his thoughts, Yi hoped it would end, a way or another. He sobbed.


	52. Chapter 52

_Awful_. There was nothing he could do. The slap had been more than efficient to keep him far. Yi was a crisis but he could do nothing except staying back. This time was really new, due to a nightmare but more in a sense of a panick attack. _It's not even that he doesn't want to talk. He can't talk_. The night's stress had been so bad, Yi's body found some extreme solution to cope and fight back the pain. It would seem.

So so concerned. It was clear Yi was suffering, exhausted by the nightmare and not even able to recover from it. Yasuo felt panick taking control of his thoughts, too worried about the heavy breathing. Only noise in the room and yet very loud, making it scary.

 _Powerless. Useless_. If he came closer, Yasuo would receive another hit, stronger without a doubt. The first was a warning, it hurt enough. Needless to say, had Yi struck him to the face like the other time, it would have broken his heart a little more. _Don't think too much about that, surely he didn't mean it_.

Reaching for Yi was a strong no. Never again. Yasuo kept his hands to himself, watching the other man struggle to breathe. _Horrible…_ Just like the global situation of their relationship, more urgent right now. Nothing to do, no solution, no immediate relief. Sobs started to mix with the whistling breathing, something so close to a cry for help unvoiced. Yasuo hated himself for being so passive, though that was the only thing he could do, by default.

In a last hope he threw the blanket near Yi, maybe that would appease him better than the presence of a person. Yasuo almost cried of relief to see the latter tentatively reach for the blanket, shaky hand blindly grabbing. Then he yanked it completely to him, covering himself, a small hiding in familiar fabric. He watched Yi curling up in the blanket, though the man's state didn't change much. _That's still some help. Glad he accepted it_.

For now Yasuo waited, see how this would go as time passed. _Please, don't get worse_. If it happened to endanger Yi's life, there would be little to do. He prayed for the opposite, some calming. Not sure if his heart could take more worry.

It came very slowly but there was some improvement. Yi's breathing was no longer in the form of a hiss, gradually evening to something normal. Face resting to his knees, in a cocoon, it seemed to have worked.

 _But I shouldn't try to touch him. This is not over_.

So the return to silence was really welcome, a good news. So calm that Yasuo almost had to make an effort to hear the latter's breathing. _The worst is done_.

He remained to his spot on the bed, still very cautious about his next move and what he might cause if not careful. _Maybe like last time, go hug him but slowly_.

« Yi ? Are you alright ? » Yasuo prefered to ask, that was a first step.

The reaction wasn't the one he expected, though he didn't really expect much. Just when he spoke, Yi lifted his face, startled, surprised gaze directed to the source of the noise. There was chances that Yasuo was completely forgotten before he broke the silence. _Too caught up to sense a presence nearby ?_ From the waking to the panick, it could be more than likely, mind busy and body strained.

« Yes. » Then Yi returned to his initial position, face lowered to the blanket.

The answer was a little late, compared from the time Yasuo asked. Not too long but enough to be pointed out. For him it just seemed that Yi was looking for a proper answer, though it didn't sound very convincing. _A honest reply would be instantaneous_.

« It doesn't look so. Do you need help ? » Maybe too much worry poured in his tone, he couldn't help that.

« I'm. Fine. » With that Yi sounded increasingly annoyed, angry but in a sensitive turn. Raw. Like someone deeply injured trying to cover the wound.

Anger to hide vulnerability, give a focus on something else. Yasuo could discern it but the harsh tone was one good way to keep him cold. _Okay. Wrong thing to do_. But that still could be the right way. Maybe he had to push Yi a little so he would allow contact, words, anything. _Arg. How do I help someone to open up ?_

« You're not. Talk to me, please. » He truly hoped he was doing something good, getting up to come closer to Yi.

Yasuo had some hope that the man wouldn't budge because of this reduced distance since they weren't touching. Sitting near, it hurt him to see Yi gazing back at him with clear emotions on his face. Pain and fear, what he saw too much in his features these days. As soon as Yasuo came in his area, the latter instinctively went to keep some distance, back pressed to the wall. A self-preservation measure.

He abandoned the mere need to reach for Yi.

Raising his hands to be seen, he spoke : « No touch. I get it. But let me stay with you. Talking will help you, I'm sure. »

For now, it didn't show much improvement. At least Yi was still here, wide gaze kept on the other man but no move to leave. It seemed that he relaxed a little bit, though very tense in any case, body ready to jump at the slightest threat. _That's good. Keep going_.

« Yi ? » Yasuo called, waiting for any sign of acknowledge. It came, a shy nod, almost missed. « What happened ? In your nightmare. »

« No ! » Panicked shout, stark contrast to the previous shuddering calm.

Before Yasuo could even do something, the other man stood up in one reflex move. Hurried steps to the door, a last stop before Yi could disappear of his sight. The move had been very impressive, fluid, in a flash. That was something the latter used rarely, most of it during fights. A quick escape this time.

Yasuo just could see him at the door, ready to run.

Same vulnerability in Yi's eyes : « Don't follow me. » Last words before he vanished of the room.


	53. Chapter 53

_Run_

Not a big deal, that was his biggest strenght. Swift and true during battle. Now it was used to flee, get as much distance as possible between him and Yasuo. His body protested against this unwanted effort, the time to recover from the night hadn't been enough. If he pushed himself too much, he would fall without a doubt. The urgence was to get as far as possible before it could happen.

The burn in his lungs was decreased but still present, reminder of the previous panick. Too difficult to breathe, too much stress.

For now Yi was running, fast but at the risk of complete exhaustions once he came to a stop. Or maybe it would be the reason of the stop. No idea why he was running. Well yes, he knew, his body knew. Flee to protect himself but no idea how it helped him. He would take time to focus on reasons, explanations when he would be safe at last. Yasuo was the threat, fear deeply rooted in him. Not against the man but his instinct knew no good would happen if he stayed near him.

Feelings shut down for a moment. Preservation was the priority, questionning whether Yasuo was right or no would put him at risk.

 _Run_

That he could do. Till he was somewhere safe. _Safe ?_ His home was safe, Yasuo too. Usually. But not now. _Don't think_. Instead he focused on every senses, the pain, exhaustion. Anchor to reality, proof that he was alive, unlike what the nightmare left to guess.

Yi found a place. Calming noise, soothing. He hoped it was far enough.

 _Should I follow ?_

Yi was gone and he was left alone – again – in the room, in the middle of the night.

 _He said not to follow. What can I do ? What can I do ? I DON'T KNOW._

Time was fleeing too, seconds then minutes passing without a decision made. _It was an order. He's scared. I can't hurt him more_. But also the need to ensure his lover's safety, well being was strong. _Outside. Alone. Not safe !_

The warning had already been given, next time Yasuo would try something the answer could potentially get worse. _Now he's too open. An occasion to talk, not the best but it has to be done_.

 _I must find him_. But if he did, what would Yi do ? _Use violence ?_ The latter asked some distance and running to find him would break that demand.

Urgence. More time passed, meaning that Yi could had potentially gone very far. _Where could he be ?_ The cemetery came as soon to his mind. _That was where he confessed to go before_.

Though it hurt to go against Yi's words, he stood and went out in the night. Heart heavy and worried, he made his way to the cemetery.

It was as dead as he saw it the first time, no living soul around. _Shit, no here_. Tombs one after the other, even creepier at night. _No mean to disrespect but I hate this place_. No reasons to stay at all, Yasuo left after a last inspection of the area.

 _Fuck, no idea where he could be_. So the plan was basically running through the village, gardens searching for the smallest clue. Yasuo was supposed to have an advantage at chasing in night time but against someone familiar of this place, no chance. The feeling of solitude came back with the fear of never finding Yi. _Still a possibility. Then what ?_ He would have to hope for a late return, maybe in the morning. Sadness invaded him. Alone, like the monster he was.

What a surprise it was to sense Yi's presence near. And again it was not far of the waterfall. _Damnit, forgot about it_. Sweet relief, not to be alone, to have another human around. _The waterfall ? What the fuck could he do here ?_ There was no really sense in going here after a crisis. _Or maybe yes ?_

Very carefully, Yasuo stepped closer in the same deafening noise of water falling down, expecting the other man to be at the carved rock under it. Indeed Yi was there. _See, he's safe_.

The general mood was different. The last time Yasuo tumbled here, the man was busy, deep in meditation. But it wasn't the same.

Yi was here, right in the latter's sight, under the waterfall. Just there, doing nothing or it would seem. Not in that particular sitting to meditate. Coming closer, Yasuo could see his expression. None. Very calm, open eyes staring down at the pond. The occasional blink was the only proof of life beside the blood running through him that could only be sensed by the demon.

Yi was here, alive but not in a visible way. He wanted to reach for the man. Latest memories stopped him from doing so. _Risk to hurt him_.

This didn't seem good. If Yi wanted to have some peace, he would have run away as soon as he arrived at the glaze. _Maybe he can't sense me_. A proper shut down, to register events, heal, fight back the nightmare. It could be that. In a way it terrified Yasuo, his lover was here, physically but not truly. Mind gone else where.

 _He's going to get sick !_ At that time of the night, no wonder how cold the water was. Even for someone used to it, that temperature could be dangerous.

Coming closer, till he was at the pond, there was no reaction from Yi. Nothing would happen by miracle, he was aware.

Looking at the dark water, a shiver took Yasuo. _Oh fuck please_. This was a sacrifice he was ready to make but surely he would groan about it for a week. _Come on, in one go_.

Fall in the water and without preamble cold pierced his skin, unforgiving needles of ice aiming at his being. _HOLY SHIT THIS IS HELL_. If it had been for Yi, he would be going back to land as quick. Yasuo focused on this mission, his man at risk to prevent himself from surrending. This was pure torture, cold numbing his members, he had to be fast or this would be fatal.

Yasuo made it to the rock and without waiting reached for the man. As he feared, there was no reaction from Yi even when he was so close to him. In a hurry, he lifted the latter's face a little so their gazes could meet and there was the smallest hint of recognition in it. Yi saw him, no doubt about it but no flight attempt, no move, nothing. _He must be freezing_. The fall of water soaked Yasuo entirely, another test to his determination. _Gotta move !_

There was still some hopes in the way Yi complied when coaxed to follow, not fighting the grasp pulling him out of this cold prison. Yasuo embraced him, taking both of them to dry land though the dark mass of water. _Geez come on it's almost over_.

They made it in one piece, Yasuo more than glad to have this over. _NEVER. AGAIN_. Nature wasn't so nice, the light breeze made the contact of damp clothing feel like death touched him personally. In his arms, Yi was quiet, responsive but at minimum level, just basic functions. Some color came back to his face, warm spark in his eyes when Yasuo successfully met his gaze. Overall the cold had just made him numb, shutting down temporarly any senses. But he was getting back. Still, Yasuo feared what the man would do once back to himself, if the crisis was over or not. _He's calm for now. Good_.

The walk back home was quiet to say the least, Yi leaning against the latter during the whole thing but no words. Both were really cold after such a bath but Yasuo got nervous feeling the other man shiver in their short distance. It was urgent to get warm.

This was very peculiar, new to have Yi so close and yet so blank, letting nothing pass in his moves and expression. Before he had this habit to mask any unwanted reaction but there was always a gentle façade not to worry Yasuo. Right now, he wasn't even trying to pretend things were alright. Just blocking everything. Yasuo hated it. To see his man so affectionate in their daily life, reduced to insensitivity. _Where is my sunshine ?_ He wasn't really aware of how minds worked, maybe that was a way to calm down after the nightmare. The contrast with the hyperventilation crisis at the waking was shocking.

Yi followed him in the house, quiet steps. At least he knew the man was still here, concious, hadn't run away.

« Go take a shower. You need to get warm. » Soft words despite himself , he wasn't sure how he should act around Yi, what he needed. Yasuo was afraid of making another bad move, too nervous.

A small nod answered him then the latter went to the bathroom in silence. The door wasn't fully shut, slighty ajar and for an instant Yasuo wondered if he could join too. _Nah. Better let him have some peace_. He was seriously reconsidering their boundaries, after the several hit and slaps given, there was something to take from it. _I guess I'm getting too cuddly_.

He sighed, unsure about how to react. He had some responsibility in this mess, for trying too much to help but resulting in pain.

In wait for the other man, Yasuo went to the room looking for towels and changed his trousers. _There, good now_. Being dry was some comfort, for sure.

After putting his damp clothes to dry, he had some time to think, just the noise of the shower filling the house. The problem was far from over, very touchy. _I don't know what to do_. What happened at the waking wasn't the same kind of breaking than the other time, it was different. No tears but the panick due to the nightmare was almost worse. _Can't he just tell me what's the matter ?_ _Talking helps_. He knew that, it had been effective in his case. But somehow Yi refused, pretending that it was nothing worth the fuss. _He doesn't want help but he needs it. It will destroy him one day_.

But going against Yi's desire and order was horrible. One good thing was that the man was quite calm for now, nothing of the latest distress and fear. Or it was hidden.

Eventually the water stopped running, announcing the end of the shower. Yasuo stood and made a bee line to the bathroom, opening enough to door to hand two towels. Strange, how this time he prefered not to let his gaze linger on the naked silhouette of his lover, when he would have gladly taken an eyeful under other times. Minimum interaction, to prevent anything bad from happening. _Tho he's still hot_. The slightest shade of pink came to his cheeks.

« Here, take. Feel better ? »

« Yes. » Words so quiet, a whisper barely audible. Just as he took the towels and wrapped it around him in a warm cocoon.

« Come. »

Yi followed him in the living room, sat down as gestured to while the latter joined him. Facing the other man, Yasuo took the other towel to dry his hair, an excuse to have some contact. A twinge of sadness squeezed his heart at the sight, yes he was glad Yi was still by his side but seeing him so out of character felt wrong, inhibited. An affectionate urge came up, wanting to hug him tight, bring back a smile to his face, make him laugh. The burn of the previous violence kept him from doing so, Yasuo could just stroke gently the latter's head through the towel. Funny how even in such situation he found Yi cute, from the situation under towels like a kid. _Would love to warm his heart as well_.

He wasn't over yet the fact Yi had just ran to the waterfall to get soaked. _This isn't healthy at all_.

« Never do that again. Please. » Yasuo hoped that this was clear enough but had some doubts the man would give up going there.

« I'm free to do whatever I want, this is my house. Plus, I asked you not to follow. » What a surprise to hear this new tone, the blankness turning to anger. _Shit, he's mad ?_ Anyway, Yi clutched at the towel around him, a vulnerable gesture.

« I know but fuck, it's nightime, I can't remain calm when you're alone outside. Also, you could have got sick, the waterfall is some ice hell, really. »

« I don't care. » He sounded plainly annoyed, something Yasuo wasn't expecting after the panick. _What's going on ?_

« But I do ! I don't want you to die from some illness. » Oh sweet worry bleeding in his tone.

« I will not die, not like this. Why don't you mind your own business ? »

« I don't know ? Maybe because you woke us up in the middle of the night because of a nightmare ? » This was getting a bit tiring, not seeing where this was going.

« It's not my fault ! You think I asked for this ? Let me be ! » Yes Yi was angry. A way to hide sadness, pain but little Yasuo knew about it. Easy to switch to anger, annoyance when pain was taking too much, threatening to break and spill. Don't feel, hide.

« You can tell me. I'm here, just asking you to tell me what bother you. »

« I'm telling you nothing ! Stop asking. »

« No no no, that's not right. You're suffering, I know it, don't even try to deny that. Why not tell, share your problems ? »

« Because this is not important ! It's done, it's past and there is nothing we can do about it. Just leave it ! »

Hearing Yi so angry against him was painful, far too aware he was hurting the other man. _Please, we have to get this done_. Part of Yasuo just wanted to back off and go to bed, cuddle with his man. But the matter would never be solved.

« Must not be past if you still dream about it. What is it about ? The war ? The village ? »

As soon as he mentionned it, Yi stance turned even more defensive, hurt gaze staring back at him, quick to be replaced by anger. « You… You know nothing about it. »

« That's why I ask ! Please tell me, you'll never stop hurting yourself until we do something. »

« Because I deserve this pain ! »

There was a pause, Yi catching his breath, a sound too close to a sob just after that sentence. It hurt deeply Yasuo. To know Yi had no problem inflicting himself such suffering. How could someone believe they deserved torment ? Yasuo felt this way too, could just relate so much. _No, he's still a good person. He doesn't have to be punished for killing during the war_.

« No you don't. » A hug would do great then but Yasuo still refused further contact. « I don't know who ever told you this but you don't deserve to suffer. You're a good, kind person. »

« I AM NOT GOOD. » The outburst surprised Yasuo. Yi rose a little, shaky hands grasping the latter's shoulders in a rush of desperation. « I KILLED ALL THE VILLAGE. » Sentence that hit like a another punch to the face.

« I don't understa- »

« Of course you don't ! You weren't here ! How could you know ? See the village ? They're all dead because of me ! It's my fault ! » This was far too fucked up for Yasuo to react, just shocked while the other man clung to him with an iron grasp. « How could you possibly understand ? To have the blood of an entire village on your hands. The blood of your master. The blood of your own family ! You can't imagine ! The burden, she's always screaming at me about the massacre. It never stops… »

Little by little Yi was losing his breath in this long cry, tears in his eyes as fury was unleashed to the latter's face. If it was twisting before, now Yasuo's heart was basically shattered.

« I do. » Quiet words, contrast compared to the latest stream of sadness.

« You do what ? » Still this kind of distress in Yi's tone, too shaken by repressed emotions. This was a lot more than Yasuo had ever heard from him.

« I understand. How it feels like to have family's blood on your hands. » He wasn't proud of it, far from it. It still stung to remember his deeds. But right now it was a shared feeling then, something in common. Yi would never lie, not on such deep subject.

For a short time the latter just stared at him, wide gaze directed to Yasuo's, disbelieving. « Ah- » He took his hands off the man in one second, a quick reflex and immediately after brought it to cover his mouth. The latter saw in real time the first tears rolling down his cheeks, eyes watering as it filled with grief, shock. « Ah….. » One sob, followed by a series of others. Then Yi's head faced the floor, a painful cry ripped from him while more tears fell. Bent toward the ground, afflicted, a sight of the most pathetic and agonizing, frames shaken by the weeping. _No no no…_ This would have been enough to make Yasuo cry, by compassion on this matter. He wanted to grab, hug his lover through this but the same thing stopped him. _He's hurting so much…_ Always the small fear to be rejected at once if he went too far.

« Don't cry ! Please, it's fine. Everything is fine. » The maximum he allowed himself was to reach for Yi with the towel, lifting his face to look at him. The latter let Yasuo do, so very little resistance, crushed by his emotions. All of it was far too clear in his eyes, tears never seemed to stop one day. Shame, pain, guilt. Ah yes, there came the struggling under the touch, Yi trying to lower his face to hide. Against his own craving Yasuo let him go, further pain was to prevent.

To his relief, Yi instead caught him in his arms, a strong embrace really tight while he burried his face against the latter's neck. There they could fit perfectly, none wanting to move from this. At first stunned, Yasuo responded to it and laced his arms around the man's back. _Damn that's better._ Incredible how soothing this mere hug could turn out.

Yi kept clinging to him in a way that he have called precious under other circumstances but now it was just helpless, terribly touching.

So Yasuo let him cry. _He needs it_. To let go his sadness, frustration, pain. _Hope he will feel better later_. It also let him some time to think of this new info. He could safely guess this was what Yi refused to tell before, the silenced matter. _Another killer_. This memory came up and the different sense it took made Yasuo sick. Yi hadn't been refering to fighting during the war but to a more personnal crime. _This doesn't sound right_. Before Yi said it was Noxus who destroyed the village, killed everyoone but now it would be something else. And imagine Yi possibly kill one by one the villagers, it hurt and most of all it seemed wrong. Yasuo considered he knew enough of the man from during the war and from now to say he wouldn't harm someone unless forced to.

 _There is something. I don't know what but it's here, not stated yet._

In any case, he learned something new tonight. It had been hard, painful for both of them but he learned something. Maybe things would get better after that, if Yi accepted to tell more. _It's not over but there is an improvement_. Slowly he carressed Yi's back, rubbing small patterns to calm him. Without a doubt it was very harsh for Yi, letting out things he meant to hide. Even the strongest had to take a rest sometimes. _No shame to have in it_.

« Shhhhhhh… It's alright. We good. » Yasuo hoped the weeping would end soon, it broke his heart so see his man so vulnerable.

It seemed that the broken silence pushed Yi to talk too : « I'm sorry….. » A few weak sobs still managed to come up, though not as worrying as the beginning.

« Nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one who have to apologize, for always asking you. » Whisper only for the other man, so close they could melt. « Your man is one fucking idiot, sorry for hurting you. »

The shyest of laugh vibrated against Yasuo's neck, gentle feeling warming his heart just from hearing it. _That's it, success !_ This small joy translated in a more tender embrace.

« Maybe bed would be better. Come with me, sunshine ? » After all, it was still the night, next morning would be difficult if they lost more sleep.

Yi parted to let the latter move, both standing up. Gazes meeting, Yasuo felt relieved to find indeed a more happy turn, soft glint though quite red after crying. _Nah, still cute_.

Before going to bed Yi still had to dress for the night. Towel falling to the floor without care, it left Yasuo a small time to appreciate the sight while the man found some sleep clothe and put it on. _Mmmmh_. He wasn't sure if he had to feel bad for staring or not, the boundaries were blurred for now. Anyway, Yi didn't seem to mind being naked in the latter's presence. _I don't know_. Little could he do, he was weak for his man. Enough to get some heated thoughts but he put it away as quick, this was out of question.

When Yi was done, the latter reached for him from his spot on the bed. « Come here baby. » The following pleased sigh was worth everything as the man joined him in bed.

Yasuo prefered to let his lover the choice of the sleeping position, not sure if he would agree to a proper spooning or anything close. Lying back on the mattress, he was glad to feel Yi come closer, snuggled up to him under the blanket. _My heart…_

 _Hope things will get better._


	54. Chapter 54

_Oh shit_

It had felt too good to be normal. Yasuo had been quietly basking in their sleepy embrace when once more he was hit by arousal. _Please not now_. Because they were still in bed, peacefully cuddling and nothing would hurt more than to part. _Mornings hate me….._ This was particularly annoying, he refused to ask Yi some relief, not even sure if they would have sex again.

A soft groan managed to slip out, making him curse innerly. _Have to go !_ The way Yi was still holding him close was far too inviting, gentle warmth they shared. Enough to make him whine in silence when he got out of bed, hoping that the latter wouldn't wake up because ofthe move. After a quite long extraction, sure Yi wasn't nearly aware of it, he could go to the bathroom.

 _Why me….._

This was getting more than tiring, to have to wake up with a boner and either bother Yi or flee with shame. Door closed, he took off trousers and underwear, sighing a bit once free of the confining clothes. _Mmmh need to stay quiet_. He stepped into the shower, this was the best option at the moment, then he could get cleaned up quickly.

Really, what a shame to still have such basic instinct. There he was, in the shower, arousal seeping in his veins like some vicious poison. Yasuo took himself in hand, stroking his cock at a fast pace from the start. _Cannot let him hear of it_. It had to be quick and efficient. An arm braced to the wall, leaning to it little by little as his need burned brighter, fucking his other hand at an increasing rhythm. Just like this, a dark shade painted his face and shoulders, result of the craving.

 _Oh no, I hope last time we left the lube here_. Having to come back like this to the room was impossible, it would take too long to dress up again – just in case – and this was getting urgent.

Fumbling a little, he searched the lube in the bathroom. Good thing, it was kept here. Not time to wait, his situation was rather precarious. _Please don't wake up_. His thoughts always came back to his lover, memories of each delightful time coming up to make him regret not having Yi at the moment.

Before the night, Yasuo already had some fear about their relationship, how things were going after his poor behavior. Afraid that Yi wasn't as comfortable with the touch, cuddles, anything he initiated because of his need for contact. Being punched didn't help at all but he deserved it and it helped to understand the potential matter. _I'm too intrusive, guess that's why._

And so after the night, it was even less clear. Yi seeked the embrace but it was really a painful moment. A need for safety. Boundaries right now were blurred, nothing sure. Even if Yasuo did his best not to seem threatening, invasive. _Cannot ask him now. Too risky._

All he could do was to cling to his memories, better times maybe, who knew how things would go from here. Hand slicked, Yasuo decided to sit down, it would be less exhausting. Difficult not to flinch, even when it was his own hand teasing his rim. _Fuck that's cold_. One finger at first, not a big deal, leisurely thrusting in and out. It started to be difficult to keep silent when he added another finger, the new stretch making him weak in the knee. Forehead leaning against the tile, the chilly feeling a gracing compared to the heat running under his skin. Yasuo had nothing to keep silent, one hand deeply working his inside while the other one remained on his cock, quick pace not meant to last. _I need…_ So he had to make a great effort to prevent any suspicious noise that would betray his position.

Panting heavily, mind busy with sweet memories. How it felt to be fucked, the first time he could enjoy something of the sort, Yi's cock pounding into him in this new experience. Despite himself he thrust harder into him, desperately trying to find that spot, scissoring, crooking his fingers.

« Hngh- ! » He succeeded but at the same time not so much, having let down his guard even for the shortest instant. It had been enough for a sound to get out be fore he could do anything.

Being found out was worse than anything so Yasuo chose to muffle his pleasure for good, bringing up his hand formerly on his cock to shut himself. It was less than perfect, precum largely staining his hand but in this needy haze anything would do. Sad choice, he had just one stimualtion for now. _Have to be quick_. No care anymore, three fingers inside, twisting to reach deeper, bring some pleasure.

 _Yi….._

Their times together were so good, amazing, being alone for this kind of crap was horrible. He felt himself clenching down on his hand, reacting at some deep fantasy. _I want him so bad…_ Muffling his moans at least was going well, forceful grasp over his mouth. Tears fell, just a few over damp skin, slicked hand. _Please._

He could feel it, the edge coming so so close. Yasuo feared it would be too much and couldn't hold back his cry. But no coming back. Cock flushed red, standing at attention though it received nothing, bucking into thin air as reflex. To finish himself, he probbed his prostate, massaging despite the violent spark it gave him each time.

Then it was over the limit, white-hot pleasure washing over him as he tensed. The suddeness of the end took him by surprise, to the point where he bit down his hand not to let anything pass. Ridding his climax in waves, sharp rocking on his fingers, till he gave all he had.

Things blurred for a while, fighting back his breathing to something normal, gracelessly leaning to the tile. _Not as good. But that's one thing done_. For a torturous instant he listened in freezing anxiety for any noise outside of the bathroom, clue that Yi was awake.

So glad it wasn't the case, silence ruled the house. _That was close_.

Release feeling a bit uncomfortable on his skin, Yasuo stood and went to shower. Warm water soaking him, rincing the proof of his yearning. He noticed the bite self-inflicted in the last instant, already sealing itself. Shame was still here, in the back of his mind, for being always so needy, requiring attention. _At least I didn't bother Yi this time_.

The shower was calming, something welcom after such hard night and this recent urgence.

Once it was done, he stored back the lube back to its previous place and dried. Back in his clothes, he returned to the room to see if Yi was still asleep.

 _Good. He's fine_. Curled into the blanket, his lover made a pretty cute sight. Like nothing happened this night, no crying, no yelling. _I don't think he will wake up soon._ Surely the man needed more rest, opening up to someone else could be really draining.

The same ache came back, craving for contact but this didn't seem right to indulge into for now. So Yasuo settled down, not far of the bed though, just in case. Not even in the mood to read, he just sat down and did nothing, watchful gaze on his lover.

 _I don't know_. _What will come next ? I need to know more about what happened to him_.

Tragic past, so strange to see no visible trace of it on Yi's face. _Who could have guessed ? We're not so different, at the end_. _But he's better at hidding it than me_. Same sadness, knowing Yi had to go through a lot but bottled up everything. _Why do that ? If he was alone all this time after the war, why would try to hide this ?_ Also another thing in common, solitude.

 _Maybe he has nothing to do about the village destruction but he's convinced of the contrary_. It had a name, survivor's guilt. Possibly Yi felt guilty for not being here when Noxus attacked the place. _If that's the case it's not his fault_. Yasuo was aware this matter was beyond him, it was over fo years but still, understand what happened could maybe help his lover. Not being alone with such burden.

For a kind soul like Yi, blaming himself for something of the sort was likely. Honor guided him the same way than Yasuo, at some nuance.

 _But to the point of thinking he killed them all…_ The time following his return to the village must had been cruel, painful in the extreme. _He buried the bodies_. Sick feeling creeping up just at the idea. _And he keeps hurting himself over this. What really happened ?_

Little by little, sleep came back, Yasuo didn't even try to fight it as he lied down on the floor. Also because suddenly he didn't have the strenght to carry himself to bed, too lazy. _Not gonna bother him more_.


	55. Chapter 55

This was really peculiar to see at the waking. At first, Yi slowly felt sleep leaving him and at the same time he registered the lack of a warm body to his side. _Ah?_ So he sat up on the bed in an instant, looking around.

That was when he spotted Yasuo, sprawled on the floor not far of the bed. _What is he doing there ? He possibly can't have moved like that in his sleep_.

To be sure, he searched in his memories but he somehow remembered falling asleep pressed to Yasuo. _What then ?_ Yi was curious. And most of all, he missed the touch. To be alone in bed wasn't a fun time.

Memories of the night came back too, a real stab. _Oh no._ He could have been fooled, thinking nothing happened. But the nightmare had been strong enough to leave a mark even now. Faint echo of a feminine voice in his ears. He blocked it right away. _Please, not now._

This wasn't the worst. _Yasuo knows_. After trying so much not to talk about it, he let out his personnal problems. _This should never have happened_.

The familiar burn of shame, self-loathing. _I hurt him…_ Not specifically thinking of the slap or even the punch nights ago, but of the moment he broke down. As short as it had been, anger and pain made him forget Yasuo himself felt guilty for the blood on his hands. _His brother's life. To the point of going suicidal at first_. And Yi just threw some hurtful words, no doubt it pained the latter. This wasn't reasonable, mature at all, he wished he could take this back.

 _Hurt… Maybe that's why he's not in bed_. The idea was ridiculous but Yi still wondered if it could be the case. _He showed little of it last night but what if he was taking his distances ?_ There would be no reasons for Yasuo to go sleep on the floor, since he already had a place reserved in bed. _No, I'm thinking too much_. But the man would be in his rights to avoid contact, several times Yi hit him in his panick. This wasn't even legitime to do, nothing could excuse acting so poorly. _It's my fault. Everything is my fault_.

This train of anxious thoughts had Yi repress the urge to reach for his man. _After all he did for me, I don't deserve that_. Small voice deeply whispering of not being worthy. It was so usual, nothing new, by now it was his way of considering the matter.

Though Yasuo looked to peaceful, lying on the floor so innocent. The moments where he seemed more human than ever.

His quiet contemplation was stopped when the latter stirred in his sleep, eyes blinking open under the daylight. _My man, so beautiful even at the waking_. Yasuo looked up and their gazes met, soft warmth blooming in his chest. To be then crushed by the reminder of his faults. _I hurt him_. _He saw me break. He knows_.

« Hello cutie. Slept well ? » Yasuo voice sounded so cheerful.

« I'm well rested. And you ? How did you end up there ? »

« Oh errrrrrrrrrrrrr….. I woke up much earlier and went for a shower, yup. After I wanted to hang around but looks like I fell asleep. » Genuine laugh for this unfortunate nap.

 _Ah then it's understandable. Nothing to fear_.

« I see. But you know you could just go back to bed, it would have been better for your back. »

« Didn't want to bother you. »

 _Don't think like that. This is a valid reason_. Nonetheless the empty feeling didn't go away. Yi craved to hug the other man but something stopped him.

For a time silence came back, turning awkward as none moved from their respective spot. Yi was puzzled, rather sure that Yasuo would have already jumped to hold him tight in another time. _I want…_

« Yi ? » Curiosity for this shy hint of uncertainty from the man.

« Yes ? »

« I know the topic is hard but I still have a few questions about what happened. »

 _So early in the day…_ Yi sighed, not really ready for this kind of troubles. He would never be ready anyway.

« You know already…. It's not pleasant to remember. »

« Yes, I'm sorry for that. But sharing this kind of burden may help, you said so some time ago. You helped me this way. »

Yi stayed cautious, far too aware how harsh things could get if he didn't control his emotions. But this wasn't the usual or even the last two breaking, he was calm, a lot had already been unpacked and there was no panick. _He has a point_. He remembered how much he wanted Yasuo to share his story, to know the truth about his past and actions. Though reversing positions didn't alterate his opinion over himself. _This isn't the same_.

Since Yi didn't answer, the latter continued : « Is it okay ? »

 _Is it safe ?_ That was the question.

« Yes. But please don't force too much. » Yi answered, nervous about this. Allowing to be stripped bare once more, this time with consent and hopefully in a more quiet setting. _He would get his answers anyway. Better not wait another nightmare and possibly worse things to happen_.

« I'll do my best to prevent anything. Just tell me when you want to stop. » Though Yasuo waited patiently for his lover to nod before asking. « First, what really happened ? I got it, you feel responsible for the massacre. But you don't strike me as the type to murder a whole village. »

 _Here it comes_. Same pain, throbbing, leaving no rest since that deadly day.

« Noxus spilled the blood but the responsibility is completely mine to bear. » Already he felt a light tremor, a bit too vulnerable on such topic. It was annoying how just talking about this could get him ready to snap. « I told you, I went to fight during the war and when I came back almost everybody was dead. But this doesn't lessen what I did in any way. They're all dead, because of me. »

Yi didn't feel like crying. Yes his heart was like raw open, ready to receive more salt on the wound but the circumstances of the talk made it easier.

« But no ? I mean, it's Noxus fault then. You have nothing to do with the death of anyone here. Or maybe I don't get it ? You weren't here, nobody can guess what could happen, where and when. It's not your fault. » Yasuo sounded so honest, trying to understand a matter far more complex than he thought.

« You don't understand, the fault is mine. » _It hurts_. Piercing voice filling his mind not so gently, till he learned the unbearable truth. For an instant he searched his words. « Noxus would never had attacked a village like this one, not without reasons. You maybe heard of Wuju before, how useful it had been in the ionian resistance. that's it. Noxus heard about it and seeked to destroy its source. »

« I don't see what it has to do with you. »

« Let me finish. Our village was hidden, meant never to be found by outsiders. By leaving to fight, I broke the main rule. The village was supposed to remain in peace, not to take any part in wars and conflicts, to preserve Wuju. » A deep breath let out. « This is really my fault. By running to the war, I revealed and killed the village. Nobody can debate that. »

By now, Yi really wished for human contact, comfort in this hard return to his crimes. Sadly there would be nothing of it, Yasuo stayed where he was next to the bed.

« Yes but still, it's not your fault, no ? I repeat myself, nobody can guess future events. You had a hard choice to make and you chose the honorable decision. How many lives did you save in this war ? This means as much as the lives lost in the village. In the end, nothing of it would have happened without Noxus and their fucking invasion. Don't blame yourself for that. »

Part of him was angry at Yasuo for how true this sounded, how it questionned all his beliefs about his own actions. The other part wanted to much to trust him, to know there was things out of control in the world, that he couldn't have done a lot to prevent. _No, it's your fault. Never forget_. She kept twisting the blade through his heart, never letting go. His guilt.

« This… can't be true. She wouldn't let me at peace. »

« She ? Who's that ? » Yasuo was more than confused.

« Her. » Yi waved his hand in a vague gesture, dismissive. « Mother. She keeps haunting me. » The reality of this ridiculous situation fell on him, not really prepared for how it sounded to tell to another person. « I'm not crazy, please. But nightmares would finish one day by making me. »

Yi didn't even looked up to see the latter's reaction. _He must pity me_. Indeed, silence followed. He felt his cheek heating up, for passing as a fool.

Then a hand ruffled his hair, a bit vigorously but the message was as unexpected than comforting. Yasuo's distressed voice came up : « Hey hey hey, don't cry please ! We can stop for now, it's already a lot. I'm sorry. »

 _Ah ? I'm crying ?_ He wasn't even aware of it, the mood wasn't as close to what it would take. Bringing a hand to his own face, Yi indeed found some tears though it seemed to him a little too extreme. But he was glad for the presence, how Yasuo went closer to check on him. Not nearly as good as a kiss, an embrace but it was the most he got since his waking. The yearning was too strong.

« No, I'm not. Really, I don't know, it must be a reflex when… thinking about her. Don't fret about me. »

Yi smiled to the latter, hoping it would be enough to drop this subject. It seemed to work, Yasuo relaxing a little but also coming back to his previous spot.

Short lived touch, Yi already missed it. It also showed how right he was about this, Yasuo was really keeping interactions to a minimum. _He's scared or cautious. Or hurt_. The third option was the most likely and least appreciated.

« You sure? Let's stop, you said enough. Plus I wouldn't say no to a breakfast. Or lunch. What time is it ? »

This open distraction on another topic was welcome, still marked by Yasuo lasting happiness despite the serious conversation. It felt good, to have someone positive, to focus on something else.

But Yi would have hoped for something else, he wasn't even sure. Just like something was missing. Not to talk further painful memories but maybe share with Yasuo on this common topic. Yi felt bad for wanting comfort, safety. This was already a lot but his heart ached to be filled with love.

 _Still better than nothing_.


	56. Chapter 56

That painful feeling didn't leave, even after their meal. Tiring, draining ache in his heart for having inflicted harm. Yasuo acted as happy as usual, constant noisy presence but the gap between them remained. It would almost drive Yi crazy. After all this time reaching for each other, always keeping any kind of contact, it was cruel.

It also reminded him of the nightmare, the impossibility to join his lover. _Powerless_. Frozen on the spot. Yi hated that feeling, not being able to act, just a silent spectator.

The night had been tough, terrible time but they made it. Even just before, he managed to talk a bit more openly of the past, it stung less during day time. But these matters seemed trivial compared to the need for touch he experienced right now.

Difficult. Yasuo was just here, like always. But not a single offer, window of action to hug, show some mutual love. If that was possible, Yi was starving for any kind of contact. _I can't, I can't…_

As hard as it felt, he refused to ask Yasuo. First, because he was the one responsible – without any doubt – for the latter's behavior. Second, by principle he resented asking too much. Even more for this kind of favors, the chatest caress seemed an outrageous request.

Imagine asking for a hug, a kiss, anything, it would kill him of shame. That was why before he was so glad for Yasuo's tendency to cling even without being asked to. A good pretext to enjoy the closeness.

 _He doesn't want to. Don't ask_. No once it had been made clear but Yi was far too tempted to jump on conclusions, be prepared for the worse. It would hurt less this way. _No, I'm the one who hurt him_.

Anyway, Yasuo presence was already a blessing for him, it made his days brighter. Fighting his yearning, Yi sat during the meal listening to his man and happy banter.

Even for the washing of the dishes, Yasuo took charge, keeping up the good mood. Yi sat not far in the living room, quietly paying attention to anything the latter would say. But his body still craved. To stand up and hug his lover from behind, arms laced around his torso and chest, feel him.

Sweet torture to endure. Yasuo wasn't even aware of this, the way he didn't notice at first Yi pain in the first days.

Awful, this vicious thought in the back of Yi's mind, pressing to feel betrayed, uncared. _No no no it's not his fault_. The craving for affection would soon become a real matter, if nothing was done. But what could he do ? Direct no to asking Yasuo, even less for taking without asking. There was no solution, he would keep it locked as much as possible. And dream for the smallest interaction.

It turned almost unbearable. When he went out to meditate, of course Yasuo followed. And as expected and opposite to each previous occasion, he lay down in the grass not far from Yi but at certain distance nonetheless. Where usually he would keep small contact with him, innocent hand wandering on purpose.

Yi knew it would go this way but it still hurt. They were in the gardens, quiet breeze rustling the leaves, Yasuo peacefully dozing. The latter missed the time where he came to nap head resting on his lap, something so domestic but even that was so touching.

Too much distractions. Yi couldn't focus on anything but what his body urged. _How is it possible to feel so much ?_ It was to the point of pain. Yasuo, just there, in his sight, so close and yet so far. He grew restless, having difficulties to stay still on his spot. Oh light shudder, shaking his frame. Yi's gaze lingered on the sleepy form of his lover, thoughts running wild. It would be so easy to reach, touch, embrace Yasuo. Bodies pressed together, grab, feel him up. The unmistakable warmth in his chest, starting to pool lower. _Not this…_ This was a new step, too touch-starved, it was getting out of hands.

Red came to his cheeks but Yi couldn't even tell if it was from the sudden wave of arousal or the indecendy of such train of thoughts. Breathing coming shorter, there was too much at once. _I can't stay_. Yasuo was just there, the risk too big. Yi didn't trust himself not to try something desperate.

Getting to his feet with shaky moves, body too impacted by this mess of feelings, craving, Yi decided to hurry back home, take his distances from the man.

By some ungodly lack of luck, Yasuo rose too, gazing back at him curiously. _He wasn't sleeping ?_ So glad not to have made anything suspicious toward his lover but also terribly anxious about how it would go by now. Yasuo was awake and already standing to follow him.

« Yi ? »

This was bordering madness, Yi far too needy to stay and yet the other man stood there asking if he was fine. So he ran back home. Not the most tactful move ever made but being in presence of Yasuo without any kind of comfort was overwhelming.

Behind him there was a panicked version of his name as distance was added. Gone in a flash. Not the conventionnal use for such speed but this was urgent. _Damn Yasuo and his worry_. He knew he would come around to check on him, after such unusual departure.

Yasuo saw he took the direction of the house, he would take a little more time to reach it but do it anyway. It gave Yi a short time to think before the latter could arrive too and be a pain at asking what was the matter. Ridiculous move but he went to the room and shut the door closed, it wouldn't keep the man away. _Please don't come in_. He wasn't sure what he could do for now, arousal running in his body like a snake, difficult to repress.

The most logical solution would be to take care of that, quick and efficient. But impossible to do while Yasuo around, it would be embarassing. Urges pushed Yi to ask relief from his lover but it was even worse than asking for contact. _Can't…_ It sounded too much like the night of the first breaking, how he begged Yasuo to do something. Same guilt, shame for his own needs.

 _Hell_. No solution. And his clothing became unbearable, too hot, too confined. _Why can't I live without this stupid need_.

« Yi ? You're here ? » Shouted from the other side of the door.

He sighed, not ready for this. _Here he is_.

Hiding would do nothing good, Yi decided to face the latter to explain the minimum. Door half opened, he stood there staring back at a confused Yasuo.

« What's wrong ? Not that I'm panicking or anything, I see you're fine but maybe not ? You ran away, last time you did was because I fucked up. Shit, I talk too much ? » All went in one go, something Yasuo did when a bit awkward or unsure about a situation.

It still relaxed Yi in the slightest, to see his lover so bothered. Still, he stayed on his spot, hand on the door in any case. Prefered to have his hands busy, Yasuo was so so close, easy to reach. In the latter's presence, Yi just grew even more restless, warm. His gaze too struggled to focus on the man rather than going lower, any expanse of skin visible.

« I'm fine, I'm fine. Just… can you leave me for a while ? Please… ? » Great effort made to keep an even tone, some composure despite the temptation.

« Why ? What's the matter ? You can tell me, please. Are you sick ? » As expected, worry poured freely, in Yasuo's words and pleading eyes. _He's far too careful_.

This was getting exhausting, Yi's body would soon snap.

« Yasuo, please. Go away. It's not against you, trust me. I just need some private time. » He didn't know if it was better to let the man know or not, the innuendo was here anyway. No guess how bothered he looked at the moment, surely it hurt to see. Yi just needed to be left alone.

The latter was quiet, staring at Yi with a mix of questionning and shock.

« You… Private time ? You need to fuck ? »

« Yes now go away… please. » Urges too strong, one last resistance before he would jump Yasuo.

« Wait ! I'm not judging. Can I help you ? I mean, usually we got off each other, that's not new, eh ? I'm always here if you want. »

Hard to repress that specific groan that could have slipped. Yi just wanted to do that, let go and fuck. Barely supporting himself at the door, legs threatening to buckle.

« I though you didn't want to touch me anymore… » Because this was the whole reason of this shit show. Holding back because Yasuo seemed to reject any potential touch.

From the puzzled look on the latter's face, it wasn't true.

« No ! I never said that ! Ah… errr I thought I was being too bothering, that you didn't like having me so clingy. Well, that's what I understood from the slap. » Small giggle, too insecure.

 _Oh no. I really hurt him_. So this was really Yi's doing here.

« I'm sorry… I never meant to harm you. » How could they even have a conversation with Yi in such bad shape. « C-Could we… go back to before ? I need… »

Surely his state showed too much, pupils wide as he gripped the last remains of inhibitions. In any case, it got Yasuo to move at last.

« I got you baby… » Just this then he moved to hold Yi, pressing a kiss to his lips. How much it must have surprised him, to feel Yi take over the kiss, cling to him like a dying man while responding eagerly.

 _Finally…_ Yi almost sobbed of relief, to be able to touch his man again. He broke the kiss, taking just an instant to watch that enraptured look on Yasuo's expression then he pulled the man in the room.

The latter followed, not nearly aware of how horny, starved for anything Yi was. Yasuo lay down on the bed, immediately covered by Yi's heated body. Another kiss shared, same urge for contact. It felt so good, to have his man back to him, accepting any kind of affection. Yi craved to give and to receive.

Shameful, he couldn't stop himself from grinding against Yasuo, body seeking any kind of pleasure. He was so hard, it ached. Enough to yank off his clothing without any care. Yasuo was here, under him, consenting. Everything would be fine. The latter got the hint too, undressed though it took him some time because of his position. Yi got tired of waiting, took off his pants and directly went down on him. _Yes…._ Giving into his urges, hungry mouth ready to offer pleasure.

Yasuo let out a surprised moan, from the keen display and wet warmth envelopping him. He missed that too, to cause pleasure, be responsible for Yasuo's growing need. Attention focused on the latter's he came back to sucking, licking the hard shaft, a bit too turned on at the first taste of end.

It was easier than the first time, getting used to the heavy feeling upon his tongue. He enjoyed this as much as Yasuo, judging from the urgent noises, groans he made. It turned messy, drool trailing down his chin but no care, this need for contact resulted in a craving to please. Yasuo got twitchy, struggling not to buck into him but it failed once. Yi took it though it was a challenge.

« S-Stop that ! I don't want to come yet…. » How arousing to hear Yasuo so shaken by a blow job. This was some good praise.

Yi followed the request, pulling off with some regrets but glad to have brought the latter so close. _I still need him to fuck me_. He crawled up to kiss Yasuo, in need of affection. Sloppy answer from the man but the intention was there too.

« Yasuo. I'm sorry for asking another favor but please… can you fuck me ? I promise I'll not make more requests of the sort. » Completely red in the face from having to ask such a thing.

« No baby, it doesn't work that way. » A bit out of it but still lucid, ready to reassure. « Not a question of favor. But if it makes you feel better, I'll be the one asking a favor. Would you like to fuck me ? »

At first Yi didn't know what to think, mouth running dry. Not only he was free to ask anything but Yasuo offered to go on the receiving end. _I want…_

« Yes please… » Nothing could express as close how thankful he was.

 _Ah, lube_. This was going so well, no time to lose so he ran to the bathroom and came back as soon. Just enough time for Yasuo to properly get out of his trousers and take off the hair tie.

The sight was really striking, touching in a way, Yasuo waiting for him in badly hidden impatience, cock red from need after such good start.

Both sighed of relief when Yi returned in bed, close enough to be held while he slicked his left hand. No preamble but with care, he circled Yasuo's hole, feeling his tense at first from the chilly touch. Once he was relaxed Yi pushed in a finger and it sank all the way with so little resistance, it surprised him. _What ?_ Yasuo just held him a bit tighter.

« Yasuo ? »

Not even the need the elaborate the question, Yasuo got it and had this not so sorry expression : « Yeah…. Got a problem this morning, you know what kind. So, before the shower… »

 _Ah That's why._ Both blushed at bit more at this topic, they knew how it went some mornings. But now Yi had no worries for the preparation, going directly to three fingers inside the latter. There was a light tightening but nothing harmful. He worked Yasuo open just for more fun, pressing several times to his prostate. Till the man couldn't take more of it, rocking back to him with need. Some swearing came too.

« Honey, I won't last long… Fuck me please… ? » Arousal was obvious in his features, half lidded eyes directed to Yi, urging to move, spread open for his man.

Though his need for contact had been sated already, Yi couldn't wait more and lubed his cock. A few strokes, enough to moan lowly.

This time he was the one doing the fucking, positionning himself just above the latter. Really something worth seeing, Yasuo seemed so ready for this, worked up, small shiver running his skin. A bit distracted, Yi lay an hand on his lover's chest, relishing the touch, crazy hearbeat under his palm. Yasuo whined, it was taking too long for him.

So Yi replied to it, hips jerking forward and pushing into his lover without the slightest hitch.

« Yi- ! » He choked on his breath, the initial thrust sending hot pleasure from brushing that specific spot. Yasuo clung to him strongly, recovering a little, breath labored.

 _He's so gorgeous…_ Really, being on top gave the best sight, all in blushing need, restless. Without even meaning to, Yi ram back into velvet warmth, too taken by that sweet feeling, his lover so tight around him. A few other thrusts as steady and Yasuo clenched down on him suddenly, yelping as orgasm hit him, hard.

 _Already ?_

Not a man to swear but this was particularly an occasion to. « Fuck…. » Yi couldn't help that, he grinded into the latter through climax, relishing the drawn out moan that followed. Amazing, how Yasuo's grasp on him almost turned painful but he didn't care, it only showed how good he felt. Face turned to the side, panting softly, he seemed so gone.

Then Yasuo brought his arm to cover as much of his face as he could. « Shit, I'm sorry… Ahhhhh…... »

« It's fine ! Don't worry. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. » Yi bent to kiss him, putting away the latter's arm to have access to his face. Though Yasuo seemed still a bit embarrassed, he returned the kiss, opening up to his lover.

Then Yi started to pull out, to prevent any discomfort due to overstimulation. He would have to find another kind of relief for his burning ache. But before he was fully out, Yasuo gave a urgent noise, half panicked.

« No no, don't go ! I can do more, I swear. » Legs locked around Yi's waist, he made sure he wouldn't go away. This was overly sweet.

« I don't want to hurt you… » Yi went back inside though very slowly and intending not to move again till the latter could go again. In such advanced state of need, it was straining to remain still, even more when inside Yasuo.

During this pause, Yi waited patiently, just changing of postion to lie on top of the latter because it was getting exhausting. He needed so much but right now taking pleasure would be only one-sided. Under him Yasuo was so pliant, lazily spread, his first release in white ropes over his stomach. A few open-mouthed kiss were shared, to give patience.

 _It will takes some time. Maybe I can have him talk_. It was always strangely soothing or arousing to hear him talk, almost a purr in some occasions.

« Talk to me Yasuo. »

« About what ? » Even him sounded tired, recovering slowly. The gods knew how but his voice got deep, husky. Yi was here for this.

« Anything ? Details about this morning, when you woke up… ? » How could he suggest such private thing, he didn't know. _But this can get him ready, I hope_.

« Oh errrrr….. spicy, what you ask, love. » Laugh rumbled in his chest, Yi could feel it. « But nothing transcending, really. »

« How did it feel… ? You fucked your own hand ? I think I can imagine it. You, barely able to stand in the shower, leaning to the wall, three fingers inside. » He was so surprised by the easiness of such dirty talk, how it went smoothly. It got him even more aroused, cock twitching deep inside his lover. _Sinful. How can I say things like that ?_

« Wow okay ! I didn't know you could go this far ! » Yasuo seemed equally surprised to hear this coming from him. But Yi could tell he was into it. « You-You're not wrong, t'was something like that… Couldn't help but think of you, your cock, how nice you fucked me last time… See, I didn't last long because you're too damn exciting… »

The results were here, Yasuo was hard again, intensified red to his cheek. Yi made one experimental thrust, testing the waters. Immediately a moan broke out of Yasuo, something unexpected and loud.

« I think we're good to go. And you ? »

« Yes baby, always ready for you… »

To change a bit, Yi took the latter's legs and slung it over his shoulders, this way the angle would be different and maybe better. Now Yasuo was bent, his lover hovering near ready to give it good.

« Oh, sexy… You plan to fuck me senseless ? » If Yasuo sounded cocky, confident, it got reduced to nothing when the latter moved, rocking into him sharply. He howled at that, the angle more than delicious, cock rubbing his insides so good.

Even for Yi it was something else, the reactions of his lover, how he clung to him, it made him harder. _Not going to last long…_

And Yasuo started babling again, words making little sense from time to time, endearements, Yi's name repeated like a prayer. It punctuated the pounding, each slap of skin against skin as he lost himself in the rough pace. _May he never shut up_.

« So good, baby… Just for me… Faster ? »

Yi wondered how he could even go worse than this, already too close, merely rutting inside the man. He bent completely Yasuo, leaning to kiss him with hunger. This was becoming difficult, Yasuo couldn't return the attention properly, far too busy panting heavily. Oxygen seemed to disappear.

 _Beautiful_. Under him, Yasuo was wrecked, just able to fight for air, grab his lover and hold till it would end. Glistening tears in his eyes, threatening to fall. _I love him so much_. Emotions filled Yi's heart, ready to spill.

« Thank you, Yasuo… »

Called, the man lifted his gaze to meet his, glassy eyes, so gone but there was still some reason behind. « What- ? » Interrupted by another groan, never at peace.

Yi's hand went to craddle his lover's face, make himself clearer. « Thank you… for staying by my side, for everything… I hurt you but you're still here, I'm so thankful…Wish you could stay forever… »

The latter looked shattered after this, the pleasure and the gentle words causing the tears to fall.

« No, it's not fair- ! You can't say Ah— ! something like that…. » With a shaky hand Yasuo tried to mirror the touch, convey what his voice struggled to.

It made Yi fall in love once more, feel the trembling of the latter's hand over his cheek. He grabbed that same hand and gave long peck to it.

« I love you… » Just loud enough to be hear amisdt the noises of sex filling the room.

« I love you too ! Terrible sunshine… » On the end his voice broke, too raw from crying out his pleasure.

Thrusts turning erratic, the end was close for both. Yi gave his last strenghts in it, going to stroke his lover's cock to share the same bliss.

« Together… »

Yasuo nodded furiously, face damp with tears that didn't seem to stop yet. Then he went tense, back arching off the bed in this violent climax. Not a sound went out of him, muted scream while he forcefully held Yi. Spurts of come made a mess of the latter's hand, still jerking him through it.

It took Yi as suddenly, blinding pleasure in his veins. To muffle a too noisy outburst, he went to bite down Yasuo's neck, though he was too shaken to even notice that. _Mmmmmh..._

This was their personnal heaven, gentle warmth invading both of them in the aftermath of the end. Once he got his breath back, Yi checked on the latter, making sure the pleasure had been shared. With care he put down Yasuo's legs, though he seemed very numb after such rough lovemaking. Just lying down on the bed, gaze clouded staring back at the ceiling without focus, hands clutched on Yi arms. He had lever let go.

« Yasuo ? You're still here ? » This was to be expected, Yi himself was too aware of how draining it could be to have sex.

The latter nodded slowly, obviously shook to his core but recovering. A grin split his face when his gaze met Yi's. « Awesooooooome... Doing just fine... »

Appeased, Yi went to look at the bite he gave. _Of course it's already healing_. He carressed the tender skin there. « I'm sorry, I bit you. Did it hurt ? »

« That's my line, baby... » Yasuo's hand followed, probbing at the area around his neck. « Nah, fucked too stupid, didn't feel it. And now it's closing. I'm sad, I'd love to have some of your marks, even just for a day. »

While the man made the conversation, Yi pulled out, feeling a bit too sensitive. At the same time, it shut Yasuo up, from the loss.

He whimpered so low in his throat, small instant of vulnerability. « Damn, you filled me up for good. » This earned him a gentle tap on his forehead, reaction for such words. « Hey what ? Did you hear yourself just before ? You can't feel ashamed after such dirty talk. Well, that was hot. Wish you could do this more often. »

 _He never stops_. Too vulgar to hear and yet Yi craved this.

« Please just stop. » His face felt too warm, no doubt he was blushing.

« Whaaaaaaaaaat... ? I'm just giving my opinion ! »


	57. Chapter 57

The mood remained soft, even after that bit of crude conversation. Yasuo wasn't complaining at all, having his lover back in his arms like it used to be before. _Beautiful darling_.

Silence stayed as they cuddled, most of it wandering hands over free skin although it never deviated. Just sating the urge for touch.

 _Missed it. Missed him_.

One of his own rules but Yasuo still yearned for the latter. To be back to this reminded him of what he missed for this short time. Not a very happy thought. He saw it during that strange day, how Yi got increasingly restless. About to ask, say anything but it didn't come. Till he ran away.

That instant shocked him, useless panick about being left behind.

It took a really unexpected turn. Yi craved contact too and it reduced him to this, physically impacted till arousal. He couldn't believe yet.

Right there, looking lovingly at the latter, he thought about it. To see such flustered need and fear to even ask. The result of his discipline.

« I'm sorry. »

Surely this was too out of the blue, without real context. It had Yi looking up, small curiosity for this statement.

« For what ? » Slowly he moved to lie further on top of Yasuo, equal focus.

« Erm, for today. Looks like I made it worse for you though it wasn't my intention. »

As quiet apology Yasuo pulled him gently into a kiss. A precious thing, meant to convey how much he wished to do well for Yi, to appease him even though it didn't always work.

The latter's response was to deepen it, relish contact equally.

When both took enough to fill their hearts with that joy, Yi parted to speak : « It's my fault. You wouldn't have acted this way if I hadn't hurt you in the first place. »

It ached lightly, to hear his lover apologize for this. It never was his fault, not once he meant to harm Yasuo. just sad circumstances and nightmares making life difficult.

« No, no. Don't blame yourself for something you couldn't control. I know you never wished to hurt me, just like I'd hate to hurt you even so slightly. »

Now Yi was completely on him, a bit heavy but he liked to feel him right there, rather than being kept away. His hand settled in the small of his back, rubbing slowly.

A bit like talking heart to heart. It felt safe to do so, especially after such genuine lovemaking, when needs for affection were satisfied.

« Still, we both saw the result. » Sad despite the sweetness showed for each other.

Yi would stay stuck on that for a long time, without a doubt. So it was his mission to remind him not to be too harsh on himself. Everyone made mistakes, even more when under huge panick.

The most important was that they managed to find each other, to return to their hugs and kisses.

To push away that empty feeling, Yasuo kissed him again with more passion. Maybe enough to make him forget the night, his terrors and bloody hands. This was all they wanted and needed, contact. He embraced Yi tightly, to show him he would never let him go now that they managed to to solve the matter.

« I caught you. Now you're trapped forever. » Whispered against his lips.

Memory from times ago, when he tried to keep Yi in bed. This time, it was a similar yearning but rather muffled, like snow falling in winter. He couldn't bring himself to be too noisy right now, at the risk of breaking the gentle mood.

Claimed instantly, breath stuck the second Yi dived for this new kiss. It grew needy by the second, to show and to receive. Yasuo wouldn't have dared to hope for this, for hands clinging to him with rare haste.

It last an eternity, enough to reel for oxygen and paw at each other so contact wasn't lost.

A deep blush painted Yi's cheeks when he parted, sharing a gaze : « The gods have mercy, I never wished so much to be caught. Yours, truly. »

Then he seemed to surrender to that mutual rush, leaning closer to give as many pecks as he could.

Caught, Yasuo's breath when his lover decided to show so much affection. A real mystery, to see how he managed to make him so weak for anything.

And it went on, never letting go. He let Yi do as he wished, lying down to be loved till the very last drop. If it was possible, emotion became too much. Tying his voice, not even able to play around like the idiot he was. It was too gentle, sensitive. _Please…_

Lips brushed his neck, lingering with attention while Yasuo stared at the ceiling. A few gasps escaped.

« Yours, too. » He had to say it, as much for him than for Yi. When he said it, it turned out shaken, at the limit of a sob.

How could it get so overwhelming, all of sudden ? It was merely their own love, repeated over skin and words. Yet it struck him like many times. To say it was too much would be a lie, it was never enough yet in that sort of moment Yasuo couldn't fight it. Like the opposite of drowning, far from bad or deadly.

A hand over his face, at first to cool off just a little and possibly a reflex to hide that impressive blush. The latter didn't seem to mind, carrying on his sweet worship.

The only noises in the bedroom were these tiny attentions, pecks and Yasuo's breathing as it got shorter.

 _H-How ?_

Was it what it really meant ? A heartfelt display. It touched deep and there was nothing else to do.

« Yi… ? » He had no idea how he was supposed to react to this. Innerly he craved to return fully the attention given.

« Yes, love ? Do you want me to stop ? »

Yasuo still earned a soft though worried gaze, even as there was no reason to. On the other hand, it increased his fluster for being the target of such treatment, beyond what they usually shared.

A hand craddled his cheek, rubbing gently and he melted again.

« N-No, it's good ! Just…what are you doing to me ? It's… » It got lost in another gasp, right when Yi leaned down to kiss his cheek.

« My apologies, I can't smother my longing for so long. And now I'm so glad to have you here. Tell me when it becomes too much. » In the end it was barely voiced, just for him.

If he could chose a way to die, this would perfectly do.


End file.
